in the garden;

I tried to be human once and I didn‘t enjoy the experience whatsoever

so imagine you're journalist daniel malloy. you've interviewed the vampire or whatever and you're like Wow! how exhausting. but you've got to still find work (god bless) and so you go out on the job hunt for more fun journalism jobs. and you're like hey, i've already interviewed one vampire, why not keep the gig going while its good . and so you start contacting who you know and eventually you find a vampire willing. and also maybe they're looking for a documentary vibe ? so you're like yeah whatever and you get the camera crews and shit. so you make the pilgrimage to this vampires state of residence and you've got you're little camera crew and journalist notepad and shit and you walk up to his house and you walk up the steps and you open the door and he says hello my name is nandor the re

Gosh I just love book Legolas. He's immortal. He's a teenager. Elrond picks him instead of Glorfindel because he's average and won't draw attention to the Fellowship. He's the comic relief guy and resident Little Shit, but he can also shoot a Nazgul out of the sky in the pitch black like a one-man elf anti-aircraft defense system. He wants everyone to know that he's, like, really old. He forgets the task at hand because he wants to look at trees. His greatest qualities are that he can become friends with anyone and his loyalty is unending. He shows up to Valinor a century late with Starbucks in hand and his dwarf bestie at his side. Iconic.