Vida Muerta

Killian frowned, still trying to balance listening to Casey and feeding Marilyn at the same time, “If you’re still coughing up blood then you need to go back to the hospital and get some sort of treatment to stop that.” He said. It did hurt him to see the other like this, especially since he had to watch his husband go through the same trauma. “Maybe this is the wake up call you need, Case. Your life is precious and you should make the most of it, instead of doing what you do. It’s horrible having to come up with some sort of lie when Evie asks about what you do and I hope she never finds out the truth.” Killian kept his voice low, just in case his daughter was being sneaky and sitting on the stairs. “You need to quit smoking then, that’s the first point of call. As for the treatment? Well, I can pay for it.”

Hearing that Killian had to lie about his profession, to Evie..made his heart hurt immensely. Not because of the lying perse, but ..even more to do with the fact that people still thought what he did was shameful, or worth covering up.. But he got the picture.. There were things that had to change.. With a sniffle, he straightened up a bit and stared down at his lap,” I hear wot y’er sayin’ bruv’.. “ - his voice was low.. He wasn’t trying to whisper or anything like that, it was more lack of energy, mixed with a hint of uncertainty.. Going straight- ..what did that mean for him? What was there that he could possibly do..that would even relatively allow him to be himself.. Going straight.. meant being domesticated, but if he was undomesticated, then ..he’d certainly die.. 

Killian frowned as he listened, making note of all these little symptoms that were soon ringing alarm bells in his head. At first, he was worried incase it was HIV because he knew when he first contracted the virus that he fell incredibly ill and weak with what felt like the worst flu he’d ever experienced in his life. Yet, it was the mention of blood that sparked his attention and also made him realise that Evie should not be listening to this because she was far too young to know the ins and outs of this. “Evie, baby, can you leave me and Uncle Case to talk for a moment?” he asked the little girl softly, to which she started to complain but one raise of the brow from Killian and she soon was giving Casey a kiss to his head before she bounded over to her dad and threw her arms around his neck. “Go see Daddy, alright? He’ll give you a big cuddle.” He said softly, kissing Evie’s forehead, “I love you, now, off to bed.” Killian smiled warmly, and it touched his heart every time his little girl said, “I love you too, Dad.” After she scampered off to go and bother Blake, Killian looked back to Casey with a frown. “If you’re coughing up blood, there’s something wrong with your lungs.” He said slowly, “Please tell me it’s not what I think it is, Casey.”

Once Evie was gone, he slowly, and carefully drew himself up, taking in a ragged breath, as he leaned forward, catching a bad one, and coughed.. He coughed until he was raw..And blood was spattering the inside of his hand.. Which only forced him to shake as he took out a cloth he now carried with him to clean his palm, before rubbing his hand across his head and face to sooth and try and cool himself as his skin was now terribly hot,” .. I’m too bloody young for this.. “ - he muttered as he tasted the blood on his own lips,” ..I ain’t even done nothin’ with my life and I’m blinkin’ dyin’.. “ - Casey whimpered softly,” ..Serves me right.. Wastin’ my life.. “ 

As Killian listened, he could feel Marilyn becoming more restless as she woke up because she was hungry and now her nightly feed was being delayed. “Hold on, I’m still listening but I just need to fix up a bottle for this one before she explodes and has a meltdown.” He said, tiredness clear in his voice as he made his way into the kitchen. Killian noted how Casey didn’t sound his usual self, sure, the accent was still there and the slang behind it but he was usually lighthearted and full of energy. “Well, I wasn’t home a couple of hours ago because I was doing an interview but when I came back I fell straight asleep. It’s hard being both a parent and someone in the public eye, man.” He chuckled some, knowing that in reality he adored both those “jobs”. Entering the kitchen with a warm bottle now in his hand, Killian sat himself down onto the sofa opposite of Casey, holding Marilyn in his arms before he began to feed her. “Casey, I’m not an idiot. If you just wanted to be with us then you’d be here at a more sensible time, like, maybe the middle of the day so we could actually hang out?” The elder sighed, leaning into the cushions a little more to make himself and Marilyn more comfortable. “You’ve been acting weird for a while, Casey. Don’t think we haven’t noticed. You’re not as bubbly as you used to be, and sometimes it’s like you’re trying too hard to be yourself to cover up for the fact that you’re not anymore. You said you were ill, right? So, this isn’t something to just brush off like it doesn’t matter.” Clearly there was something very wrong and Killian was going to get to the bottom of it.

Upon listening to the other man, he took the opportunity to just lay back entirely, and closed his eyes, holding onto Evie as he massaged her tiny back in his, comparatively, massive hand. He couldn’t argue, he barely had the will to argue the point.. Killian knew something was up, he knew something was up.. Anybody who was smart- could tell there was something wrong with him.. Whether it was depression or what not.. He was definitely nothing like he used to be.. He wasn’t getting any business this way either.. So..What point was there to lie.. 

Killian scratched his head and yawned a little as he cradled a whinging Marilyn to his chest with one arm and had Evie clutching hold of his other hand. Walking into the living room, he nearly had a heart attack seeing Casey and almost jumped out of his skin, luckily still clutching his baby to his chest. “Jesus fucking Christ,” He said with a shake of his head (to which Evie pointed out he used a bad word). “It’s fine, Casey. Although you could have chose a better time than the middle of the night? I thought you were an intruder or something.” He huffed a little, letting go of Evie’s hand where she more than happily launched herself into Casey’s lap for a cuddle. “You can bet that she’s not gonna be sleeping for a while.” Killian sighed. “So what’s going on?”

“ I’m terribly sorry Big bruv’. I texted Blake an’ he said you wasn’t home, an’ that I could come over.. I just thought maybe you had already known.. I’m awful sorry.. “ - he was extra apologetic today, and far more low energy than he normally was.. Really, he just looked like death. The last month of hiding his condition had been terrible.. He had lost weight, he’d lost color.. Energy, the ability to eat.. He’d just lost himself..And it felt terrible. When Evie came and leapt onto him, he grunted and struggled to lift her up, before laying out on the couch, drawing her tiny little body near as he nuzzled her face,” ‘Ow’s my little Librarian ‘aye? “ - he chuckled softly,” ..I..” - at Killian’s question, he paused, trying to find the words as he laid his head out on the arm of the couch,” I just.. wanted to be nearly my family.. S’all.. I missed you guys.. “ - Large, gentle fingers combed down along Evie’s face as he turned his tired gaze on her, smiling,” You missed y’er uncle Cazzy didn’ya? “- he cooed, his eyes soft as he studied her features for a long moment,” ..Really sorry.. “ - Casey spoke again, glancing back up once more at Killian.

When your husband tells you that it’s your turn to see to the baby at two in the morning but you definitely know it’s his. And now Evie’s awake, too. Wish me luck.

I’m sorry bruv’ ..Was only comin’ ..to be near you blokes and y’er lovely little ladies.. I’m real ill - not like contagious ill.. doctor had a check me up yeah.. But I just.. I need to be near you all right now.

Dems: HURRY UP! Dems: I cnt afford 2 let any leave dis room wen u get ur ass here m8

Cazzah: i can’t cum over now mate! ur picture nearly gave me a ruddy heart attack.

Text -- Casey

Cazzah: wiv the way y’er textin’ at me now, i fancy u have.

…’aight, well. When you put it that way~

Whoa..mate. What are ye’ doin’.. ??