That's Coconuts

“Who? Do I wanna know? That’s bold, Casey. Real bold. Most of the people that I don’t like don’t even care. This is a very.. set in their ways crowd. Receptive, like, wanting to tap that ass? ‘Cause O’Connell will definitely have you covered there. He’s probably the one guy in this house who can really make yah feel desirable. Or.. one of the two. Liam is also really good at it if you wanna go and throw a flirt his way. You should let me play matchmaker. I have an eye for these sort of things.” 

“I’d have to say that guy who took offense to me suggesting him getting out more and seeing better houses than this one isn’t exactly at the top of my lift of people I want to relax around on our thrones, Ariana. Luckily I didn’t talk enough to get his name, but he should have known better. I make it clear when I’m coming at a bitch. Oh, I don’t want the sluts of the house. All the power to them, but where can my trust lie if they’re lying with everyone? I’m definitely interested in who else you have, though. Let the match game commence.” 

“I don’t know who he was either, that is what was concerning me. Oh you? Then maybe I went to the wrong place. I get directions messed up all the damn time. Are you security?”

“You could say that.”  

‘I like bright. Make it summat bright.’

“Bright, huh? That’s nice. Is that how you’d describe yourself?”

“It’s that whole ‘the youngest gets whatever they want’ thing that’s obviously stuck with us. I’m not hating it. I feel yah, I feel yah. I can see how that’d be satisfying. It’s being so undeniably desired, right? It’s such a high. Honestly, pretty much every woman in this house is a badass that you’re gonna love. I can’t think of a single one that isn’t. We really lucked out with this cast.”

“I’m already getting vibes from plenty of the people here that they weren’t blessed with our own fortunes, and I don’t know how you handle the situation, but they need to step the hell up. There’s no doubt we both have the experience if being desired. I’ll have no problem letting any of them know if I don’t end up liking them, I want those who I don’t like to know just to see if they can change my mind. So far they’re better than the men in this house, none of which are receptive.” 

“So Silver foxes aren’t a thing anymore? I was relying on that. What happened? I thought Anderson Cooper and that guy from Catfish made it a sustainable thing.”

“Believe me, I’ve had my fair share of attraction towards men like that, Gary Cole from Veep included, and there’s no doubt in my mind that you could pull it off in a heart beat. If you do go that route, I’ll guide you to the right stylist.” 

“Dibs on what? What do you mean by older guys? We’re not talking Richard Gere old here, right?” 

“It’s what I say to those that I know are going to be a keeper in this house, just trust me on that. It’s weird for me to say this, but I think I can confirm that Richard Gere won’t be getting it. You can say all of the old slang terms you want as long as your hair doesn’t turn as silver as his. Blinding is tacky.” 

“After twenty or thirty years of it, I don’t think I can stop. My kid’s probably setting up a swear jar for it right now so that by the time I get back I owe her a Lamborghini.”

“I could set up a jar as well, but money isn’t at all what I’d want from you. Can’t have that much fun with it, not like the other ways I can. It must just be a soft spot in me for older guys. Since you’re new, though, I better welcome you to the house properly. It starts with dibs.” 

“Pact right now not to fight over any of them. And proposition to allow dibs. No matter how annoying those are.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Mads. Just so we make sure to get all of the rules out, I say if any of them is interested in one of us but the other already called dibs, we forget them.. Obviously they’re a dumb bitch.” 

“You’re the youngest in yours, too? The vibes are real. I think that definitely stuck with us growing up, then. It can’t just be a coincidence. Ohh, so you like being an exception, huh? Same. There’s something incomparable to feeling like you exceed rules. I won’t let you fall for anyone not worthy either, though. I’m a really good screener. Ask my girls.”

“Young, but never sprung. It made us better than everyone around, so I’m living with no regrets over it. That’s exactly what I like, actually, but what I really enjoy is knowing they couldn’t fight it once I came along. I get foreplay out of them trying to say they aren’t like me just for them to agree they are. I’ll be talking to your girls plenty, especially now that I’m a part of them.” 

“Get uhm, Boy. I’m like that, too. But in my defense, I was the youngest child in my fam and the only girl, so that was a double whammy of entitlement. I’m greedier than the cookie monster when it comes to love. Or, yah know, anything that resembles it even in the slightest. But, okay, if O'Connell isn’t your type.. who is?”

“I couldn’t be less surprised that we have so much in common. Two rulers are at the top of the pole for a reason. You and I grew up the exact same way, girl. Being the youngest has always given me my advantages. I won’t let you go falling in love with just anybody, though, it’s my duty now to watch out for that. My type? Well, you know, my favorite is when a guy swears he’s not into men but can’t resist me. That’s been some of my more fun experiences. They can lie to themselves, but not to me.”