I Pledge Allegiance to That Ass...

@captain-assmurica

You should follow me for my tags alone. It is where i like to share my thoughts and pretend im funny (I'm actualy funny so you should follow me) my posts are tagged under /myposts, my favourite posts are under /fave, if you need a pick me up check out /cute, and if you feel the need my face is under /me or /myface - Em _____ My playlist

77K posts

Posts

seatrench

Aracana ornata, Ornate Cowfish

(source)

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americas-sass

How to Write a Michael Schur Lead Romance

Partner 1: Confident, Fun, Slightly Depressed

Partner 2: Anxiety™

Partner 1 provides the light atmosphere, Partner 2 provides the level head. Congrats, you have the perfect lead couple.

BONUS:

How to Write a Michael Schur Secondary Romance: Abnormal Dork Meets Equally Abnormal Dork

laerugo

older sibling privilege is finding this bit of the special hilarious while your younger sibling watches it without cracking a smile once

eroscestlavie

i mean he’s not wrong though so

topmeladies

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen goodnight

just-shower-thoughts

Flipping your dog’s ear back down is the equivalent of tucking your friends tag back in their shirt.

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kingjaffejoffer

ruinedchildhood

mapsontheweb

America: How many counties, or county equivalents, are you away from your state capital?

fairytrainer

the most iconic minute in tv history (x)

chrisintegration-deactivated202

i understand and agree with millie bobbie brown now

insomniac-arrest

I think schools need to emphasize more that they aren’t teaching specific facts but rather skill sets

are you gonna remember your algebra formulas ten years from now? Probably not. Are you going to be able to use basic logic to solve problems? Well hopefully with some solid logic practice, such as math, yeah!

did Shakespeare really mean that all of the themes of dark and light in his plays indicated internal struggle and opposing forces? Who knows! Is the ability to critically analyze a piece of writing and see larger trends and symbols useful? Hell yes!

Schools should really be upfront with students that no, this isn’t going to be wholly applicable, but any amount of school will develop your self-discipline and overall versatility- and that’s a good thing

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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mellifexfarm

whats the best way to trim the crest+beard of a silkie? this lady can barely see with all that floof!

mellifexfarm

apparently some people use little headbands to keep the fluff out of their eyes

lord-kitschener

80s chickens

yemenitehole

yo im late but when i first got my polish frizzle bantams years ago from their breeder their crests were up to keep them out of the mud (because they’re show birds) and the result was amazing

chef hats/make-up brush hair

mellifexfarm

i love them thank you for the advice

draconym

mellifexfarm

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

clickthefrog

I had to Google what frizzles looked like normally and

soldierwinters

“I’m gonna need Mr. Drake’s property back.” - Venom (2018)

boogedyboogedyboo

breath-goes-in

“hellroo” ???

witch-niko

This is so cute that my friend cried when I showed it to her

brucebanners-deactivated2019042

digivolvin

elizabeth swan and will turner are actually SO romance in the first movie and not enough people acknowledged this because the early 2000s were the age of the edgelords who only valued jack sparrow’s moral ambiguity and that is the TRUTH

digivolvin

the part where she’s like “how many times do i have to tell you to call me elizabeth” and he shyly says “once more, miss swann” and once she walks away he gazes adoringly after her and whispers “elizabeth” to himself like he’s unworthy of it

digivolvin

then when he’s patching up the cut on her hand and she flinches and he says “i know, blacksmith’s hands… they’re rough” because he thinks that’s what’s bothering her HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WORTHY OF HER!!! THAT’S THE PINING I’M TALKING ABOUT BINCH!!! I DON’T ACCEPT LESS!!!!

digivolvin

he has like 10 chances to confess his love to her but waits until he’s dressed like this to do it:

my man knows 1) the importance of a good outfit when shooting your shot 2) how to ACCESSORIZE. take NOTES.

thedevilsofficialblog

That’s how I would dress if I was gonna confess my undying love to Kiera knightley

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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ruinedchildhood