expecto patronum

lay me down; jaidan & alfie

Alfie’s throat tightened as his boyfriend’s voice cracked, wishing desperately he could take the pain away and hating that Jaidan blamed himself. “No,” He murmured while placing a light kiss to the back of his head, his hand resting on his arms so he could caress him softly with his finger tips. “This wasn’t your fault, love. What Finn did was unforgivable and just not right. You didn’t deserve that,” He whispered before placing another kiss to his hair. “Don’t thank me. I choose you over him any day. I would’ve done worse if I could,” He fell silent for a moment and continued to gently rub his boyfriend’s arm. “I should’ve been there,” He said tightly, guilt overcoming him. “I could’ve stopped him. I could’ve done something, at least.” Alfie didn’t know how to bring up what Benji told him. He didn’t want to force the topic, but he wanted to reassure Jaidan that there was nothing wrong with him and it was alright to be himself. “I’m so sorry, love,” He repeated quietly, his voice cracking a bit as he nuzzled his face in to his hair. 

Even though a small part of Jaidan knew that Alfie was right by saying it wasn’t his fault, the majority of him couldn’t help but think otherwise. He knew that this was who he was supposed to be, truly, but Jaidan also knew that if he hadn’t pushed so hard to be the person he was, none of this would’ve happened. “It is my fault,” he insisted, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling of Alfie trying to comfort him, trying to assure him that the blame was all down to Finn and that he was innocent in the whole situation. He didn’t believe that. “If I hadn’t been — if I wasn’t such a freak, things would be okay, but I had to convince myself that I’d be okay like this if I let myself have it. How stupid of me.” Jaidan sucked in a shaky breath of air as he pressed his face into one of the pillows. “The only good thing I got out of being Jaidan was you, but... I’m not him. I was never supposed to be him in the first place.”

lay me down; jaidan & alfie

Alfie rubbed at his tired eyes as he leaned against the cold castle wall. Benji’s news continued to run through his mind over and over again, his heart aching for Jaidan. He couldn’t blame him for believing that reverting to Alina was the best decision, but he knew Jaidan wold regret it if he followed through. He wished desperately he could go in and comfort him. Earlier in the week, he basically dumped Finn in front of the entire Great Hall, calling him everything from disgusting to the most vile thing to walk on earth. Needless to say, Finn was scarce around the castle lately, but he didn’t feel any better. Alfie jumped when the wall suddenly appeared, unable to process that he was finally being let in. Jumping to his feet, he entered the room and immediately spotted his boyfriend in a pillow pile. Silently, he padded over to him and settled down behind him, running a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, love,” He murmured quietly. “I love you so much, just know that, alright?”

Jaidan knew that the second he let Alfie in, the boy would be there. It was a thing that he’d learned, that Alfie cared about him a lot more than the boy had initially presumed he ever would, and that caring was enough to make Jaidan know that letting Alfie n was the right decision. He heard the movement behind him, the sound of the door shutting securely as Alfie made his way over to him and pressed up against his back. The touch was comforting, even though Jaidan felt like he should be pulling away, curling into a ball of his own and making sure that Alfie didn’t touch his messed-up self. “It’s all my fault,” he finally murmured, voice cracking in response to Alfie’s words. He knew that the boy loved him, he really did, but that didn’t stop him from knowing just how stupid he’d been to think that he could live the way he wanted and not face the consequences. “I — Benji told me what you did about...him. Thank you.” Jaidan wanted to turn around and bury his face into Alfie’s chest, but he couldn’t convince himself to do that, not when he felt so conflicted at the boy’s touch.

pretty lies | finn & jaidan; ft: benji

Benji took a careful step back when he realized he startled Jaidan. It physically hurt them to see him so panicked. Benji never thought anyone would find out about Jaidan, there wasn’t a reason for anyone to know, but there was a huge crowd swarmed around them, eyes wide as they observed the scene. Benji knew they had to get them away from Jaidan, so he could have some space. “Fuck off,” They shouted, moving towards the crowd and pushing some people out of the way. “Don’t pay him any mind, this isn’t your business,” They tried. Some people seemed to break out of their shock and led their friends away from the scene, but a handful of people were still gawking at their brother. It was enough to get Jaidan away though. “C’mon, Jaidan,” Benji murmured, gently placing an elbow on his back to lead him through the clearing, making an effort to glare at anyone who was still staring at him. 

Benji’s attempt to get people to leave snapped Jaidan out of his tense, frozen state. He wrapped the cloak securely around himself, ducking his head to keep from meeting the curious stares that were mixed with laughter and pity from his fellow students. He tried not to see them, but that didn’t stop him from seeing them when he closed his eyes. The feeling of Benji’s elbow on his back had Jaidan jolting away from the touch and he looked up just enough to see the clear path ahead before he pulled the cloak tighter around himself and ran. Jaidan had no idea where he was going, but he needed to get somewhere out of sight, somewhere where people wouldn’t find him to ask nosy questions and pry into something that wasn’t theirs to know. The Room of Requirement was the obvious choice, but it required a method to it, a process of pacing back and forth thinking of the thing you needed and Jaidan didn’t have that kind of calm right now. He ran, trying to escape up the stairs to a corridor that wasn’t filled with students, one where he could lock himself in an empty classroom or an unused broom closet. At this point, Jaidan didn’t even care that he’d left his wand behind with the tattered pile of fabric, just that he needed to be somewhere where no one else was around; somewhere he could properly break down.

pretty lies | finn & jaidan; ft: benji

Benji frowned in confusion as everyone seemed to be heading towards the Room of Requirement, hushed whispers and gasps coming from around the corner. Curious, they pushed through the crowd and stopped dead when they saw their brother’s tattered trousers fall to the floor. Dread filled their stomach, their eyes filling with tears for their brother’s sake. When they saw Finn standing in front of their brother, wand pointed at him, Benji didn’t think twice before pulling their own out and shouting “Stupefy!” The spell hit Finn directly in the back, causing the Gryffindor to crumple to the ground. They elbowed someone out of the way, muttering “move” under their breath before hesitantly moving towards Jaidan. “Jaidan,” they breathed, unclasping their cloak as they slid it off their shoulders. “Take my cloak.”  

The panic that had Jaidan frozen in place was enough to keep him from fully reacting to the sight of Finn being stunned. The part of him that normally would feel relief at the action was lost to the knowledge that he was surrounded by fellow students who were staring at him, mocking him and spreading the truth that he’d hoped would forever stay nothing more than a rumour around to each other. He couldn’t imagine what they were saying, but when he felt a presence by his side, heard words being spoken to him, Jaidan froze up and backed away from the presence. “Don’ttouchme,” he rushed, words a jumbled mess until he realised that it was Benji offering him his cloak. Jaidan took it with a shaky hand, wrapping the fabric around himself to cover up his naked bottom half. before his gaze darted around, trying to plan an escape.

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

Before he could even have a moment to respond to Finn’s words, the boy’s spells were taking effect. Jaidan desperately tried to grab at the clothing before it got torn to bits, but the fabric slipped from his grip and the panic hit harder, overwhelming him. He couldn’t do this, this couldn’t happen here of all places, and with everyone watching— The Slytherin’s wand slipped from his hand as he tried to cover himself, doing his best to stop anyone seeing the truth as uneven breaths escaped his lips. He needed to get out of there, needed to pick up his wand and accio a pair of pants to him to try and maintain some dignity, but the only thing going through his mind as he was frozen in place was the repeated thoughts of ‘They know. They all know.’ Jaidan couldn’t move, not in this state, and definitely not with Finn’s smug face lording over him with the knowledge that he’d spread his deepest secret to the entire school.

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

pretty lies | finn & jaidan

life imitating art | poppy & lavalet

Burying his face in Jaidan’s neck, Alfie let out a breathy moan. Fucking Jaidan in the locker room, where anyone could walk in any minute, reminded him of fifth year when everything was still new and dangerous. Every time with Jaidan was bloody brilliant, but there was something about hurried, rough sex that drove him mad. “Not planning on it,” He mumbled before pulling back to give him a bruising kiss, pushing his tongue messily between his lips. Alfie made sure Jaidan was steady before thrusting in to him harder, the lockers creaking loudly from the impact. “Anyone could hear,” He whispered against his lips as he rolled his hips at a brutal pace, sweat beginning to pool at his forehead. 

This was exactly what Jaidan needed, what he craved. He was high off of the feeling of Alfie fucking him, and the metal digging into his back only encouraged his desire. He was always interested in the rough sex, the kinky things; when it was hard and hurt, that was what turned Jaidan on the most. The problem with having rough locker room sex was that anyone could come in, and if they did, they could learn Jaidan's secret. That wasn't the boy wanted, but at the moment, he didn't care. "Good," Jaidan breathed out just before Alfie kissed him. The boy responded with eagerness, pressing hard in response to the kiss, desiring intensity to the point where he could taste blood in his mouth at the end of it. Jaidan broke the kiss to moan at the feeling of Alfie fucking him roughly, because the pleasure that he was experiencing was amazing, almost better than usual. "Let them," he breathed out, not even bothering to try and keep his voice down as his head rolled back into the locker. "I don't bloody care who hears, just keep this up, make me come." The rough, fast-paced rhythm was exactly what Jaidan needed right now, and if Alfie kept this up, the boy knew he'd hit orgasm a lot quicker than usual.

"Just wanted to make sure you’re ready, babe," Alfie panted, eyes fluttering as Jaidan mouthed at his jaw. "Get your feet out," He instructed as he nudged his boyfriend’s trousers and pants down further, kicking them to the side once they were off. Dipping down, he nipped at Jaidan’s collarbone and sucked the skin between his teeth. He tugged down his own pants and grabbed Jaidan’s thighs. "Hold on," He murmured before lifting him up and pressing him in to the lockers. Pushing his hips forward, he held Jaidan up as he gripped his cock and guided himself inside. Alfie shivered with a tight groan as he felt Jaidan surround him. "You okay, love?" He asked breathlessly, while pressing messy kisses to his neck. 

"Always ready for you," Jaidan breathed out, tilting his head back as a moan built up in the back of his throat. He was almost lost in the moment, and if it weren't for Alfie's statement, he might not have even thought about stepping out of the pool of fabric around his ankles. Jaidan quickly manoeuvred out of the pants and boxers, chuckling slightly when Alfie kicked them aside. "Gonna need those after, you know," he mumbled before getting completely lost in the feeling of Alfie marking himself on Jaidan's collarbone. The second Alfie secured his grip on Jaidan's thighs, the boy hooked his arms securely around the back of his boyfriend's neck, keeping his grip in place for counterbalance as he was pushed back into the lockers. Moments like these reminded Jaidan of how much he'd loved when they'd first started hooking up in these rooms, the feeling of metal scraping against his back and leaving scratches that would remind him of Alfie, and the occasional cut that would come from being pushed back into the open metal slots. He let out a noise of desire the second that Alfie pushed himself inside of him, and Jaidan responded with a barely-there nod, fingernails digging into Alfie's back through the fabric of his shirt as he breathed out a, "Keep going. Don't you bloody slow down on me now."

Alfie let out a low groan, his boyfriend’s pleas going straight to his already straining cock. Sealing his lips over Jaidan’s in a heated kiss, his hands dropped to his trousers before quickly unbuttoning them and pushing them down to his knees. He broke the kiss and began to suck his way down Jaidan’s neck, biting down on his warm skin to leave a deep purple mark. With a impatient moan, he tugged down Jaidan’s boxers and slipped his hand between his legs, the wetness between them causing his stomach to clench. “Fuck, I want you,” He cursed against his neck as he slipped a finger inside. He wanted to get down on his knees and run his tongue along him, but he was too eager to be inside him.

It never took much to rile Alfie up, Jaidan knew, and if he weren't as horny as he was he would revel in it and make things harder for his boyfriend. Instead, he helped him, shuffling out of his trousers as best as he could when Alfie undid them. "Fuck," he breathed out, angling his neck to give Alfie better access. If he didn't have at least one hickey by the end of this all, he would make Alfie leave him with one. The feeling of Alfie's hand on his crotch had Jaidan's hips bucking forward, especially with the hypersensitivity that came with the potions. "Then take me already," he breathed out, turning his head as he searched for Alfie's lips. Alfie's finger inside of him had Jaidan breathlessly laughing as his hand slid up the boy's shirt. "Just one finger, love?" he teased, lips mouthing the words against Alfie's jaw. "Why even bother? Skip the foreplay and fuck me senseless."