What Is Dead May Never Die

Ghost just wanted to make her happy. If she told him to jump, he would, specially when she was vulnerable like this, when she looked heartbroken about whatever had clouded her mind. The question brought his steps to a full stop as he considered it for a moment, but there was no doubt he’d go wherever she wanted to go.

He didn’t know what that meant, if she just didn’t want to be at her home, or if she wanted something else. He just wanted to distract her. “Why yes, of course,” he replied, tightening his arm around her and taking a turn towards his place, as if that had been the plan all along. Luckily, they hadn’t moved very far from it anyway, for their little date. “I have some drinks at mine, if you want. The magical stuff.”

“I might just take you up on that,” she drawled, leaning her head against his arm as they walked. His calm, steady presence was reassuring to her, taking the edge off the sharp pain she had felt when looking at the little girl. The idea of alcohol that would actually work on her was still appealing though. 

She didn’t want to be this vulnerable mess whom he treated gently. She was not that woman, not a victim. Her memories and her past did not have that power over her. 

She trailed her hand down his arm until it reached his own hand. Fingers slipped between his, but the sweet gesture held a touch of something else as she traced her fingers over his palm. “I might want a lot of things,” she murmured, voice turned husky.

There was so much to Caro’s life that Rayn still didn’t know. The woman had pulled the younger vampire out of a very terrible situation and if it hadn’t been for her Rayn wasn;t sure where she would be now. That still didn’t mean that she had to know everything about the other woman’s life. She had pieced together some thing’s and she understood why her friend was as serious as she was about Rayn’s need to reconnect to her family. The situation might not turn into the shiny happy reunion she wanted. Rayn knew she had to be careful to prevent that. 

“ I know that. It’s why I waited so long to make sure I was going to be okay around her. I know it seems soon at the same time, but I cannot miss anymore of her firsts in life because I’m scared. I’ve never been the type to ditch other’s so that will never happen. Her father on the other hand that could be a problem. He was the one who left in the first place”

“The only person you can control is yourself,” Caroline said reassuringly. “One can never depend on men anyway.” Most men. There was at least one Caroline felt she could trust, but that was beside the point. Her continued insistence on not relying on anyone had gotten her this far, after all. And Rayn would have a long life of disappointments if she didn’t learn that lesson soon. 

“Yeah? Have you gotten up to Tom Fords yet or still making Ray-Bans money?” Percy grinned before running a hand over his jaw, “I’ve got a job. A nice honest living as the mayor’s speech writer, nothing too fancy. You know how I like to fly under the radar.” Half true and half patently false. “His previous writer…poor guy, went to celebrate New Year’s and, well, we all know what happened there.” It was sad as much as death could be to some, but it had been an opportunity for Percy to step in so he couldn’t complain. It wasn’t like he knew the guy. @caroline-bissett 

Beatrix nodded, “Very true, although, the last time I bought a pair of sunglasses it wasn’t that simple,” She commented with a chuckle. “I researched so many pairs, making sure I was getting some for a good price with high UV protection. And ones that were durable. They were for my daughter though, I suppose that’s just being a mum. My sunglasses I got from a lost and found box at work.” 

Bea couldn’t help but get the impression that the other woman was a little rattled, and got the feeling that her intrusion on the woman’s private moment might have something to do with it. “At least it isn’t meant to be sunny today, according to today’s forecast anyway,” Beatrix replied with a small shrug. The woman said she was alright, and even though she clearly wasn’t Bea wasn’t about to force a stranger to open up. 

“Thank goodness for small favours,” Caroline replied, not sure why she was continuing the conversation. Probably because it was mindless enough that she didn’t have to think about it, but enough that it kept her from thinking about other things. “Though we are in one of the centers of commerce. I’m sure if need be I could find a replacement pair quite easily.” 

          He hadn’t intended to have still been looking at her when she raised her gaze, but his thoughts had been so caught up in the scene that not even his supernatural reflex could not have avoided that awkward encounter of stares. At first, he was just as invested in that mother-daughter interaction as she seemed to be, the melodic sound of jovial French being spoken nearby brought along a myriad of memories that demanded he paid attention to whoever could be emitting such a pleasant sound. But he heard the sound of glass shattering, and his eyes immediately darted away from the pair that ventured out into the concrete jungle that was Manhattan. Had that enraged her? A mother caring for her daughter? Or did that bring along as many memories as it did him? He knew her, he noticed. They had never been formally introduced, but Rowan knew she was a vampire, Camila, or Caroline, he couldn’t recall, but he had known of her existence, just as he did of most vampires in New York City, especially the elder ones. After all, it’s difficult to go unnoticed when you’re a centuries-old, immutable creature that feeds off blood and oozes magical energy.

          After their gazes met, he looked down at the shattered shades in her hand and back at her, as if questioning if everything was all right, brows in a sympathetic arch and eyes narrow in an innocent inquiry. “You okay?” He finally questioned, but to the world, it sounded like “Est-ce que vous allez bien?”

She knew him. Everyone knew the Originals, if only as a matter of self preservation. Who to avoid. Who not to piss off. And Caroline hadn’t survived this far without any knowledge of the hierarchy of her world. 

The sympathy was unexpected. Unwanted as well, but mostly unexpected. What did he care about some sunglasses snapped as memories assailed her, causing her hands to tighten, her muscles to clench. Plastic snapping like bones. 

if it were anyone else, she’d brush them off, or at least be better able to. But she didn’t want to make the Original mad. “I’m fine,” she replied in English, not wanting to speak further in the language of her first life. There was no comfort in it, not in this moment. “Thank you,” she added, nodding towards him. Her face was a polite mask, eyes shuttered, smile pleasant if forced. 

Rayn had a tendency to spend most of her time worrying in the past about who she would hurt. She analyzed it to the point here they became full blown anxieties and turned her into somewhat of a homebody. She was often too scared to do what she knew she should have to make her immortality and therefor life better. Rayn knew there were no promises that everything would be okay but she wanted it. She wanted to stop hiding and pretending that her life wasn’t passing her by. If she waited any longer, she didn’t know how long it’d be till she saw her daughter again. Would she be an adult and have no interest in what had happened to her own mother? She couldn’t take that chance. 

“ Nostalgia must affect everyone differently” Rayn replied with a gentle smile towards her friend. She knew it didn’t seem like the most positive of nostalgic moments but she didn’t want to pry too much over it. She wanted to have it acknowledged she saw that but didn’t want to make a big deal of it. 

At Caro’s words Rayn nodded and while in the past she felt her resolve start to waver, this time she knew she still wanted this more than ever. She was scared but she didn’t want to waste an more time. “ I wont leave again. I don’t want to be that person for her. I feel like she’s under the impression I left because I didn’t love her. When really she was the one who was taken. I know it’s always a risk, but I don’t want to waste anymore time. I don’t want to never get to see her grow up and then have her hate me for it”

She appreciated that Rayn did not pry. Their situations would be comparable had Caroline’s children lived. But as it stood, they were not, and Rayn could not know the effects Caroline’s guilt nostalgia had on her. But it was why she was so determined to help the younger vampire. Why she had taken her under her wing. Caroline hadn’t had that privilege, the luxury of being taught by someone who understood. She had made sure Rayn hadn’t had to endure what she did. The trials the young mother had suffered through were already bad enough. 

“Well then you know what you have to do,” she said, her tone firm, but kind. “Failure is not an option, though,” said, some of her affection leaving her voice as she fixed Rayn with a fierce look. “Once you come back into her life, there’s no going back.” She needed to be sure, and she needed Rayn to be even more so.

The touch was more of a comfort than Caro knew–long ago had society seemed to abandon the idea of touching people they cared for outside of the romantic which left the woman feeling a little touch isolated at times. Her grip on her friend’s hands tightened and she smiled fondly as she listened. It was both simple and complicated, as she said. In truth, the situation played out just so, with Josefine white-knuckling her sense of control despite the way the monster screamed to be let off its leash and sent darting towards the object of her affections. It would have been more than she could bear, but it hadn’t happened. She didn’t want to hurt him, and so she didn’t. Frustratingly simple.

It was then she realized the other woman had gone somewhere else, however briefly. Josefine waited a moment, not wanting to startle her, then squeezed her hands lightly. “Hey,” she said softly, her head dipping in an attempt to meet her friend’s gaze. “Are you okay?”

Caroline looked up again, meeting Josefine’s eyes. She read the concern in her friend’s gaze and had to fight not to pull away. She could tell Josefine appreciated the comfort, but Caro did not like when their situations were reversed. She didn’t want to hurt Josefine further, though. 

Instead, she gave her friend a weak smile. “Just memories of my own,” she replied. Caro didn’t want to tell Josefine of her own failures, not only because of her shame, but to do so would create doubt in Josefine’s mind of her own abilities to control herself. Caro didn’t want that. She wanted Josefine to be confident in herself, and not question whether she could keep her monster leashed. Even if Caroline had essentially not been conscious, her mind not present for the crimes her newly turned body had committed, she was still responsible. A monster of the highest order. 

“They’re not important, just ghosts of the past and all that,” she said, squeezing Josefine’s hand again in reassurance. “We can work on different methods of control or distraction if you’d like. If that would help,” she suggested. 

“I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Elise had never been good at making decisions. She preferred to have others tell her what to do. Now, she had to decide something for herself and it seemed like one of the most difficult things she’d ever done. “I want this to be the stopping point, but a part of me doesn’t want to walk past those shoes without buying them.” 

“Well will you regret not buying them? Will you think longingly of this pair? Dream of them? Wish that you had decided to walk into this shop, and out in the shoes?” She was being more whimsical than anything now, her tone taking on a dreamy, hypnotic quality. “Or will you shrug and move on and not really think about them again? Life is too short to live with regrets, darling.” 

“That was unnecessarily aggressive,” he said, a bite to his words. The whole situation amused him, appearing to be a dramatic reaction. “Is this what you do in your free time? Break sunglasses?” 

“Well I hardly think it’s any of your business,” Caroline replied, a sharp undertone in her words to match his. “I didn’t hurt anyone, nor did I damage anything that matters to anyone else.” She raised an eyebrow at the dark haired boy. “Though if you have other questions about my free time, I’d be happy to answer,” she said, turning sultry. Mostly to throw him off balance. Snark and sexiness, all to hide the slight nausea and sourness in her mouth that tasted like regret.

“No one’s asking you to stay here,” Sakar sighed irritably, only matching the vampire’s gaze with their own cold stare. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” they mused before waving their hand tiredly. “If you care so much, then talk about whatever you want. I’m not here to entertain you, and frankly, the insipid masses sound less of torture than being here with you. So, tell me of you interesting topics,” the oneiroi joked, though it was laced with flatness in their tone.

“You’re the one who said I was preferable, if only mildly,” she reminded him, brushing his cheek with a flower petal. She was a pest when it came to Sakar. She had to match his rude flatness with her own sharp wit and her talent for getting under his own skin. “Now tell me what it is you are doing here then. If you can manage to stop talking about me for a minute.” 

                    “Precisely that,” she crooned in response, gesturing to the man that continued to play despite the myriad of protests from the subway’s passengers. “Do you think he’ll ever get the hint and stop?” Not that everyone wasn’t already being blatantly obvious about their distaste, Beth’s countenance cemented in a perpetual scowl. 

“I think that if he hasn’t gotten it by now, he never will,” Caroline said with something akin to a sneer of derision as she looked in his direction. New Yorkers were not exactly subtle about their feelings. They didn’t hide their opinions. “I wouldn’t be surprised if someone throws something next to get the point across.” 

Ghost only put her down when he absolutely had to, because unfortunately he did have to use his hands to search for the keys to his apartment, but it was only a moment between letting her down, opening the door, and pulling her into a kiss like he’d wanted to do since they saw each other. “You know I enjoy a fair combination of the two,” he groaned, not bothering to look anywhere but her as he left the bag of cupcakes on some table, closed the door, and pulled her back into another kiss, hand sinking into her hair.

When he lowered her, Caroline slid down Ghost’s body, keeping them close--as if he would let her do anything else at this point. Pulled into his apartment and against him, she sunk into his embrace and his kiss. Her mouth opened beneath his, as much an invitation as a greeting. 

“You won’t find me complaining.” The cupcakes dropped unheeded from his hands. They were already forgotten by Caro, their purpose accomplished. She had wanted to tease Ghost and she had. When he kissed her again, it was with hunger which Caroline reciprocated. One of her hands slid up his chest, his strong, corded neck, to rest against his cheek. The other fisted in the fabric of his shirt by his waist.