It is bad luck to be Pompey's quaestor and it is bad luck to have me for quaestor. If I were Pompey's quaestor, we would have both died badly. Or perhaps the curses would have collided and dissipated.

Surena asked if I had with me any erotic poetry. Sight-translating De rerum natura to him.

Did you know I am a pleasure to have on the Parthian campaign? M. Licinius Crassus mentions this to me as often as never.

Sextus take the tiller.

Cicero is always saying stuff like "oh I want to orate in Gabinius" or something.

Gaius Pansa fears me for my powerful sex appeal.

There is always some manuscript corruption.

As my great-uncle used to say, you cannot spell Strabo without stab.

Just learned about the philosophical school of fujoshism, which is for some reason hugely popular with women in my life.