Casual curses

May all molesters receive life sentences in solitary confinement. 

May your room smell terrible and you cannot find the source. 

May a sack of sugar spill  across your kitchen and ants descend upon it. 

May your mousetraps never work.

May all your passwords be permanently deleted, never to be found again. 

May you search your home hours for that one item, only to find it was in its proper place the entire time. 

May your Amazon Prime order come three days late. 

May you forget to cancel your unusused monthly subscriptions for a year. 

May your favorite company stop producing your favorite brand of shampoo. 

May you discover your frozen foods are freezer burned only after heating them up.