friendship is so crazy they literally invented people who are niceys to you....and you get to love and care for them........

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

He's fucking crazy

Hes fuuuucked

“Ma'am, I understand you need to empty out your desk, but–”

It has just occurred to me that OP was talking about a breakup.

No wait yours is so much more powerful

Omfg I could devour a cheeseburger right now

Why the fuck are we circulating a 43 note post from 2012

it’s time has come

The thing that’s funny and relatable about Luigi isn’t that he’s a coward, it’s that he’s a coward with no sense of scale. He reacts to literally everything with exactly the same level of oh-gee-I-dunno apprehension, whether it’s hearing a noise in a dark house at night, or coming face to face with a world-devouring horror. This is more or less the root of his self-esteem problems; he’s the universe’s second-greatest warrior and doesn’t realise it because as far as he’s concerned, being scared of a spider in the bathroom and being scared of Cthulhu are the same thing – he just totally lacks the necessary context to appreciate that managing to grit your teeth and deal with the second one is any sort of achievement. It’s all spiders in the bathroom to him. He’s equally terrified of everything, and that makes him invincible.

My favouite thing about this post is all the folks in the notes who are inexplicably in absolute denial that this could possibly be about the green dude from the Super Mario series.

Wait who the fuck is this about

The green dude from the Super Mario series.

idk why people say "sleep is for the weak" like....ok maybe to YOU.... to ME sleep is for the cozy....like stfu maybe if you went honk mimimimimi honk mimimimimi you'd calm down

And every day before and after.

sad! god made you in his image and thats why youve never been able to return a call

my brother has been criticizing me all day and he told me if i wasn’t happy i could go somewhere else so i wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s dinner so i took the massive bowl of pasta + special sauce i spent the last 2 hours making from scratch for the whole family and i left

it really is incredibly bold to mercilessly criticize the person who is not only making your dinner but also holding a knife

I sequestered myself in the other side of the house and ate my family-sized pasta from a mixing bowl using a serving spoon in the dark because the sun went down in the 2+ hours I spent stewing and I was too stubborn to turn on a light

the only person I shared my pasta with was my dad who on a conference call at the time and didn’t just stand there and watch my brother be an asshole like the rest of my family and since he came to me in my sanctuary with his bowl and asked nicely if he could have some pasta i did share with him

sometimes you’re an adult who has been quarantined with your parents, younger siblings, grandfather, and dog for the last 2 months because of a global pandemic and some nights you just have to take your pasta and Leave because you are an adult who knows when to tap the fuck out

OP thank you not only for the amazing image of you eating pasta in the dark and your father kindly pleading for your mercy but also a wonderful example of when to set firm boundaries and prioritize yourself bless u

Adulthood, elegantly expressed in a non-toxic form.

‘unreliable narrator’ but it’s ’narrator is deeply in love with the person they are narrating’

I can handle people blazing their nudes but I draw the line at Christian preachers

why shouldn't the christian preachers be able to blaze their nudes?

i think God said something about it or something

ohhh ok, i didn't realise they had camera phones back when god wrote that

yah she's like omniscient or some shit

like she lays eggs?