The Adventures of Captain Kit.

hello allo person in a fandom. let’s play a game. in front of you are two characters. your challenge is to okay and you’ve already started shipping them. well the crusher machine is going to activate now goodbye.

your life is not an optimization problem

as in you'll never achieve the perfect daily routine, sleep schedule, coping mechanisms, mannerisms, fashion sense etc. even after years and years of healing and improvement and self-discovery. you will never be so good at life that you manage to utilize every waking moment. its great to be productive and all but sometimes you'll suck ass. sometimes you'll take eight hours to be done with a twenty minute job. you'll prioritize the wrong thing. you'll sleep for 12 hrs just to avoid being awake. you'll relapse. and you'll relapse again. you'll forget to turn in the assignment. you'll order too little food. life is far too large and complex for you to even experience it completely, much less try to make sense of and control it. you can't. please give up on that and be at peace with the hours you lose. they are not separate from your life.

I've reached the point where cynicism is a major turn-off for me. You're not smarter than idealists, and you're not helping.

Funny that the stereotypical cynic is an idealist who aged out of it. In my experience, the reverse is true. I was an extreme cynic as a teenager and then I noticed how profoundly limiting it was, and also that "cynics are cool and smart" was a message that was being constantly reinforced by corporate media for some reason.

This is such a "common sense" way of putting it. Everybody memorize this for spitting it back out whenever needed.

Never thought I'd have the opportunity to say this again: Reducing women and girls to their vaginas and then forcing them to show those vaginas to strangers is not a feminist ideal.

Analyzing the politics of a work that's meant to be apolitical is actually a really interesting exercise because it asks you to critically examine what the creator considers to be "political" in the first place. Which ideas are just How Things Are, and which ones are Political, and how is that influenced by the creator's beliefs?

Usually this just ends up with you looking like a moron btw

Angrily lashing out at the suggestion that it's possible to do basic media analysis was foundational to the ragebait ecosystem of the 2010s, from which we got basically the entire culture of modern far right politics, btw.

I genuinely believe myself and others are being so sincere and literal when we say TOUCH GRASS

I went outside and got an education, that's where I learned that you can obtain knowledge and insight through analytical methods, then noticed that some people who sit on the internet yelling at strangers get really mad about that constantly.

also sorry i just don't find the trope of "woman who hates men learns to love men again because she met one really sweet dude" very compelling. at best i think it's boring and eye-rolling wish fulfillment for people who never got over their lesbian crush and at worst i think it's actively and purposefully misogynistic

ESPECIALLY when its meant to be "fluffy" like sorryyyyy i just don't think Woman Learns Her Place In Society is a very cutesy sweet trope

(dry look) Nobody gets to tell me when to cringe. I reserve such assessments to those who have sufficient experience to correctly judge what’s cringeworthy.

You can begin this process at any time, regardless of how old you have become.

fiction can be really dangerous there might be a deeply tragic woman in there who starts living in your head forever

Tapping the sign again! Heteronormative and heterosexual mean two different things!!!

okay well then I'm completely lost

I still kind of think that in fiction where the world has a pantheon of multiple gods including some who are believed to be or implied to be or definitely are hostile to the characters the piece follows it doesn't make any sense to replace moments where many people in our more usually monotheistic world would say "God" as an oath with "gods" because invoking any or all of the gods indiscriminately sounds like a dumb thing to do if some of them have beef with you. You're just asking for trouble doing that. Now if people commonly move through the world without having beef with any of the gods, sure, maybe language would evolve such that people would just casually swear by all of them, but once you have active beef maybe you need to join the cult for your favorite and start invoking that one specifically. Or just say "zounds." One of them has definitely been injured at some point. Possibly the one who is after you, though.

if you have a problem with any of the fictional pairings that i enjoy on the internet, for the low cost of $9,000 you can pay me to care about what you think

Price doubles if you want me to pretend I’m swayed by your opinion.

A frustrating part of the mainstream vegan “love all animals and protect the environment” mindset is the fact that things need to die in real-life ecology all the time but deer hunting season makes icky feelings and carp culls aren’t cottagecore

"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off