utopia;

A famous meme maybe.

Memes are hilarious. But don't worry, vending machine guy, I'm pretty sure no one actually recorded it.

I don’t even watch it, to be honest. Hot guys or not, it’s not worth those 91 minutes. I can do so much more during that time.

It's not for everyone, I guess. But it can be fun to watch sometimes.

And what exactly is so funny?

And thus experience the pain of crushed nuts. 

Yeah well, he deserved it.

That’d be terrible though. I do not want to be the next target of internet humor. 

But you would be famous!

If a homeless guy grabbed my ass? Probably beat him to death. 

Lucky you. It's disgusting.

And here I thought I was going to get some sort of speech from you about turning it down.

You're lucky I'm in a good mood. Sort of.

No biggie if it’s only sometimes. 

Aha, only when I need to be.

Stealing from the homeless is kind of an oxymoron in itself, isn’t it? Huh, well, you’re much kinder than I would’ve been. 

What would you have done?

Well, I just hope the neighbours enjoy Ed Sheeran’s new album, because that’s the only thing they’re going to be hearing for the next week or so.

Ed Sheeran is a God and I think that's the only thing we can agree on.

Why so nosey?

Well, excuse me for trying to have a conversation with you. Whatever.

I don’t know. I don’t know you. For all I knew you could’ve been one of those bitch queens who do look for that in a person. 

Well, I'm not...I think. Eh, maybe sometimes.

Hobos can have wallets. Are you discriminating against the homeless, Caroline? Fuck, I thought you were better than that.

I'm not discriminating, Kurt. But think about it this way; stealing from the homeless would be completly inhumane. A kick in the balls and a punch in the face was more than enough. He got what he deserved, I wasn't going to let him walk away just like that.

Congratulations, Sherlock. You want a medal for that spot on observation?

Geez, looks like someone needs a happy meal. Why so grumpy?

Right? It's the only reason why I'm watching the World Cup.

…Yikes. 

Exactly. Some men just don't know their limits.

It’s okay, I’m okay… I don’t even know where that vending machine came from.

I hope some recorded it so they can upload it to YouTube. It would go viral.