Sorry mom

“Your first love is an illusion. You throw all these concepts and attach them to a person. And everyone after them will never measure up. This is because your first love has no expectations. You enter that relationship blind and naive. You love them unconditionally and give them your whole heart because you don’t know any better. And that is why it’s devastating when they leave, because we haven’t experienced the pain that follows their departure.”

“a piece of me still loves you, a part of me still holds onto us. unable to let go, unable to clear my mind of you. unable to peel off your name that’s engraved in my heart and the heaviness that follows with every letter that falls all the memories and all the laughter. All the love. Not wanting to cut the cord that connects me with you Not wanting to forget the way you used to look at me and the butterflies that made it hard to breathe but helped me learn to fly again. Not willing to let go of the map that leads to you cause our paths were meant to intersect I ran in the opposite direction but Everything leads back to you, and the way you kissed me that night. My first kiss, my first love. More than anything wanting you to be my last. But this time seems like the last, I need to let you go because you already did you are not there you are not here and I need to remind my heart that you are not mine anymore.”