but the moon just stared back at me

i need something gay to happen to me soon

i wish i was smart and handsome and charming and i wish i didnt feel the crushing weight of it all every second of every day . it feels like the longer im on testosterone the more the childish thoughts start again. of being in 4th grade and looking around and going I Wish i had just been born a boy. i wish i wish i wish . but im 23 and not in school and im sitting alone in my room going i wish i had just been born differently . i wish i wish i wish

i stop drawing for a long while -> i beat myself up for it -> i get the courage to make a few things -> i put those things on a pedestal and say This is as good as it can get -> i am afraid to create something worse -> i stop drawing for a long while

while the movie is incredible and the book was good i am extremely surprised they managed to make a movie out a book so ....all over the place. its good but its weirdly childish ??? if that makes sense??? im kind of surprised the author is so hugely popular. idk i just have never really read a book like that. it goes from being deadly serious to funny to childish and silly all on one page and i feel like it never really lets things sink in. the book is sooo fast. people call the movie a summary of the book but i feel like the movie had so much more time to really Feel it. yaknow