Blur VS Oasis: The Feud Escalates
The petty war of words between Blur and Oasis seems set to continue after Oasis recently announced a gig at London’s Earl’s Court, which will outsell Blur’s recent Mile End show. To add insult to injury, Oasis have threatened to storm the Houses Of Parliament, ‘just for a laugh’, as the gig falls on Bonfire Night.
But Blur are set to hit back, as a source close to the group told Thrills that Blur plan to play to 77,000 fans at Wembly Stadium, December 25th. “And what’s more”, he said, “as it’s Christmas Day, the boys will be delivering gifts to all the children of the world at midnight, and they’ll exclusively play their new single during the Queen’s Speech on TV." This announcement adds fuel to the rumour that Her Majesty has recorded a track with the cockney popsters.
"So what, that’s nothing!" fumed an Oasis insider when told of Blur’s plans. "Next year Oasis are going to do a gig which will take up the whole of Scotland, and they’ll spend the interval healing the sick and the lame and performing astonishing feats of illusion. Bonehead’s going to levitate!”
Blur’s insider hit back with fresh plans, telling us: “Blur will be hiring a million space shuttles and taking every one of their fans to a special show on Mars. Once they arrive, the group will build a giant dome on the surface of the planet, which their fans will be able to live safely inside forever, in a world of peace….and jellied eels.”
Oasis’ spokesman retaliated by shouting: “Yeah, well, if the lads in each group stood on each other’s shoulders, Oasis would be tallest." To which Blur’s man yelled: "Only cos there’s more of the fuckers!”
At this point, the police arrived and both men were beaten to a bloody pulp and arrested. STOP PRESS: Damon Albarn and Liam Gallagher have decided to settle the whole issue of who’s best once and for all. The pair will face each other in a medieval-style joust on a pair of giant electronic dragons. The contest will take place in Hyde Park next week, and will go to the death. Hopefully.
-Taken from NME, September 1995.
