Catalog Living

As the fall holidays officially transition to winter ones, Gary and Elaine’s gourds are ceremoniously shown the door to wait for their Lyft.

I...I don’t know what happened. Last thing I saw was Elaine locking herself in her craft room with our entire gourd collection, a giant clam shell, a bag marked “nature stuff,” and two bottles of wine.

Elaine, we closed the windows before we left for your mother’s house, right?

This looks charming, Gary, but for the record I asked you to put the LEAF in the TABLE...

Listen Elaine, one of these is full of candy, and I’m going to keep hitting all of them with a bat until I find the right one. 

You know I love eating healthy, Elaine, but can’t we just buy bagged salad like everyone else?

Well Elaine, I tried to get your drink and magazine from the living room, but I didn’t want to interrupt the cactus staring in the mirror and whispering “I am beautiful” over and over.

Because I’m testing him, Elaine. If Santa’s the pro he claims to be he’ll see that the Christmas tree is actually the other way.

After seeing their new wallpaper and bookshelf, Gary and Elaine agreed that next time they would hire a less literal designer.

People book Gary and Elaine’s Airbnb for the prime location and clean accommodations, but what keeps them coming back is the thrill of riding a full size wicker motorcycle.

Until Pink reports back as to whether there’s a possible escape route, the other bags can only watch anxiously from their hooks as she slowly scales the ladder.

https://instagram.com/p/BLy0y3_ADc1/

Elaine, remember that huge room in that wing of the house we never use? Well I think it’s safe to say I’ve found the perfect spot for that bust your mother passed down to you.

Quoth the raven, “fall decor!”

Penny and Maxwell stared into the distance, hoping that somehow the silence would erase the embarrassment of Rufus the Dog overdoing it at the tea party once again.

Strangers assumed it was a Halloween pillow, but friends of Gary and Elaine were well aware that it was just one of their 365 pillows with a date and a bird on it.

I hope you don’t mind, Elaine, but I added a couple of photographs to the wall on your side because it was looking a little desperate.