millipede magnate

“look i’m gonna keep it real with you, i actually ‘killed myself,’ in a manner of speaking, about six months ago. the previous ego, the one you befriended like three years ago, was literally completely eaten away by the stress of its associated bodily dysmorphias & then, when ‘i’ started taking shape in its place, i figured it would make you pretty sad if you found out your friend had invisibly died, so i just started miming all the previous personality constructs & behaviors when you were around. if, despite this knowledge, you still have sentimentality around of this body & that sentimentality is enough for you then we can keep being friends if you want, it just doesn’t really make any difference to me”

i've started just saying "Loved an image" in group texts with iphone users when they use the reaction thing

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

my couchsona

just got the new dog shit 2000