apricot.

Hence, Lee Donghyuck ignores the plain, white envelope; he reckons you would take care of it later for him. Somebody must have mistakenly placed it in his office, that no one can easily access apart from you, and it’s not like Donghyuck is scared of the thought of losing you. Anyway, if it were you, then he could just say no.

Donghyuck scoffs at the thought of your audacity leaving him after seven long years of working together, dropping a stack of files on top of the stupid letter, and makes a mental note to tell this joke to Jeno later when he joins him for dinner.

He pulls himself closer to his desk, turning away from the stack of files, and brings his focus back to his computer. His e-mails are all taken care of as usual—because all e-mails to Vice-President Lee must be addressed to both Lee Donghyuck himself and his secretary Y/N, otherwise, consider it non-existent; the golden rule in SM Tech is that, if Y/N is not copied, then it never reached Lee Donghyuck.

His entire day has been taken care of as well—you are an amazing secretary; anyone would be lucky to have you—and all he really needed to do today is review the reports coming from Operations before his big presentation to a client SM Tech has been trying to win over for years. Weishen Inc. is the most sought-after partner in the entirety of South Korea right now, and everyone and their grandmothers have been trying to get a partnership with them. It’s basically a war at this point, Donghyuck thinks, because it’s all every tech company in Seoul have been working on. And considering that Donghyuck is vying for that CEO role in the next couple of years, getting this in the bag would really help him.

Which is why it doesn’t make sense to Donghyuck that it’s you who would leave a stupid resignation letter on his desk.

You have been working with Lee Donghyuck for seven years. You were an intern, Donghyuck remembers, and Donghyuck had just gotten out of college. And being the eldest grandson of the chairman of the board, it was pretty easy for Donghyuck to land a permanent job as soon as he received his diploma. Donghyuck was introduced as a client solutions program director, with an emphasis from his grandfather that he wouldn’t get a special treatment and will work his way up just like everybody else, and you were introduced as his associate. It’s safe to say that moving up towards the leadership ladder had been easy because he had you.

Resilient and intelligent, you were everything he ever wanted. Donghyuck has been in the business far longer thant he years he spent in college; he’s seen everything as a child. Hence, Donghyuck knew what he wanted when he’s given a role, and you were everything and more.

You never complained about anything at all. Lee Donghyuck wasn’t easy to work with because well, he knows he’s a brat who gets everything in a golden platter and he is well aware of how demanding he can be. You worked beyond your supposed working hours to catch up on Donghyuck’s demands, and even went above the expectations by working on most of his reports because he had other priorities. You take care of his e-mails (there has never been a day in seven years that he opened Outlook with a single e-mail waiting for him) and get him meals daily because he never has the time. For fuck’s sake, you even take care of his stupid dates for him.

Over the years of working with him, you probably know Donghyuck like the back of your hand—even better than his best friend Jeno—and you’ve been working hard with him to reach his goal of becoming CEO in the next couple of years. You know this because you call him daepyonim when you’re tipsy from the expensive wine he makes you drink on a particularly stressful Friday night, and you never call him daepyonim. You’re one of the few people who calls him, well, Donghyuck. No honorifics, no boundaries.

So, Lee Donghyuck is sure you would never leave him.

“Donghyuck, I need you to approve this.” Speaking of the devil. “It’s a request to add more manpower in Operations. I’ve thought about it. You’ll probably decline this—I’m sure—because you would think they wouldn’t need it, but since we’re working on the new project—”

Everything else fades when he sees you enter his office: you hair is tied in a bun like always, the sleeves of your dress shirt he remembers giving you years ago are rolled up to your forearms, the redness from your lipstick is a little smudged (most likely because you keep drinking from a sports bottle and not from a glass like a normal person). You walk closer towards his desk, a folder in your hand, and as you speak, you’re snapping your fingers in his direction. Why are you snapping? Why—

Oh.

“Donghyuck?” you call, and it breaks whatever trance he was in. “I know you’re tired. But it’s Thursday, okay? Let’s get through today and tomorrow, then you can go golfing with Jeno or something.”

You gently slide the folder on his desk. “Here’s the letter of request. I just need you to sign this and I’ll be on my way.”

Donghyuck signs, trusting that you’ve read through the whole thing as always, and nods towards your direction. You thank him, and suddenly Donghyuck hears the white envelope buried under the stack of things he needs to read today scream for him.

“Hey, Y/N,” he calls. You turn with a curious look. Donghyuck clears his throat. “Somebody came to my office and accidentally left a letter without consulting you. People in the place should already know that no paper should land on my desk unless it’s cleared from yours. Can you take care of it for me?”

“I don’t remember anyone coming in today,” you trail off. “But sure, let me take care of it. Which one?”

Donghyuck gets rid of his own folders and finds the envelope, handing it to you, and you look at him as though he just cracked the funniest joke.

Chuckling, you walk back towards his desk, and Donghyuck almost sighs in relief when your hand touches the envelope. Almost, because you push it back to him instead of taking it.

“Donghyuck,” you say with a smile. “This is from me.”

Well. Fuck.

Of course, Lee Jeno is laughing at him.

“This is serious, Jeno,” Donghyuck whines quietly, careful so that you wouldn’t hear. He throws the cushion towards his best friend, who quickly dodges it. “I really think the person sitting on the desk outside my office is not Y/N. Didn’t you notice anything weird before you came in?”

“I think that you’re going crazy, man,” Jeno answers, still laughing. “It’s the same old Y/N. She told me not to bother you too much because you’re busy, just like every time I come here. I don’t think she knows what I do in this company. Doesn’t she know I’m the head of IT and Development?”

“I’m serious, man. Somebody must have abducted her and replaced her with someone as good, but I’m sure that’s not her—”

“Donghyuck-ssi­,” you call, the door slightly opened so he could only see you from your tied-up bun to the button of your nose. “I’ll be having my lunch. Let me know if you need anything; I’ll come running back.”

Donghyuck nods towards your direction, and as soon as you’re gone, he turns back to Jeno as if he just witnessed the craziest thing. “See?! That wasn’t her! She never calls me with honorifics. Why did she suddenly called me Donghyuck-ssi. Who the fuck is Donghyuck-ssi?”

“You’re literally overreacting,” Jeno comments. “She calls you with honorifics when you’re around co-workers because she doesn’t want the world thinking she doesn’t respect you.”

Of course. “Oh, yeah.”

“What happened, anyway?” Jeno asks, reaching for the gourmet burger you had ordered for them. “She seems fine to me.”

Donghyuck sighs. “She submitted a resignation letter.” Jeno almost chokes on his meal. “Unbelievable, right?”

“Holy shit, what have you done Lee Donghyuck?” Jeno asks soon as he recovers. Donghyuck shrugs, taking a piece of fries. “She’s finally had enough of you!”

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck retorts. “The fuck do you mean by she’s finally had enough of me? You wish I was your boss. I’m the best boss ever.”

Jeno laughs. Laughs out loud. And Donghyuck looks at him, exasperated.

“You’re not that dense, aren’t you?” Jeno chokes out; Donghyuck wishes he really chokes on his own laughter, stupid Jeno. “You’re not really that oblivious, right?”

“Oblivious about what, Jeno? You’re really annoying me now.”

“Oh, Lee Donghyuck,” Jeno laughs again. “I see why she’s quitting on you.”

“Who said I would let her?”

“I bet a new Lamborghini that she’s gone by the end of spring.”

“Don’t manifest shit like that!”

“Bet.”

“Bet I can make her stay.”

“Bet you can’t.”

“Fuck you.”

Donghyuck decides to cancel dinner with Jeno. Jeno is a bitch, anyway.

You’re seated beside him; his chauffer driving the two of you home. He sits uncomfortably beside you as you mindlessly scroll through your phone, unaware of the chaos you’ve created in his mine. The ride is about fifteen minutes away until you reach your apartment, which means Donghyuck has roughly fifteen minutes to get everything off his chest otherwise he won’t be getting any sleep tonight.

He reaches for the button on his side, closing the partition between the driver and the two of you. The sound alone makes you look at him, knowing that he probably has something important to say.

“What’s wrong?” you ask immediately as soon as the partition is closed. “Did we forget anything?”

“You’re not serious, are you?” Donghyuck asks, looking right into your eyes, because he wants you to know that he’s serious and that he’s not playing with you. “About the resignation. Because I’m not playing with you, Y/N.”

“Donghyuck,” you say in a whisper, taking both his hands and looking at him right into his eyes just like what he’s doing. You’re the only one who never gets intimidated with the way he’s looking down at you right now. “I wouldn’t joke about that kind of thing.”

“Why?” he asks.

“Did you read the letter?”

“Yes, and it’s full of bullshit.” You frown at his response. “What? It’s true? Resigning for a personal reason? Y/N, I would think you can give me a better reason.”

“It’s the truth,” you say quietly. “I have no other reason. I don’t plan to betray you by working in another company that pays better.”

“No one pays better than SM Tech,” he retorts. A fact, honestly. “And I don’t accept personal reason for resignation. I’ve never approved any resignation that says personal reason.”

“Donghyuck, I approve all resignation letters on your behalf; you haven’t approved a single resignation letter yourself in the last seven years.”

“Exactly,” Donghyuck spits. “I do not approve resignation letters. So, the answer is no.”

“Donghyuck, you can’t decline a resignation letter.”

“Watch me.”

“It’s illegal. That’s against the labor law—”

“Y/N.”

“Donghyuck, will you listen?”

“It’s final. No.”

“I’ll make my exit as smooth as possible; you won’t even notice. I’ve already put up a job vacancy online and tomorrow, I’m visiting Seoul National University with Soojung from Recruitment so we can see any potentials from the graduating classes. It’s going to be—”

“Absolutely horrendous,” Donghyuck finishes, fishing the envelope from the inside pocket of his expensive suit. “It’s final,” he says again, before doing the devil’s work.

“Donghyuck, don’t!” But it’s too late. He’s already ripped the envelope and the letter inside in half. And another half. And another one. Until it’s all torn into small pieces.

Donghyuck smiles in triumph, as if he just won a battle, and the urge to poke his tongue out is so strong that he has to remind himself that he’s still talking to an employee. He watches you sigh as you pick up the small pieces, collecting it then placing it inside your bag. You don’t say anything, and Donghyuck assumes you’ve accepted defeat. You’re not going anywhere, not in a million years, not in this lifetime. He sits back comfortably and from his peripheral view, he sees you fidgeting on your own hands—a sign that you’re upset. Well, you can be upset all you want; Donghyuck is not letting you go.

The car takes a turn into a familiar road, which means you’re two minutes away from your home. You still hadn’t said a word to him. Donghyuck is confident he’s got you wrapped around his finger. You’re not resigning. Never. Ever.

On the 25th street, right across an apartment complex, the car finally stops. You don’t say goodbye to him, but you turn to Donghyuck before leaving, saying: “You know I can print this over and over again, right?”

Which, Donghyuck hates, sounds more like a goodbye than the word itself.

Donghyuck’s known you for seven years, and when people (mostly his asshole friends who have blatantly shown interest in you) ask him what you’re like, he could say a lot of things.

The first word that comes to his mind is always kind.

When you and him were both 21, new to the company and adulthood itself, he remembers drinking with you in front of a convenience store nearby the office, right after you successfully finished your first presentation to the senior leaders. It truly deserved a celebration, that night, because it was the first time you and him had to do something big for the company. Donghyuck can’t remember much about the presentation itself or whatever feedback he received from his grandfather, but he can clearly remember how drunk you two were. He remembers taking his suit off and watching you take off yours, you and him left in your white dress shirts as you alternately take shots straight from the bottle of soju.

They say that you never truly know someone unless you see them drunk. And there you were, drunk and dazed, laughing with him about nothing at all. Donghyuck recalls an old man struggling to open the door of the convenience store and how quickly you (drunkenly) got up to help him. Donghyuck watched you enter the convenience store with the old man, later coming out, a big drunken smile on your face as you bid your goodbyes with the old man.

“Oh, Donghyuck,” you had said, tears already streaming down your tears. “I love him.”

“Y/N, relax, you literally just met him,” was his response.

“He was buying something for his sick wife,” you had rambled. “But he couldn’t cook to save his life so he got something from the convenience store. Have I told you he was counting his bills when he was paying? So, I paid for him and got him a few more things to take home. I love him so much.”

“You’re cute,” he had said (drunkenly, of course, he doesn’t mean it that way. You’re his secretary, for god’s sake.)

“I’d rather be called kind,” you had answered before tipping your head back and drinking from the bottle of soju you and him are sharing. Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he heard you. “I said I’d rather be kind than cute. Or beautiful. Or whatever. I’d rather be kind than anything.”

And Donghyuck knows this is true because like he said, he has known you for seven years now. Seven years, seven years of learning what kindness is. All because of you.

Aside from the innate kindness you have, Donghyuck thinks you’re detail-oriented. And not to be that kind of person who always talks about work, but Donghyuck reckons this is exactly why you’re his favorite person in the entire world (but no one needs to know that Donghyuck thought of you as his favorite person in the world) and he believes that this is why you and him have stayed together (at work) for seven long years, because you and him are the same when it comes to your careers.

You’re far more hardworking than Donghyuck, that one he can admit. You work long hours in the office even when he’s fast asleep in his couch or wherever his body could reach as soon as he’s home, just so you can make him look good in the board the next day. Donghyuck can’t count the number of times you saved him at work (more like saved his ass from his grandfather) and most of the time, he knows you deserve more credit than you get.

After three years of working as a director, Donghyuck was promoted as Vice-President for Client Solutions, the role he’s currently in. There was a party, Donghyuck remembers, and his grandfather invited everyone their family knew. His father had to remind him to greet each of those who will attend, as they could be potential investors and partners, and Donghyuck is great, okay? He’s one of the best in his field, not only because he’s part of the Lee bloodline, but because he worked hard for it. Donghyuck is charming, above anything else, and compliant and created and an innate leader, but one thing he is, unfortunately, not good at is remembering people.

And bless you, you knew that. The day before the party, you studied the guest list and any potential plus ones they might bring, and the night of the party, you walked arm in arm with Donghyuck, whispering the names of each guests and telling him how important they are in the business. Donghyuck could have kissed you right there and there (only because he’s grateful), because nobody in the entire world would have done that for him. When he thinks about that night and imagines if you weren’t there for him, he could have screwed up all client and investor relationships SM Tech has built over the decades. But you were there, you were always always there.

Which brings him to item number three: reliable.

Donghyuck could disappear from the face of the earth for two weeks straight and his line of business would still be running. Why, people may ask? Because he has you.

You’re here. You’re everywhere he wants you to be.

But right now—it’s difficult not to hate you right now.

Right now, if Donghyuck could describe you, right now you’re a piece of shit.

It’s been five days since the white envelope incident (as he calls it) and you have been nothing but a menace. An asshole. A literal piece of shit he wants to throw away. (Perhaps not literally.)

The first couple of days after the incident, the first thing he would see is another copy of your stupid resignation letter on his desk, and each time he would call for you, make you watch him rip it into pieces just like the last time, and you would leave his office, defeated—only to put the same stupid letter the next day like the asshole you are. You have threated to go straight to Human Resources, which you haven’t, thank God because Donghyuck doesn’t really want his grandfather to know these things, hend Donghyuck decided he would just hide from you. That way, in case Human Resources would ask why he didn’t approve the resignation, he could just say he never received a letter.

Which is why, Donghyuck has decided to work from home from this day onwards. You’ve been spamming his e-mail with the soft copy of the resignation letter, which he had ignored each time, and have been trying to call him non-stop, but he learned from Jeno that he could setup a meeting with himself in Microsoft Teams and pretend to present something so that nobody could call him and at the same time make people think he’s working because his status would tell people he’s presenting an important, well, presentation.

How long will he work from home? Well, up until you get your head out of your ass and stop asking him to approve your stupid resignation letter.

But you make it so fucking difficult. Apart from being kind, detail-oriented, and reliable, Donghyuck forgot that you’re also persistent. You don’t stop until you get what you want.

Which explains why there’s a delivery man walking back and forth from his truck to the inside of his house—because you decided to send three thousand copies of the resignation letter to his home. Three thousand copies of the same letter, all sealed in the same white envelope. Where do you even find the time to do this shit? He can’t believe you. He really can’t believe you.

He calls you as soon as the delivery person leaves his place.

“Fine!” is the first thing he says (more like screams) when you answer. “You know what? Sure, I’ll sign your stupid paper.”

“Thank you,” you reply, and it angers Donghyuck even more.

“Start looking for a fucking replacement. I don’t need you!”

“You’re upset, I understand that. You don’t have to be so mean about it, Donghyuck.”

“That’s daepyonim for you,” he retorts.

“Sure, daepyonim,” you bite back. “When can I come get my signed resignation letter, daepyonim? I’m itching to submit it to Human Resources.”

“Now,” he answers, all flared up and angry. You’re being a real piece of shit today. What’s gotten into you? “Come get it now, you ungrateful bitch.”

He hears you snicker on the other line before saying “thank you, daepyonim,” and you hang up.

Donghyuck throws his phone against the wall, and it breaks, dropping hard and in pieces down his warm, carpeted floor. He screams in frustration and pulls his hair, exhausted from whatever the fuck you’re doing. He can’t believe you’re really doing this. You’ve been with him for years; you literally grew up with him in the corporate world. He’s never heard one single complaint from you. Donghyuck’s mind runs a hundred kilometers per hour, trying to recall any memory of you expressing any intention to leave him, and it pisses him off a little that he never bothered to ask you once how you’ve been holding up over the last seven years. And he’s supposed to know; Donghyuck is supposed to know not only because this is something he should know as a leader (there was a webinar about retaining your employees four years ago but he slept through half of it), but also because he’s supposed to know you.

He supposed to know you the way you know him.

And right now, it seems like he’s dealing with a fucking stranger with how far away you are to him.

The door bell rings only minutes later. He guesses you’ve been waiting down the street after you sent 10 boxes full of resignation letters because it didn’t take you that long to reach his place.

“You could’ve just invited yourself in instead of wasting my energy; you know how busy I am,” is the first thing that Donghyuck comes up with.

“We’re not at work,” you remark. “This is your home. I can’t barge in anytime I want.”

“You barge in literally every time I oversleep and you pick me up,” he scoffs, turning to walk towards his living area with you following after him.

“Where’s my signed resignation letter?” you ask. “If I get it now and make it back to the office, someone from Human Resources can file it for me.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Relax. I’ll give it to you later. Come sit with me first.”

“I don’t really have time—”

Donghyuck turns and it’s a little too late for you to stop because now you’re chest to chest and Donghyuck has to hold your back to keep you from falling.

The first thing he notices up close is how dull your eyes look. Your eyes have always been bright, as far as Donghyuck could remember, and he knows this because even leaders from other lines of business have vocalized how excited your eyes always look whenever you’re at work. He’s heard people complimenting how pretty your eyes are, and you got voted as “Most Alluring Eyes of the Night” at the year-end party last year.

They’ve always been bright, full of sparks, passion, and warmth. But today, it’s all dull and empty, like a burnt-out light bulb barely hanging in there.

“What’s wrong?” Donghyuck asks gently, still holding you.

You clear your throat and step back, bringing the space and coldness back between you and him. “What do you mean?”

“Talk to me,” he offers. “What’s wrong? Why are you leaving?”

“Like I said in the letter—”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” he warns. “Tell me why you’re leaving.”

“I’m not looking for a career advancement,” you say. “I swear. I didn’t get recruited from another company.”

“Tell me why you’re leaving,” Donghyuck repeats. You swallow and step back a little more, looking smaller than ever.

“Personal reasons,” you mumble. “I’ve been working in SM Tech for seven years, Donghyuck. I wasn’t even supposed to stay after my internship. My original plan was to get some experience and later on try to work abroad.”

“So, you’re not grateful that SM Tech absorbed you right after college?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” you interrupt him. “I love SM Tech, and you know that. I owe the company literally my entire life. I wouldn’t have been able to afford the life I have now even if I worked abroad. You pay me more than anyone would and you’ve given me more bonuses than anyone else could get in a lifetime.”

(The car you got as a bonus wasn’t really a bonus; Donghyuck wanted to give it to you as a birthday gift without being seen as an emotionally attached sap, so he made the company tell you it’s a bonus.)

“But,” you say, sighing. “I’ve given so much of myself to SM Tech that I feel like I’ve got nothing left of me.”

“What do you mean?” he asks. He watches you look down, your toes fiddling, a sign that you’re nervous. “What do you mean you got nothing left of you?”

“I don’t know myself aside from being Lee Donghyuck’s secretary,” you finally say. “I’m scared that I’ll grow old not knowing what I else I can do aside from being your secretary.”

“Do you want to be promoted?” Donghyuck offers. “I can ask my grandfather to—”

You sigh, “That’s not at all what I mean Donghyuck.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want to get away,” you say in a small voice. “From SM Tech. From you. I’ll learn more about myself if I was far away from you.”

“Then take a fucking vacation!” Donghyuck breaks, face red. “Use all of your paid time offs. If you need more, I’ll have them give you more. Buy a fucking plane ticket to wherever you want to go. Book a stupid hotel room and use my card. Go wherever you want to go. Just don’t leave me, damn it!”

“Donghyuck,” you whisper. “Please let me leave. This is all I want.”

“Where do you plan on going if you leave?” he asks.

“I plan to take a year off from work. I have enough savings to last me a year without working. I’m not sure yet. I’ll travel, or whatever options I have.”

“I don’t understand.” Donghyuck sighs, walking towards his expensive couch, sitting with his palms on his face, his elbows resting on thighs. He feels you sit beside him, your knees touching his.

“Donghyuck, I’m turning 28 in a few months,” you slowly say, your hand on his shoulder as if touching him would make him understand what you’re trying to say. “I haven’t traveled to places I want to go. I’m grateful that you took me with you to all the business trips you had abroad, but I also want to travel. I haven’t traveled for leisure.”

“Why do you never ask?” he mumbles, words unclear because his face is still planted on his palms. “Why can’t you just request for a PTO instead of being dramatic?”

You laugh. Donghyuck finally looks at you again. “Donghyuck, you’ve never approved a single PTO.”

“You never requested.”

“I haven’t requested one since 2019, because you’ve declined each request from 2016 until 2019. And I can’t afford to go on leave these days, especially when you’re about to become CEO,” you explain. “Which is why I have to quit now before you become CEO.”

“What’s your point?” he groans, leaning back, head tilted up so that he’s looking at the ceiling instead of your empty, dull eyes.

“I’m turning 28 in a few months,” you repeat. “You becoming CEO would mean I would get less time for myself when I barely have any right now.”

“I’ll change,” Donghyuck promises. “I’ll give you a full week off every month if you want. Paid off.”

You laugh. “I’m turning 28.”

Donghyuck curses. “Why do you keep saying that? We’re both turning 28!”

“You don’t get it, do you?” you said. Donghyuck turns his head towards you, head still resting on the couch. There’s a sparkle in your eyes now that you’re laughing.

“Get what?”

“Oh, Donghyuck,” you say, leaning over him, your hand reaching towards his head, hand gently tapping his hair. “I’m turning 28 and I want to start dating and eventually get married. If I don’t quit from you now, I don’t think anyone would want to marry me when I’m 40 or something.”

Donghyuck sits straight up, eyes wide, “That’s why you’re quitting?”

You lean back, nodding.

“Why are you so being dramatic about it, quitting and all this shit you’re pulling?” he asks. “Y/N, we can resolve this easily—”

“I can’t date while working for you, Donghyuck. The last time I dated someone, you literally scared them away by showing up on our date, which was not cool, by the way.”

“Then we can get married!”

Donghyuck sees the surprise on your eyes, watches you swallow as soon as you hear his proposal. He smiles, knowing he can never get you to say no.

“Think about it, baby,” he says, the endearment obviously affecting you with the way your breath hitches. “We’re basically married now. We’ve been together seven years. You can still work at the company. If you don’t want to be my secretary anymore, I’ll—I’ll come up with something. The only difference will be rings on our fingers and sharing the same house!”

“Donghyuck,” you try to say. “I—”

“I’m sure we can have it arranged in a few days. My auntie owns a company that organizes weddings and events. We can—”

“Donghyuck!”

Donghyuck stops when you shout, the first time, at him. “Why?”

“I don’t want to marry you,” you drop. “It’s like… marrying my job. That’s weird.”

Donghyuck laughs. You laugh, too, which is a relief for Donghyuck. Does this mean you won’t quit?

“And besides you have a girlfriend,” you remind him. Oh, yeah. Hyunjin.

Donghyuck snorts, ready to get his phone. “We’re just dating because my mother said so. I can break up with her now.”

You chuckle as you stop Donghyuck from taking his phone from his pocket. “Donghyuck. No more games.”

“I’m not playing!”

“Please,” you quietly say, hand still on his forearm, giving him a pleading squeeze. “Please let me go. I owe you my life, and I think it’s time I live it.”

Donghyuck looks for any sign of hesitance in your eyes. Any sign of regret. Any sign of joking albeit impossible. But all he finds in your eyes is hope. Longing. And who is he to deny you from living your life?

He’s probably going to regret this, but Donghyuck reaches over his coffee table for a pen and a copy of your resignation letter. He takes it from the envelope and places the paper on his thigh, signing it with his name, before taking a good look on it, then at you.

You smile when you see him sign it, and hold his hand longer when he hands it to you. “Thank you,” you say almost in a whisper.

Donghyuck could only smile back, lip tight. You bid him goodbye and tell him you’re going back to hand it over to HR.

Donghyuck could only nod.

Donghyuck could only watch you leave.

Donghyuck could only sit in silence.

Thirty days.

Thirty days is how long you’re giving Donghyuck to accept your departure. It’s a month from now, but it feels like it’s coming by too soon.

It’s driving him insane, and he was right, he would regret signing it as soon as you left. Now, he’s in the conquest to have you retract the resignation before thirty days is over. It’s Day One of Operation: Keep Y/N—the biggest project he’s ever had his entire career. He doesn’t have a plan yet, but Donghyuck will succeed no matter what.

“Jeno,” he says through the office phone. “I need you here.”

“Man, I’m busy, what do you want?”

“I need you to help me make Y/N retract her stupid resignation,” Donghyuck answers in whisper because you’re siting literally outside of his door. “We took the webinar about retaining employees together right?”

“We took two hundred webinars together, Donghyuck. How would I know?”

“We did,” Donghyuck confirms. “But I was asleep. And you were new, so I assume you took notes. How do you retain your best employees?”

“Donghyuck, I literally cannot remember even attending such webinar,” Jeno admits. “HR does that. They have a person in charge of retaining employees who are resigning. Hand it to them, man.”

Donghyuck loosens his tie. “They don’t know Y/N like I do.”

“Then maybe you’re not trying to retain an employee,” Jeno suggests. “Perhaps you’re just trying to make Y/N stay. I don’t think you need anyone’s help.”

Donghyuck stops breathing for a second, trying to repeat what Jeno just said. Donghyuck denies it in his mind; he needs you because you work with him well. Because you and him work well together. Because he succeeds in any endeavor when you’re beside him. He’s trying to retain you as an employee. For the CEO post. For SM Tech.

“That’s not what I mean,” Donghyuck tries, but Jeno is already hanging up on him.

Well, Jeno is no use. Donghyuck reckons he can’t call his father or mother about this because then they would know he doesn’t attend all those webinars they enroll him to.

Hence, Donghyuck will ask the next best thing: Google.

Google routes him to a link to a Forbes article that’s titled: “Top Five Tips For Retaining Employees During The Great Resignation" and he figures he can start from there.

Create connection through engagement. Implement remote/hybrid schedules. Go with a growth mindset. Beef up benefit offerings. Cultivate company culture.

Huh, Donghyuck thinks. It sounds easier than he imagined.

Donghyuck sits up straight, nodding to himself as he reads through the entire article, fueled and motivated. He’s not going to let you go, not in a million years, not in this lifetime.

Operation: Keep Y/N commences.

Every year, SM Tech holds a sports event to encourage engagement, and Donghyuck sees this as an opportunity to complete task number 1: create connection through engagement.

Which is why he is here now, wearing something he would never be seen in on a normal day: a pair of red sweatpants and a white shirt. Jeno is sitting excitedly beside him at the gymnasium that the company rented for an entire day. Like Donghyuck, Jeno and everyone else is wearing the same outfit, half of the population wearing blue instead of red to manage the teams more efficiently.

Now there was one problem, how will Donghyuck create a connection with you if he’s never joined any of this bullshit for the past seven years?

You, however, joined each and every single one. Now that he thinks about it, why did you never bother asking him to join?

“There she is,” Jeno whispers, pointing towards the basketball court.

Donghyuck finally sees you after a full ten minutes of looking for you since he arrived. He has 28 days, he reminds himself. 28 days until your resignation takes effect.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jeno asks when Donghyuck stands, jumping from one stair to another, passing by the people sitting on the bleachers. “Stupid,” he shouts loud enough for everyone to hear when Donghyuck almost trips. Donghyuck fights the urge to flip him off.

He tries not to run as soon as his feet land on the covered court, but his steps are bigger than normal, as though he’s scared he might not be fast enough to catch you. You’re usually passionate about these things; Donghyuck’s sure you volunteered on something one way or another.

When you’re almost at reach, he slows down a little to catch his breath so that you wouldn’t think he came running to see you. Donghyuck realizes this is also the first time he’s seen you with anything else apart from dress shirts, slacks or skirts, or formal wear. You’re holding a piece of paper, reading it with a colleague, because of course, you’re playing and leading the team. You don’t notice him come by, and Donghyuck thinks it’s cute, the way your eyes widen at the sight of him wearing the same outfit as everyone else.

“Donghyuck!” you exclaim. “Donghyuck-ssi.” You repeat. God, you’re cute. He never realized you were this cute until today. “You didn’t tell me you’re joining today.”

“Surprise, I guess?” Donghyuck replies. Your colleagues all bow and greet him. “I’m happy to see everyone here today. Let’s all have a good day!”

The small crowd cheers, one of them pointing out that Donghyuck is on the same team as them, another saying it’s the first time he’s seen anyone beyond director level joining an event as such. You smile proudly at Donghyuck. No one needs to know his heart does a backflip (he’s not sure how else to describe the sudden rapid beating or the drastic change in his breathing) whenever you smile proudly at him. He remembers the first time he’s seen that smile: the day of his first presentation with the board of directors. He’s seen in more times than he could count, and among a hundred times he shows off what he’s got, most of it is because he wants to see you smile at him proudly.

So, he does one thing after another that he knows would make you proud.

“If Red Team wins the trophy this year,” he says. “Dinner’s on me!”

Everyone wearing red sweatpants cheers. The ones wearing blue mutter about why no one from the leadership joined their team.

“Let’s all work hard today!” Donghyuck shouts one last time, and everyone starts walking away from the small crowd to go prepare for the games assigned to them.

Donghyuck is still smiling directly at you, who’s also smiling directly at him, and his heart does that thing again when you step closer to him. “You’re cool, Donghyuck-ssi.”

Donghyuck shrugs, licking his lips, “I am Lee Donghyuck.”

You giggle and roll your eyes. “Any games you’re interested in playing?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “My old injury still won’t let me.”

You nod, remembering right away. “Oh, yeah. I’ll see you in the office, then?”

“I’ll stay and watch,” Donghyuck confirms. “I’ll be your… Gatorade boy.”

You laugh out loud, and Donghyuck feels everyone watching the scene unfold. He could hear women muttering at how lucky you are to have interactions like this with him.

You nod and tell him to watch out for his head because the girls will be playing volleyball and the boys, basketball. He reminds you to take care and asks you gently not to get injured. Donghyuck catches the blush on your cheeks before you turn to catch your colleagues.

Donghyuck returns to the bleachers. Jeno has moved three flights down, and is sitting on the front row as the referee blows the whistle. The game of basketball starts, and Donghyuck watches, keeping his eye on you every now and then.

Red Team wins, of course, and everyone’s cheers is jaded when he sees you jump in excitement on the other side of the court. The host announces the next game: three-legged race, and he reckons this is the game you’re assigned to because you walk across the court with your teammates.

Jeno explains the game to him. Donghyuck nods, eyes still on you.

“That’s Na Jaemin from Accounting,” Jeno whispers, pointing at the tall, blonde man standing in the middle of the court. “What a gorgeous man.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, checking the time. The game should start in three minutes. He watches you interact with your teammates, perhaps looking for your partner who is yet to arrive.

Donghyuck feels something he can’t explain when he sees a tall man approach you, tapping you on your shoulder, and you excitedly cheering when you see the man, giving him a side hug that Donghyuck realizes you’ve never given him.

“That,” Donghyuck breathes. “Who’s that?”

Jeno snickers.

“That,” he emphasizes, like how that lady from Julliard introduced Troy Bolton in High School Musical. “Is Jung Sungchan.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know everyone in SM Tech, but he would know if there was a Jung Sungchan sitting around, looking like a fucking God, hence his surprise to see someone speaking with you so casually, making you laugh as if he’s funnier than Lee Donghyuck himself. What does he do anyway? Is he a VP like Donghyuck? VP for what? VP for Having Perfect Skin? Jung fucking Sungchan. Donghyuck already doesn’t like him.

“He works in IT and Development, under Jisung’s supervision,” Jeno answers as if he’s reading Donghyuck’s mind. “He’s new. Like he recently got regularized.”

“Who decided to regularize him?” Donghyuck confronts.

“Me, stupid,” Jeno answers. “He’s great. A potential leader in IT, if you ask me.”

“Like VP level?” Donghyuck asks. “Can he be a VP?”

Jeno laughs. “Man, you’re screwed.” Donghyuck looks at him, eyebrows furrowed, as if he’s asking him what he means. “Nothing, nothing.”

“He’s good-looking, yeah, but he can’t be VP like me.”

“Whatever you say, man.”

Donghyuck keeps an eye on you the whole time, and he hates that whenever he looks at you, he sees Jung Sungchan. He watches your teammates tighten the ties they wrapped around your ankles and knees. He hates that he has to watch Sungchan pull you close, the side of your bodies touching like magnets. He hates that Sungchan could wrap an arm around you because you’re too short and you would fall as soon as the game starts if he doesn’t hold on to you. He hates that Sungchan could hug you as soon as the game ends because you and him just won the game for the team.

He hates that Jung Sungchan sits beside you the whole time after the game, even going out of his way to get a bottle of Gatorade for you. He hates that you smile at him proudly, and that you laugh at whatever joke that man was saying. He hates that he’s sitting on the other side of the court, and that you don’t give him the time of the day.

He hates that after the game, when the team is announced as the champion of this year’s sports event, the first person you hug is Jung Sungchan.

Lee Donghyuck hates that he doesn’t understand why he’s hating all of this all of a sudden.

He skips dinner and leaves his card to Jeno.

You don’t look for him, and Donghyuck doesn’t understand why he hates that you don’t.

Donghyuck becomes obsessed with Jung Sungchan the next Monday after the sports event. It’s also 25 days until your resignation is finalized, which means, he shouldn’t be thinking about Jung Sungchan and should be focusing on the rest of what that Forbes article said about retaining employees.

Jung Sungchan, Donghyuck learns, went to the same university as you. He is a few years younger, so he probably calls you nuna. (Which makes Donghyuck think now, how do you feel about being called nuna by a good-looking man? He’s heard from his younger sister that women like being called nuna or having a younger boyfriend in general. Did you want Jung Sungchan to be your boyfriend? Is that why you’re resigning? Are you resigning so you can date him?)

Sungchan is an IT major, who’s also taking his master’s degree while he’s working. He was originally an intern like you, who was absorbed by SM Tech as soon as he completed his degree. (Donghyuck thinks you and him are probably close because he’s taking the same path you when you started with SM Tech. Yeah, that could be a valid reason.)

Sungchan is also from the same hometown you grew up in, though you never really met each other until he started working at SM Tech. Sungchan has the same schedule as you and Donghyuck (don’t ask Donghyuck how he got these information—of course, it’s Jeno) and spends a lot of time in the rooftop playing with his Nintendo Switch.

The similarities between you and Jung Sungchan are scary at this point. Donghyuck barely spends lunch time with you because even a hardworking girl like you needs time for herself, and oh Lord, Donghyuck thinks. You spent a lot of time in the rooftop, too. You and Jung Sungchan may be closer than Donghyuck had imagined.

“Donghyuck?” you call, entering his office. Donghyuck quickly closes the window showing Sungchan’s profile in the employee directory. “I’m going to take my lunch. After this, come meet the applicants, please.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

You smile. “For my replacement.”

“Oh,” he breathes. “That quickly? I thought you’re staying for like a month?”

You nod. “I figured it’ll be a smoother transition if we hire my replacement as early as next week, that way, they could get used to your schedule and daily whereabouts before I leave.”

Before you leave, of course, Donghyuck remembers. Of course, you’re leaving.

Donghyuck forgets about Jung Sungchan, doesn’t even think about him when he asks you: “Wanna have lunch with me?”

His heart somersaults when you smile back and say: “I’d love that, Donghyuck.”

Lunch is nothing but your sweet, soft laughter whenever Donghyuck cracks a stupid joke. It’s nothing but Donghyuck’s heart doing its thing whenever you say something encouraging or when you reach over to wipe the sauce from the tip of his lips. It’s nothing but Donghyuck thinking why he never invited you for lunch, why all meals with you all these years have always been rushed and in the middle of stacks of  folders because you both had to quickly go back to work if you wanted to make it home before midnight, why stressful Friday nights were just wine inside his office, why he never took time to talk to you like this. Like it’s nothing but you and him.

You know Donghyuck like the back of your hand. Donghyuck asks himself, does he know you like you know him? He knows how you handle certain situations and is well aware of your quirks inside the office, but does he know you like how you know the pain that comes with being the grandson of Chairman Lee? Does he know you the way you know he’s never really been in love with any of the women he dated and that he’s only dating them to comply with his Mother’s ridiculous requests? Does he know you the way you know right away when he’s sick and needs a couple of days off?

You have done so many things for Donghyuck. While you’re helping him with a glass of wine, Donghyuck thinks: what has he done for you? Has he done something as exhausting as handling the date invitations and break-up procedure with his past girlfriends? Has he done something as marvelous as getting out of your way to make sure he gets the best treatment while he was on leave when he had that awful injury? Has he done something as remarkable as setting up an entire banquet dinner for his family when he forgot about his parents’ anniversary?

Has Donghyuck done something you would remember him by when you leave?

Something drops on the pit of his stomach, and Donghyuck suddenly wants to throw up at the thought of you leaving. And of course, you notice this right away because you stop eating as soon as Donghyuck froze on his seat.

“What’s wrong?”

I’m going to miss this, Donghyuck thinks, but he would rather die than admit it out loud.

“The steak is not as good as the other place,” he lies, shaking his head. “Which means, we’ll have to go there tomorrow.”

You chuckle. “Sure.”

Lee Donghyuck isn’t scared of anything, but the sight right now is pretty much the scariest thing he’s ever seen his entire life.

As promised after lunch, you took Donghyuck to the Recruitment Hub to meet the potential candidates for your post. You and him might have forgotten, but neither of you had gone through the process of hiring somebody. You have never worked for anyone else apart from Donghyuck, and no one else has directly worked for Donghyuck apart from you.

So, when you and him step inside the Recruitment Hub, and all twenty-seven candidates simultaneously stand and greet you in chorus, it startles the shit out of you both.

“Uh, hello,” you greet awkwardly. “You can all sit. We’re just dropping by.”

A woman wearing all green approaches you with a confident façade, eyes and lips shaking as she walks towards you and Donghyuck.

“Hi, Y/N-ssi and daepyonim,” she greets in such a high-pitch voice, it’s impossible someone sounds like that naturally. “I’m excited to work with you.”

Donghyuck grimaces, but nods quickly, not accepting the handshake she’s offering. You accept it on his behalf.

One by one, the applicants introduce themselves, and Donghyuck can tell most of them are rookies, with the way they were bowing too much and how their voices were shaking a little because of the forced energy they’re trying to portray. All fucking twenty-seven of them.

Thank God, Soojung, the recruiter, stepped out of the interview room and asked everyone to sit and wait for their turn. She announces that the interview with Mr. Lee Donghyuck is not until they all pass the other interviews.

You and Donghyuck leave the scene, laughing on your way back to his office, because it was downright ridiculous, the scene you witnessed in the recruitment hub. He likes that you’re laughing with him, and Donghyuck take a chance:

“Stay,” he says softly, holding your hand. “Please.”

You smile back, squeezing his hand back before holding his face with both your hands, palms warm, and Donghyuck melts. “You know I can’t.”

“Why not?” he asks innocently. “Why can’t you stay?”

“You know why,” you answer.

“The marriage proposal is still on,” he offers. “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

“Don’t joke about things like that, Donghyuck,” you giggle, squeezing his cheeks one last time before stepping back to leave.

“Why not?” he asks.

You don’t answer until you’re almost out the door: “I might start considering it.”

It’s twenty-two days before you leave when Donghyuck finds you on your desk and hands you a laptop from Jeno’s office—all encrypted and set-up for work—and tells you that you can work from home all week next week.

“I can?” you ask. “I never worked from home. Not even during the pandemic. I worked from your home office. But never in my own home.”

Donghyuck nods. “I figured you’ve been tired all week, with the presentation in the next couple of weeks coming up.”

“Exactly,” you point out. “The presentation we’ve been preparing for is coming up. I should be here with you.”

Donghyuck’s heart does the thing again. “And you’ve worked hard enough for it. You’ve done the research part, which took the longest, and I’m grateful you covered all that for me. Which is why I’m letting you work from home all week.”

Implement remote schedules, the article reminds him.

“Oh, man, thank you,” you say, hugging the laptop and bowing to him. “I really appreciate it.”

Donghyuck wonders why you never ask about these things. Looking at your reaction, it looks like this is something you’ve wanted for a while, but why have you never asked? He would have said yes easily.

“You let me know if you need me in the office and I’ll be here right away.” Donghyuck nods. “Thank you.”

Donghyuck goes back to his office. He figured he’ll be okay with you not being in the office.

He’s so wrong.

He’s not okay. It’s only been three working days since you started working from home and he’s already a mess. There are people knocking in his office because you aren’t there to shoo them away, and Donghyuck is not really a people-person, okay? If it weren’t for his Lee blood, he wouldn’t have made it to this position because he’s not that good with people. He’s mean and vile and rude, and his boss would probably fire him right away as soon as he opens his mouth.

Someone with the name of Chaewon is explaining something to him right now, something about logistics and about her needing him to give the sign off to another person with the name of Jiwon. She apologizes for barging in and says she doesn’t know what to do without you here. Donghyuck could say the same thing, honestly.

As soon as Chaewon is out the door, Donghyuck follows behind and locks the door.

He takes his phone and hopes you pick up because you’re probably focused on a report you’re studying since early morning.

You pick up, like always.

“Come back,” is all Donghyuck says.

You’re back in the office in no less than 20 minutes.

Seventeen days from your departure, Donghyuck is walking around Gangnam trying to find the perfect gift for his Mother. The jewelry shop around the corner is the only place his mother likes, so he buys her the bracelet filled with diamonds that she’s been eyeing on for a long time.

When Donghyuck is about to pay, a ring catches his attention. It looks great. Would look better on your hand, because, well, you have the prettiest hand. He’s going to buy it for you for no reason. Just to say thank you for staying with him for seven years.

Exactly two weeks before your departure, Human Resources finally finds a person who’s apparently fit for your job. Donghyuck doesn’t believe them at all but agrees to meet the person anyway.

You’re on the phone with someone when he steps out of his office. You look at him and point to the phone.

“Hyunjin,” you mouth. Donghyuck shakes his head and waves his hands, telling you no, I’m not here.

“Yeah, I understand, Hyunjin-ssi,” you speak. “Donghyuck-ssi has been extremely busy with the potential partner who’s visiting in a week—Oh, he didn’t tell you about? I’m sorry. He must have forgotten.”

Donghyuck gives you a thumbs up. You owe me, you mouth again.

“I assure you there’s no one else, Hyunjin-ssi,” you speak again. “He’s in his office 12 hours a day, and his driver drops him home and picks him up every day, so I don’t think he’s sleeping around.”

Donghyuck sighs. He needs to make his mother stop setting him up with other women.

“I’ll definitely have him call you as soon as he returns from the meeting he’s in,” you say, voice empathetic, probably because you’ve mastered the art of handling Lee Donghyuck’s relationships. “I heard you were in the Dior Fashion Week last month? You were so beautiful!”

Donghyuck leaves and lets you do what you do best: handle things he can’t.

He knows you know the drill by now. Seven long years, about nine or ten girlfriends in between, none of which he ever really loved.

“You’re so corny,” you had said once, while composing a love letter for one of his ex-girlfriends. “This is, like, so outdated,”

“What is?”

“This whole process!” you laughed. “Donghyuck, we’ve been doing this for over five years. You’re so corny and repetitive and unoriginal. No wonder no woman ever stays.”

“I leave,” he corrected. “And I’m not repetitive.”

You snorted. “Donghyuck, I know how each of your relationship started and ended.”

“Do you?” he challenged. “Tell me then.”

“It always starts with your mom,” you joked, but it was true anyway. “And you send them an external e-mail from your work account because you’re a piece of shit who likes to brag the VP title.”

“Right,” he agreed, laughing.

“And the first date is always at Love Always,” you continued. “Nowhere else! Besides Love Always! It’s not even a good restaurant. People go there for the clout.”

“And for Instagram,” he added. “Of course, if I take her there, she would take many pictures to post on her Instagram.”

“The second date is in your office,” you said. “And Chef Park makes the food especially for you two. And I buy a fancy flower arrangement to decorate your entire office.”

“And you have the audacity to use my card and buy yourself tulips,” he interjected. You shrugged and poked your tongue on him. “But go on, what’s next?”

You cleared your throat. “The third date will only happen if you like her enough during the second date. The criteria are as follows: did she make a comment about the security system? She should, because Jeno invented that. If she doesn’t, there’s no third date.” Donghyuck is impressed. “Did she ask you to narrate a day in your life in this very office? She should be interested in what you do, otherwise she’d only be depressed because work is all you talk about. If she’s not, there’s no third date. Lastly, did she compliment Chef Park’s food? He’s the best chef in the entire world so if she doesn’t, then there’s no third date.”

“Impressive,” Donghyuck commented. “But you missed something.”

“No, I didn’t,” you confidently answered. Donghyuck smiled.

“You missed the part where they have to be kind to you on the second date to get a third date.”

Donghyuck didn’t miss the blush on your cheeks.

“Whatever,” you shrugged. “Anyway, if it’s time for The Big Break-up, you ghost them for two or three weeks. When they start calling, La Belle Fleur is just a speed dial away. I have to get the most expensive arrangement of flowers, depending on the girl’s preference, and write in verbatim: I’m sorry I’m not enough for you. A woman like you deserves better. Please accept my apology. I will not bother you anymore.”

“Bingo!” Donghyuck confirmed. “And lastly—”

“Love always,” you said together. “Lee Donghyuck.”

(Hyunjin never got the third date, Donghyuck remembers. So, she’ll probably get the break-up flowers.)

Zhong Chenle is bright like you when he enters Donghyuck’s office. Perhaps not as bright, but good enough.

“Donghyuck-ssi,” you start. “This is Zhong Chenle. Your new secretary. He will start tomorrow. I had facilities setup a desk and computer beside mine. We’re working on his ID and credentials today, so there should be no issues tomorrow.”

“Nice you meet you, daepyonim,” Chenle greets, bowing a complete 90 degrees. “I’ll work hard.”

Donghyuck only nods, still not used to talking to other people apart from you. He sees you mouth something to him, along the words of “be kind”, but Donghyuck’s not really in the mood to being kind when you just reminded him again that you’re leaving in literally two weeks.

“Have you sent the flowers to Hyunjin?” is what he says to you, tone mean and condescending.

“I’ll have it done in a minute. I wanted to introduce Chenle first before I—”

“We’ve been introduced,” he firmly says. “Now go do your job. Out.”

You look at him in disbelief, probably biting your tongue, but nod and leave anyway.

Donghyuck doesn’t know where this sudden change of mood is coming from; perhaps when he saw Chenle, he realized it’s real. He realized you’re leaving SM Tech. You’re leaving him.

Of all people, you are leaving him.

He would think seven years would mean something to you. His feelings are still unclear, but one thing is for sure, those years mean everything to him.

Donghyuck’s suddenly bitter. Angry at the fact that you had the audacity to even bring a new secretary for him. That you had to keep coming to work and showing him the things you do for him, further making him feel like you’re trying to show him he’d go limp without you.

Fuck trying to get you to stay.

You can go as far away as you want.

“This isn’t right,” Donghyuck comments when he reads Chenle’s report.

“We’ll correct it right away,” you interject, but Donghyuck shakes his head.

“Do you expect me to accept work like this?” Donghyuck asks.

“Donghyuck, I’ll—”

“I’m not talking to you,” he spits, eyeing you before turning back to Chenle who has his head down. “You, Chenle!”

“Yes, daepyonim,” he says in a whisper.

“Talk louder,” Donghyuck commands. He hasn’t been like this in a while. During the first few years of working, he might have treated you this way, but it’s been so long that he can’t remember. “Do you expect me to accept work like this?”

“No, daepyonim,” the younger man answers. “I’m sorry. It was my first time, and—”

“And you should be forgiven? Who told you that? Whose rule is that?” Donghyuck challenges, then looks at you. “Y/N? Is that what she said? If you make a mistake, because it’s your first time, you’re forgiven? Is that it?”

You and Chenle remain silent. Donghyuck can’t read your face and would rather not look at you while he’s trying to be angry.

“Now you can’t answer?” he scoffs. “Don’t believe a word Y/N says. She’s leaving, why do you think she’s leaving? If this is such a great job, why would someone working here for seven fucking years leave? This is going to be your life every day. Rethink your fucking choices and get out of my office.”

Chenle nods, bowing before leaving. Donghyuck ignores you and goes back to his work, typing away. You, however, remain silent, just standing there watching him.

“What are you waiting for?” Donghyuck asks calmly. “Do you need me to walk you out of my office?”

“If you’re mad at me,” you say, voice shaking. Donghyuck realizes you’re about to cry. “Don’t take it out on the kid.”

Donghyuck snorts. “He needs to be tough if he wants this job.”

“I—” you start again. Donghyuck waits. But you keep your mouth shut.

Donghyuck keeps his eyes on his monitor and hears the door shut. When you’re gone, he can only watch the door, as if he’s expecting you to come back.

He reckoned it’ll be easier to watch you leave if you hate him. It’ll be easier to watch you leave when your eyes aren’t as bright and warm as they are.

Donghyuck keeps himself locked inside his office for the rest of the day. You leave a message in his inbox, telling him you and Chenle are out for lunch, then another when you returned exactly one hour later. Donghyuck doesn’t have the heart to reply to you.

Later that night, you send him another message saying you and Chenle are logging off for the day. He sighs in relief when he reads it and quickly prepares to leave as well. What he didn’t know is that, you and Chenle are still right outside his door. He stays behind the door.

“Donghyuck’s just stressed,” he hears you say. “You know, Weishen Inc is really big time. Like, if you already think SM Tech is huge, Weishen Inc is like, ten times.”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Chenle replies. The kid’s probably right. “I don’t think I can fill the shoes you’re leaving behind.”

“You’ll be better than me!” you encourage him. “You’re already ten steps ahead with that skill in Microsoft Excel. Donghyuck had to teach me.”

“Really? That asshole has the patience to teach you?”

“Hey!” Then a slap, probably on Chenle’s arm. “Don’t talk shit about your boss.”

“You just told me ‘he can be an asshole sometimes’ literally five hours ago,” Chenle answers. Donghyuck stifles a laugh.

“Well, Donghyuck and I are friends,” you point out. “So, I guess that’s a pass to talk shit about him.”

“Fair,” Chenle agrees. “How did you even become friends with him?”

You chuckle. “I don’t know, Chenle. I guess, because we’ve been working together for seven years, we grew on each other. He was mean. Vile. He was the spawn of the devil when I first met him. But it was only because he was pressured to do well, and he can’t do well if his secretary is incompetent. I know everything I know because of him. That’s why I had to work hard, so that he could succeed in all of his endeavors.”

“So, you work hard for Lee Donghyuck?” the younger one asks.

“Exactly.”

“Well, what about you?”

“That’s why I’m quitting, kid,” you answer. “Time to work hard for me.”

Donghyuck hears them shuffle around, footsteps getting farther and farther away. When Donghyuck hears nothing but silence, he leaves.

Days go by with you and Donghyuck not talking at all. Not even for work.

It’s seven days before you leave, and Donghyuck has given up on making you stay. He doesn’t think it’s worth fighting for anyway, because you’re leaving and nothing’s stopping you. And who is Donghyuck to stop you?

Who is Donghyuck to stop you from living your life and choosing yourself?

If he was being honest, he feels guilty over the fact that you had to live all these years jailed to being his secretary, but at the same time, there’s a needle poking his heart when he wonders why you make working with him sound so miserable. Why it feels like you never wanted any of these. Why seven years suddenly mean nothing but work for you.

Donghyuck wants to ask, what about all those hours when you and him aren’t working?

Nights of drinking at a convenience store because you would rather go home than spend so much money on overpriced drinks at a crowded, loud bar. That entire week of being stuck in the US together because all flights were canceled and the next earliest flight was six days after the original departure. Days of nothing but watching movies in his office because there were no clients to worry about. Dinners with his family, dinners at his place. Weekends in Japan because you and him are stressed and you need some kind of getaway.

Did… did Donghyuck force you all those times? Did you feel like you had to say yes because you’re working for him?

He needs to drink. Donghyuck doesn’t have many friends. He has Jeno, but Jeno is in New York right now. And, well, he had you. He can’t call you for many reasons.

So, he goes alone, of course. He leaves work early, leaving a message to Chenle that you and him can go home whenever. He tells his chauffer he can take the night off, too. Donghyuck doesn’t need anyone tonight. He can take care of himself, thank you very much.

He takes an Uber home, and drives himself after dressing up. He’s planning to get drunk as shit and to get laid tonight, so of course, he needs to look great.

The club is loud when he arrives, and he convinces himself he’s never too old to go clubbing, though with the look of the women’s faces here, he reminds himself to be careful and ask how old they are if he plans to make out with them.

He opens a tab and asks for some rum and coke to start off the night. He can’t remember how many drinks he’s had when he finally gets the courage to go dance and pull a woman wearing a tight, beautiful dress from the crowd. She smells great and Donghyuck feels the curve of her hips when he pulls her close.

And she’s kissing him now. Donghyuck hasn’t kissed anyone in a while, so he doesn’t know if it feels great.

Then she’s touching him everywhere, pushing him until he’s seated on a couch and she’s sitting on his lap. Her tongue is everywhere. One second it’s in his mouth, the next on his neck, and Donghyuck is just drunk as shit and wants to get laid.

How old are you is what he wants to ask but it comes out as: “How old is the hotel?”

“What?” the woman asks. “If you’re horny, we can do it here. There’s a bathroom on the back. Let’s go.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. He’s never had sex in such a scandalous place. Sex should be done in bed. “No. Bed sex only. Hotel, please.”

“You serious?” she asks. Donghyuck nods. “Fucking loser.” Then leaves.

Donghyuck laughs at himself. Yes, he’s definitely a loser. He looks down and his dick is not even hard enough to invite someone for sex. It’s fine though, the woman she was making out with doesn’t have eyes as bright as—

“Fuck off,” he says to no one. “Get the fuck out of my mind.”

He goes back to the bar and take as many tequila shots as he can. It seems like rum wasn’t enough to get you out of his mind, because he’s here to make out with people and have sex with someone but all he can think about is your stupid fucking eyes that he loves so much for some reason he could never comprehend.

Donghyuck doesn’t remember how many shots he’s had now, but his chest starts to hurt so he convinces himself to stop. He hands his card over to the guy at the bar and tells him to give himself KRW 100,000 as a tip. Then he’s out.

Donghyuck is dizzy as fuck when the lights from the streets hit him. He’s stumbling when he reaches his car keys and presses the buttons so he could find his car. It takes long for him to simply get to his car, and Donghyuck is stupid, but he’s not dumb. He’s not making it home alive if he tries to drive now. Perhaps he could sleep in his car all night. Yeah, that’s what he will do.

So, he gets in his car, rolls one of the windows down, and settles himself on the driver’s seat, eyelids heavy.

Then—

His phone rings.

“Y/N, baby,” he drunkenly greets, eyes still closed. “Why are you calling me?”

“Where are you?” you ask, worried. Donghyuck smiles.

“Aw, you miss me, baby?” he asks, giggling.

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m not,” he hiccups. “I was trying to have sex with someone. Apparently, I’m—I’m a loser for wanting to have sex on a bed than a dirty public restroom. How am I a loser for being able to afford a hotel for a one-night stand.”

You sigh on the other line. “Why are you—What are you even, you know what? I don’t want to know. Stay there. I have your location on.”

“No!” he protests. “Don’t come! I don’t want to see you! And I don’t want you to see me like this!”

“Don’t hang up,” you warn. “Are you on the street or something?”

“I’m in my car,” Donghyuck says anyway. “But I don’t want to see you.”

“I’ll wear a face mask so you don’t see me,” you answer. Donghyuck hears you shuffling on the other line, probably driving. How did you even know he’s out tonight?

“Wear sunglasses, too,” Donghyuck suggest. “I don’t want to see your eyes.”

“Okay.”

“No, don’t. I want to see them,” he says. “I probably won’t ever look at you in the eyes sober again.”

“Whatever you want, Donghyuck.”

“I’m about to pass out,” he whines. “Please come quickly. I need to see you before I pass out.”

“I’m nearby.”

“Wait no, don’t drive too fast,” he exclaims. “I need you alive.”

“I’ll be alive. I’m around the corner. Where are you parked?”

“Guess!”

“Donghyuck, I don’t want to play games with you. Please—there you are. Wait for me.”

“I’ll wait for you forever.”

The next scenes go by quickly in Donghyuck’s mind. You help him get out of his car and take him inside yours. You promise him you’ll pick up his car early in the morning and ask him to try to stay awake until you reach his penthouse.

Donghyuck tries his best. Everything is doubled in his sight, but he plays with the tablet connected to your car, and takes out everything you have in the small compartment in front of him. He reads all the labels and even the ingredients of the products you had in there in attempts of staying awake.

And when you reach his home, he realizes how great you smell.

You help him reach his bed and get him out of his clothes because you know he likes to sleep naked. You ask him to drink a glass of water before going to the bathroom, grabbing a towel soaked in warm water.

Donghyuck is already lying on his bed, snuggled in his blankets, when you return. You don’t talk, but Donghyuck thanks you when you start dabbing the towel all over his face then down to his neck and chest.

“Here,” Donghyuck points to the skin below his jaw. “Clean it. She kissed me there.”

Donghyuck is dazed, but he doesn’t miss the way you stopped as soon as he said that. “Clean me everywhere. Because she kissed me everywhere.”

And so, you do. You clean him everywhere, and Donghyuck feels you press harder on his skin, gliding the rough side of the towel harshly.

“Where else?” you ask. Donghyuck is already half asleep. “Where else did she kiss you?”

Donghyuck weakly points to his lips, one eye open. “Here.”

He watches you leave, going back inside his bathroom, and return with another towel, a cup and a bottle of mouthwash. He does his best to get up when you help him. You hand him the mouthwash, reminding him not to swallow it, and wait for him to clean his mouth. Once he’s done, you wipe his mouth with a clean towel, putting everything on his side table, and Donghyuck you’re sitting so close to Donghyuck now.

You’re holding him so tight, face inches away from him.

“Sleep, Donghyuck,” you whisper. Donghyuck leans closer. “Please.”

“I want to kiss you,” he confesses. “Kiss me. Please.”

“Donghyuck, let’s not do something you will regret later.”

“I won’t regret it because I won’t remember,” he answers. “Please kiss me.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know why he’s surprised when you do. He’s naked and you’re sitting on his bed, kissing him. And you’re kissing him like it’s all you ever wanted. You started softly kissing him, like you’re testing the waters or kissing something so delicate, like you’re scare you would break it, but Donghyuck pulls you closer, holds you by your jaw, and invites himself inside your mouth.

The next thing he knows, you’re sitting right on top of his boner and he’s unbuttoning your shirt and kissing everywhere, biting, nipping, licking—and God, you taste good. Better than he imagined. He’s about to unclasp your bra when you stop him.

“Donghyuck,” you whisper. “Let’s do this when you’re sober, yeah?”

Donghyuck nods like a child, and his boner hurts, he just wants to bust a nut, but agrees anyway.

He doesn’t remember much after that. He passes out as soon as you kiss him on the forehead with a promise of seeing him tomorrow. 

When he wakes up the next morning, he remembers everything.

Two days before your departure and Donghyuck is yet to get the courage to speak with you.

He called in sick after the incident five nights ago and has been avoiding you like plague. Today, however, is the day the folks from Weishen Inc is vising SM Tech for his presentation, and he’s nothing but a bunch of nerves all morning.

He assumes he’s forgiven for everything when you step inside his office with a chamomile tea in hand. You know he can’t present anything properly without drinking chamomile tea first.

“You’re going to be great,” you offer with a small smile. “I’ll be there with you.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sure Weishen will agree with the partnership,” you assure. “You worked so hard on this.”

“We,” he corrects. “You did more than I have. I’m all confidence and talk; you’re the research and brain.”

“Guess this is why we’re the best partners,” you joke. “We balance each other out.”

Donghyuck chuckles. “I wish you didn’t have to leave.”

You nod. “I know.”

“Tomorrow’s your last day.”

“Tomorrow’s my last day,” you agree. “But that’s tomorrow. Today, we’ll secure your partnership with Weishen Inc.”

“We will.”

Of course, you and Donghyuck secured the partnership. You and him were the best team the world has ever known.

“The team prepared a goodbye party at the pantry for you,” Chenle says when you, him, and Donghyuck are walking back from the board room to Donghyuck’s office. “If you have nothing to do now, can we go?”

“Chenle, baby,” you say. “I don’t think you’re supposed to tell me.”

Chenle gasps. “I’m not?”

“It’s a surprise,” Donghyuck mumbles. “Jeno and his team prepared it. Chenle, you were supposed to ask her to grab coffee from the pantry.”

You laugh at Chenle’s distress. ”Nuna! I’m so sorry!"

You assure the younger one it’s okay, and ask Donghyuck’s permission if you could go, which Donghyuck agreed to, of course. There wasn’t anything else to do for the rest of the day, anyway. The only thing everybody had going on today was the business proposal presentation for Weishen Inc. and since that’s done, you were free to go.

“Donghyuck,” you call when Donghyuck was about to go back inside his office. “Please come. I want you to be there.”

Donghyuck nods. “I’ll be on my way. Just have to check something.”

You nod back, smiling, and Donghyuck feels like he’s about to cry. It’s all bittersweet, and Donghyuck wonders how he could stretch the day longer tomorrow.

He quickly takes the small box that’s been sitting inside his drawer for weeks now and runs back outside to the pantry.

When he gets there, everyone’s gathered around you, and he knows you’re crying already because he could hear Chenle teasing you.

He sees Jeno who smiles at him knowingly, and your other colleagues you’ve gotten close with over the last seven years. He even sees Jung Sungchan that he’s forgotten about now, and he’s not bothered that the younger man hugs you as you cry. Chenle pops the champagne open, and starts to pour some to as many people as he can.

It’s Jeno who raises a toast. “To Y/N, thank you for your seven long years of service with SM Tech. We wouldn’t have gotten where we are now if you weren’t with us. You literally bring us all together because Donghyuck is Donghyuck, God knows he wouldn’t work with anyone. So, if it weren’t for you, Client Solutions and SM Tech itself wouldn’t be a success. To Y/N, you’re finally free from Lee Donghyuck!”

You laugh at the message. Jeno turns to Donghyuck. “Donghyuck, wanna say something?”

Donghyuck thinks. He has a lot to say. A lot of things to thank you for, countless of things to apologize for, many things to celebrate, but very little comes out when he’s surrounded with a crowd like this.

Therefore, he says the only thing he could muster up: “You and I will always be the best team the world’s ever known.”

The crowd cheers, and you continue crying.

Donghyuck raises a glass, drinks it in one go, then leaves, the small box in his pocket heavy.

It’s you who finds Donghyuck in the rooftop hours later.

He never realized how comforting this place can be. Because he was only ever here during his first two years working when he had to smoke his stress off from his body. The sun has set, and all Donghyuck could see are the lights from the streets and the buildings around SM Tech.

“Hey, stranger,” you tell him, sitting right beside him on the bench.

He only smiles and continues to stare ahead.

“Are you alright?” you ask.

Donghyuck chuckles. “Y/N, if you’re here to say goodbye, please don’t.”

“I’m not saying goodbye, Donghyuck,” you answer. “I was looking for you. You left.”

“I,” he starts. “I can’t handle that kind of atmosphere. You know that.”

You nod. “I figured. We took pictures. I wanted you there.”

Donghyuck remains silent. He lays his hand on top of his thigh, the one closer to you, and he lays it with his palm facing the sky, open, waiting for yours. You don’t need another second to figure it out.

It’s not the first time you’re holding hands. You held Donghyuck’s hand multiple times in this lifetime, and he held yours countless of times, but this one feels different.

You hold his hand like an assurance. Of what? Donghyuck isn’t sure. But he feels warm despite how cold it is up here. Like an assurance. Like certainty.

There were many things that Lee Donghyuck wasn’t sure of; things like getting that CEO role in the next couple of years, like how he’ll be able to make it without you outside his office, like how he can ensure that the partnership with Weishen Inc will run for a long time—even things like what would happen tomorrow. He’s always believed that his life is full of uncertainties despite receiving everything in a silver platter and that his life is crazy in many ways.

But here, under the starless sky of Seoul, he’s found the only thing he’s certain about and the only thing in his life that makes sense: you.

It’s you who have been with him in the past seven years. You who holds his hand at his lowest and cheers the loudest in his best. You who have always been gentle and kind and everything the world could never be. It’s you, the one he has loved for a long time without him knowing.

And he hopes it’s not too late.

When you decided to leave, he thought that the selfish part of him only needed you so he could succeed in his goals, because you have always been with him every step of the way from the day he started. Then he realized, you quitting would mean he would no longer see you every day, would no longer have someone to hold his hand when needs it, would no longer have someone laugh at his stupid jokes and tolerate his bullshit decisions, would no longer have anyone listen to him, would no longer have anyone to buy gifts for every Christmas, would no longer have anyone smile proudly at him every day.

Donghyuck cannot imagine a life without you. And when you said you were quitting because you wanted to get away from him, it hit Donghyuck like a fucking truck: you didn’t want him more than someone you’re working for, when all he’s ever really wanted is you. He goes to pointless dates thinking about you, whether you’d eaten or not, if you like the new album from that band you and him like, if you’d seen the new Avatar movie. And you were there, thinking of him only as Lee Donghyuck, the man you work for.

Which is why he’s so bitter about you leaving. Because you weren’t only leaving SM Tech. You were leaving Donghyuck.

But you’re here now. And you’re holding his hand, and Donghyuck wants, wants, wants.

Donghyuck wants you.

“I—”

“You—”

You giggle. “Alright, you go first.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “I’ll throw up if I go first. You go first.”

You nod. “I’m going to miss you.” You smile.

“I miss you already,” Donghyuck whines. “But, go on.”

“I’m sure you remember what happened that night that’s why you called in sick all week,” you say. Donghyuck can blame the cold for the blush on his face. “And I remember, vividly. And I don’t regret it.”

Donghyuck nods. He doesn’t know what to say. He should’ve gone first.

“Do you regret it?” you ask, hopeful.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Not one bit. I was scared you did. So, I ran away.”

“Why did you go out kissing other women,” you breathe. “When I’ve been waiting for a long, long time now?”

It’s Donghyuck who stops breathing when you say it. And he can’t believe you’re saying this now, because how long? How long have you two been blindly pining for each other like this? Why did it have to take you leaving for you to realize it.

“It’s true what they say,” you suddenly say. “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Donghyuck, I won’t wait for that to happen for me to tell you how important you are to me. I won’t wait until you’re gone for you to know how much you mean to me. I’m sorry if I made you feel like the last seven years mean nothing to me—that’s not at all the case. I love you, and it sounds ridiculous when I say this but I’m leaving because I do. Love you. So much. You cannot imagine how much I do, and I’m scared that I might only love you because I’m with you all the time, which is why I’m leaving. I’m leaving and I’ll be my own person and I’ll still love you.”

“Y/N…” Donghyuck struggles. “I thought you were leaving because you didn’t want me anymore.”

“I’ve never not wanted you, Donghyuck,” you confess. “I can’t remember a time that I didn’t love you.”

Donghyuck’s tongue is tied. So, he does the next best thing.

The ring that’s been kept in pocket is beautiful when he opens it towards your direction. “It’s not a proposal,” he says right away.

“It’s a promise?” you ask, teasingly. “I told you. You’re as corny as it can get.”

“I’m literally going to throw this ring out there,” Donghyuck replies. “Show me some respect. You still work for me.”

“That’s hot.”

“Y/N!”

He closes the box and hands it over to you. “It’s yours. That’s my heart and it’s yours. You keep it if you want to. Put it back in my desk first thing in the morning if you don’t.”

You take it with both hands. “And if I wear it?”

“Then it means your heart is mine, too.”

Normally, you would snicker and say something along the lines of cheesy and unoriginal, so, Donghyuck is surprised when you lean over and give him a peck on his cheek. Donghyuck blushes even more.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Lee Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck smiles warmly, hand finding yours again. You stand and go back inside the building. He turns so he can watch you leave, and the past few weeks, simply watching you step out of his office leaves a heavy weight on his chest, but this time around he watches you with a happy, content heart, knowing that he’ll see you again tomorrow—not for the last time; tomorrow and every day, he hopes. Love always, he hopes.

[bonus: your POV]

Your last day in SM Tech isn’t as eventful as the day before. It’s mostly handing over your access badges and endorsing everything to Chenle and leaving all the reminders to Donghyuck’s desk.

You’ve bid farewell to mostly everyone, and you haven’t seen Donghyuck yet because he came in earlier than everyone else to meet his grandfather in the Chairman’s office. The ring on your finger is beautiful, and you can’t help but anticipate Donghyuck’s reaction when he sees it.

Lunch goes by, and Donghyuck is still in the Chairman’s office. You spend the rest of the day with Chenle, ensuring that you’ve endorsed everything. Jeno stops by a couple of times, checking on you and Donghyuck.

It’s around four in the afternoon when you see Donghyuck from the hallway, speaking with another VP, and he’s dressed so prettily today, a dark suit and tie, hair pushed back—handsome. You stand as he bids goodbye to the others, and you know he’s tired from the way his eyelids are drooping heavily even from afar. And when he sees you, God, when he sees you, he sighs in relief, eyes brighter than ever, as he walks towards you.

“I’m sorry, the chairman needed all his VPs all day today, none of us expected it,” he explains as soon as he reaches you. He hasn’t bothered to look at your hand yet. “You’ve had lunch, yes?”

You nod. “Chenle and I ordered sushi. You?”

“Yeah, the chairman prepared an entire banquet for us,” he answers. “Chenle, do you mind if I take Y/N away for a minute?

Chenle nods. “She’s all yours, daepyonim.”

Donghyuck smiles and takes you hand (the one without a ring), pulling you towards his office. You see Chenle smiling teasingly back in his desk.

As soon as the door is shut, Donghyuck pulls you into a hug, sighing in relief. “I needed this. And I’m sorry. It’s your last day here and I’m supposed to be by your side but you know, duty calls.”

“It’s fine,” you say, pulling back so you can look at his face, all tired and sleepy. You reach up. “You poor thing. We can go home early, if you want.”

“Yeah, I would—” You caress his face with both hands, and there, finally. “You’re wearing it.”

You nod, “Because my heart is yours.”

Donghyuck grimaces. “You’re right. It’s corny.”

“I told you.” You poke a tongue at him. “Now, may I kiss you?”

“I need a minute,” he says and you frown up at him. He untangles himself from you and walks over to his desk. “All you access have been deactivated, right?”

“Yeah,” you confirm. “At exactly 4pm, my Outlook no longer allowed me to login.”

“Alright,” he says and types something on his computer. “I just need to send one important e-mail and we can go.”

Your phone buzzes from the pocket of your suit. You take it and look at the notification: a new e-mail from your personal inbox. You look up back to Donghyuck, and he’s walking back towards you with a stupid, handsome smile on his face.

You shake your head, chuckling, as you open the new e-mail.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected]

Subject: Invitation

Greetings!

I hope this e-mail finds you well. You are cordially invited for an exclusive dinner with me tonight at your choice of restaurant, with an optional (and highly encouraged) offer to cuddle at my penthouse after.

Looking forward to your response.

Love always,

ONE, THEY MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.

You laid sprawled on your couch as your friends continued to gossip. This was a normal thing, you’d invite your friends over, have a few drinks and gossip would ensure. You didn’t mind it, truth be told, but there was a reason today was particularly sour.

Na Jaemin, Huang Renjun, and Lee Jeno had crashed your impromptu get together. Well, more like Yeji invited them, bless her heart. But did she really have to? Her explanation was that her and your other friend Chaewon ran into them on campus. From there, they had invited the boys to drink with them. 

Sure, you get it, the boys paid for the alcohol. But really? Was it necessary?

They had taken all the attention away, practically commanding the room, and you couldn’t stand it. Of course! Here come’s buff jock Jeno, charming Jaemin, and pretty boy Renjun to steal the spotlight. And you detested all of it.

You and Karina sat with mild scowls on your faces, her’s from her lack of knowing other guests were invited. Being your roommate, she had done little besides change into a fresh pair of sweatpants and t-shirt, not expecting boys to come over. She freaked out for like five minutes after opening the door, you assuring her that she looked fine, but she was peeved for lack of warning anyways. 

She took the loss and just decided to sit in self loathing over these boys seeing her without makeup. Doing little to contribute to the conversation, you just twisted the string on your hoodie as they called out your name. 

“Do you have any lemons?” Jeno asks, looking over at you. His tone somewhat softer, trying not to piss you off. Even though he was already failing.

You barely even realize its you that he’s addressing, having tuned everyone out. You almost roll your eyes as your face scrunches upon realization of his question. “Why do you need lemons?” 

“Jaemin likes his vodka with some lemon juice.” He explains, the other staring at you expectantly before looking between you two. 

Of course he does, you just sigh and get off your spot in the couch. Karina follows after you, clinging onto you as a source of warmth. She didn’t want to be left alone without you after all.

“What kind of guy drinks their vodka like that? Be a man!” She mutters, pulling out a cutting board and knife as you open your refrigerator in search of the lemon. 

“I don’t even know if we have one.” You say, standing in front of your fridge with your hands on your hips. Digging through the drawers, you pull out the only round object to be found. “We have a lime.” 

Karina snorts and grabs it from you, slicing it in half. “It’ll have to do.” 

You laugh at her remark as she makes her way back into the living room with the wedges of lime. Karina was your oldest friend, you two meeting in middle school. Attending university and living with her was a no brainer, and it was going really well. During your freshmen year, you two had met Yeji in the library, Karina befriending her after basically living there during exam season. You two welcomed her into your friendship shortly after that. She then introduced you to her desk partner in finance class, which was Chaewon. You guys all clicked and that led to your little found family that you had here. 

You hoped these boys didn’t expect to squeeze their way into this sisterhood. 

Karina hands Jaemin the lime, shrugging as he looks at it, then back at her. He awkwardly smiles and squeezes it into his drink. Though you can definitely tell he thinks this is the worst thing in the world, well at least he’s polite. 

You and Karina go back to practically cuddling on the couch, her head right next to yours as you share a blanket. For the next ten minutes, you two sit in silence showing each other pictures on your phone, to which earns a nod or a hum of agreement. 

The others sit on the floor, around your rectangular coffee table, with the bottles all over it. Yeji nudges Chaewon though, tilting her heads towards you two. You guys were usually so loud, had something happened? 

Yes, something happened. Boys happened. 

“Don’t you guys wanna sit down here?” Chaewon asks, patting the carpeted ground next to her. “And have a drink maybe? I haven’t even seen you two touch your cups.” 

Renjun speaks up. “Yeah, you guys should come talk!” 

“We,” You begin, gesturing a between you and Karina. “Are talking plenty.”

“How’s the lime, by the way?” Karina speaks up, smirking at Jaemin. 

Jaemin just gives a forced smile and a thumbs up, though his drink remains untouched minus a sip. And even that, was a stretch. 

Yeji gestures for you two to come sit, giving you two a stern look this time. She definitely was just wondering why you guys were acting so reclusive. She’s adamant, you’ll give her that. 

Deciding that, maybe you’ve had enough attitude for one day, you take Chaewon up on her offer, plopping next to her. The spots also next to Renjun, who you deem to be the most bearable of the boys, so its not too bad. Karina sits on the opposite side of Chaewon, sandwiched between her and Yeji. Damn, you should’ve thought of that first. 

“So, are you all single, or what?” Jeno asks, pouring himself another shot. He asks only out of genuine curiosity, but you think your demeanor spoke for itself.

You lied, you can never have enough attitude in one singular day. 

Yeji nods. “Yeah, for a while now.” 

“Can I ask why?” Jaemin asks, taking a sip of his drink. “I find it hard to believe none of you have found anyone you’ve liked here.” 

“Why is that hard to believe? I find boys quite insufferable.” You speak, finally letting yourself have a taste of that vodka. The boys turn to you and you smile back sarcastically, having no qualms about what you had said. 

“That’s why.” Chaewon sits up, looking at you. “We have this sort of, pact thing.” 

“You really wanna get into this now, Chae?” Karina pipes up, knowing how this usually goes. 

“A pact?!” Jeno looks confused. 

“We have this rule, since we started this year, that we wouldn’t date anyone. You know, to keep our focus on academics and our jobs.” Yeji explains, the boys looking at you like you were all crazy. This was the normal response, shocked and somewhat disappointed looks, not like you cared though.

“So what? Plenty of people do that and still have relationships.”

“We’re just trying to stay as focused as possible.” Karina defends, shooting you a knowing look.

“There is however,” Chaewon starts, putting down her empty glass. “One exception to the rule.”

“Well?” Jaemin asks, leaning closer like a kid waiting to be told an answer. 

“Yn is the most responsible one between all of us. If anyone can do both, it’s them. Therefore, if she gets a boyfriend, the rest of us are free to date!” 

“That sounds stupid.” Renjun deadpans, and you’d kind of agree. It wasn’t even your idea anyways, they just held you to such a standard that they believed the day you got a boyfriend would be the end to all. Therefore, they placed their bets on staying focused onto you staying single. Normally, you’d be offended, but so far it was shaping up to be true. 

“We take this super serious as well.” Yeji nods. “Absolutely no boyfriends unless she has one. It’s just the pact of this friend group.” 

“Plus, Yn runs from boys like the plague. So it only seems viable to stake our academic performance on her.” Karina adds on, shooting you a teasing smile.

“Wow thanks guys.” You mumble. “I feel so loved.” 

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “You don’t have a boyfriend because you don’t want one. We are just following in your example.” 

“So basically, this exception is impossible. Which is why you put it as one?” Renjun tries to follow and all the girls nod in response. 

Oh Jaemin was in deep shit now. He knew about you, everyone in the room did. You laughed in the face of anyone who tried to romantically peruse you, not that they wanted to anymore anyways. Last time he heard a boy try to hit on you, it ended horribly for the entire hockey team.

 To put it plainly, you were never going to get a boyfriend. 

Jaemin wishes he had known about this before he fell head over heels for Chaewon. How could he not? That girl is perfect! But now upon hearing about her absolute refusal to date, this only meant certain rejection for him. He wanted to just be swallowed into your deep shaggy carpet, just let Jeno pry him out with a stick or something. This was just mission impossible, and he was no Tom Cruise.

“So none of you have dated before?” Jaemin asks, hoping he can get a hopeful response out of his crush. 

“I had a boyfriend when I met Yn,” Karina starts, face turning sour. “Let’s just say there’s a reason I was down for this agreement.” 

“Never had time.” Yeji looks away, clearly embarrassed at sharing her lack of relationships. 

“Me neither!” Chaewon agrees, and Jaemin all but deflates. She was absolutely unattainable, as if she wasn’t before, it’s even more amplified now! 

“And you?” Renjun asks, giving you a small smile as he tries to include you in the conversation. Though, you're not really having it. 

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s not like I’m getting one now.” And with that you decide to find solace in your phone, choosing to ignore the rest of the conversation for the night. If only it was that simple.

TWO, THEY’RE LIARS.

Damn it, after all the kindness (read: not killing him.) you had showed Renjun, he does this to you! He’s around fifteen minutes late, leaving you to awkwardly muddle around the stores front door. Goodness, you look like a loiterer. 

You two had struck up an unconventional friendship after meeting again at your favorite burger place. You recognized him, and normally you would’ve walked off and pretended you didn’t know him. But you were caught off guard by his hat, and you just had to know where he got it from. He actually admitted that he crocheted it himself and you practically jumped up. This led to you rambling about how badly you wanted to learn to crochet. So, after exchanging numbers, you two agreed to meet at the craft store to pick up supplies. Afterwards he would help you learn crochet patters and all that good stuff. 

But he’s late, and you’re about to discard Renjun as another “Failed Male.” on your list. All in all, it’s a list of males you’ve given a chance to, friendship wise, that had proved you right every single time. (Lee Jeno was on that list.) Renjun’s liar status was slowly creeping up right about now. 

Hearing a car door slam, you spot Renjun pushing his hair back from his face, running towards you. He’s in a full on sprint, and he looks apologetic. 

The boy in the drivers seat, who you recognize as Mark Lee, offers you a smile and wave. You manage to offer one back, what a weird kid.

Renjun slows as he approaches. He looks stressed as he speaks. “Sorry I’m late, Mark clogged his toilet and he doesn’t have a plunger in his apartment and-”

You cut him off. “Hey, whoa it’s fine. I’ll be honest, I thought you had ditched me, but hearing you were just unclogging toilets made me feel a little better.” 

He stifles a laugh and just heads into the store, you following behind. This stores was huge, and with all these materials, you could likely be in here for days. Renjun’s familiar with it though, so he leads you straight to the needles and yarn.

Hm, maybe he’s not so bad after all. For one, he seems helpful with his friends, and he’s spending a chunk of his time hanging out with some random girl. He was alright in your book, and definitely not just because he was helping you.

Grabbing a couple patters and some yarn, Renjun throws it into the cart you’re pushing. Standing before the needles he looks around. “I have no idea what the best needle for a beginner would be.” 

You blink, who else would know? “What needle did you start with?” 

“My grandma gave it to me, I don’t know the millimeters on it or anything.” He shrugs, grabbing the needle set that looks most like his. 

You just agree, not like you had a choice anyways. About fifteen minutes later, you two push the cart into the lengthy line. Renjun had grabbed a few things for himself as well, saying he could never have too much yarn. You started conversing about which pattern to try first when his phone rings. 

He shoots you an excuse me, and pulls out his phone, groaning at the sight before answering it. The person on the other end speaks frantically as Renjun tries to keep up with his reponses. “Hello? What? No-”

He’s cut off by the voice on the other side loudly shouting. “Fine! I don’t care, I’m just with Yn so...No! You’re disgusting.”

You watch as he hangs up abruptly, pushing his phone back into his pocket as he sighs. “It was Donghyuck.”

“Who?” 

“Haechan,” Renjun clarifies but watches as you still look confused. “Lee Haechan.” 

Though your expression remains as you shrug. “Never heard of him.”

“Well,” Renjun starts but waves himself off. “Doesn’t matter, he was calling saying he had a girl over. He’s my roommate, and hes loud.”

You laugh a little. “Try living with Karina.”

“No,” He shakes his head. “Haechan is like living with fifteen Karinas, but they’re all men, and they’re all really horny.”

“Ew?!” You manage, watching how Renjun was dead serious as you laugh at his expense. 

“They’re all messy too!”

Before you can comment back, the two of you make your way to an open register as the number is called. The man bags your things and you head out, excited to finally start this intimidating hobby you were interested in.

“So to my place then?” You ask, assuming this Haechan wouldn’t want you around if he’s boning someone. Renjun just groans, “But my patterns are at my place, I wanted to work on one of my projects.”

You don’t know what to say. “We can go pick them up?”

“Then sneak out and hope his fuck buddy doesn’t hear us?” Renjun continues, but the more he thinks about, the more he thinks he can do it. It couldn't be that bad anyways, right? Then he's reminded of his whole mission today. “I’m crocheting a bunny and I really need those patterns.” 

You wait for him to continue as he looks like he has more to say. So you offer a simple, “Cute.”

“It’s for a girl,” He resumes, his face heating up slightly as he thinks of her. “I really wanted to finish it as soon as possible, so I could ask her to be my girlfriend. Bunnies are her favorite animal.” 

“Awe!” You beam, that was such a cute gesture. Your heart fluttered for something as adorable as that. “Renjun, that’s so sweet!”

“Really? Funny coming from the romance hater.”

You roll your eyes as he kills the mood. You didn’t exactly hate it, it was just something that left you scarred. Something you didn’t care for much anymore. Though, sometimes you can’t suppress the little hopeless romantic in the back of your mind. Renjun doesn’t have to know all that though. “I don’t hate romance, I just find it rather trivial.” 

“I find you rather trivial.” Renjun remarks back sarcastically and you can’t help but laugh at how stupid he is. He fake winces as you hit him on the shoulder. 

“Let’s get you those patterns loverboy!”

“Don’t call me-” But you slam your car door closed before he can continue. You just wait for him to slide into your drivers seat, unamused expression still present on his face.

He grabs your phone as you hand it to him and inputs his address. “Is this the first time you’ve gone to a guys house?”

“Very funny.” You scoff, facing the road. “I’ll have you know I’ve been to a guys house before.”

“That’s surprising.”

You fight the urge to playfully (kinda) hit him on his arm again. Opting instead to turn up your radio and make the ride without anymore stabs at your love life.

It doesn’t take long for you to arrive there. Renjun was really helpful with directions and where to park, so now all that was left was getting the stuff.

“You want me to go in alone?” Renjun asks, like he can’t believe the girl he’s known for a week doesn’t want to enter his apartment with him. You knew Renjun sure, but you had watched too many crime shows to not be a little cautious.

“Why wouldn’t you?” You ask, genuinely as he frowns.

“Just come grab them with me, I need another set of hands for my yarn too!” Renjun pleads as he continues to beg, you sighing as you give in.

“Fine!” And you turn your car off as you follow behind him slowly. You wish you had more resilience but you just wanted to get back into the warm confines of your room so, who could blame you? You watch as Renjun unlocks his apartment and listens in as he’s met with silence.

“That’s weird-“ Renjun starts but is cut off by a loud moan. You mentally beat yourself up for agreeing to enter with him.

“If I have to hear it, so do you.” Renjun continues as he enters his apartment further, and you just stand still. How could he so calm about this? You weren't a prude or anything, but you'd think you'd die of embarrassment if you came home to your roommate moaning up a storm. “Well come on, the yarns in my room!”

You just stand in disbelief, before hastily walking behind him. You couldn’t believe this. He goes to what you assume is his room and fumbled with the door, only to realize it’s locked.

“Is this not your room?” You tease, eyebrow raising. He gives you a glare as he tries to open his door again, still not budging.

“Of course this is my room. How big of an idiot do you think I am?” Renjun shoots back, and you almost laugh with how quick he is.

“Well..” You pretend to think and he looks halfway offended.

“I don’t remember leaving it locked when," He changes the subject as he trails. A look of realization on his face. "Oh my god.”

“What?” You asked, sure something was dawning on Renjun, but you were lost. He basically freezes in place as he stares at his door knob and the tips of his ears turn red.

You’re both derailed by another chorus of moans striking the air, but this time it’s apparent who’s room they’re coming from. It’s Renjun’s.

“You freaks!” Renjun screams, pounding on the door. “Open this damn door Haechan or I will pull it off the hinges and throw it at your big ass head!”

Once again, you’re quiet in disbelief. Almost managing to stuffer a soft “What?”

“It’s a kink he has. Fucking idiot does this to me even though I told him to stop!" Renjun shouts the last part so that his friend can hear, though he's met with no response. He bangs on the door again, "You're gonna pay for this!"

A laugh comes from inside his room as, who you assume to be Haechan, teases him. "Yeah right, what're you gonna do? Fuck that Yn girl on my bed?"

"You two are fucking on my bed?!" Renjun shrieks, ignoring the dig Haechan took at you. Geez, he sounded like a complete dickhead.

"What? You thought we were on the floor?" Haechan responds, the girl trying, yet failing, to stifle her moans.

"Oh my god, this is the worst day of my life." You whisper, jaw slacked.

"Of your life?!" Renjun yelps, staring blankly at his door. "I'm going to need all new sheets."

You tug on his arm, wanting to sprint out of there. "Lets just go, you can make that bunny another day."

"I'm going to kill him." Renjun groans, pulling back slightly before giving up and treading out of his apartment. You just keep your mouth closed as Renjun's face sours.

"Wanna sleep on my couch?" You offer, knowing you'd want someone to do the same if that had just happened. "I know you're going to have to like.. burn those covers."

"If it's not a big deal," Renjun trails, thinking about it. "Yeah I would."

"Fun!" You clap your hands. "We can have a sleepover! I can do your nails and show you my favorite movie-"

"Please shut up already." He rolls his eyes as he pushes you out of the elevators towards your car as you giggle. "This is going to be a long night."

..

About ten blocks away lays Na Jaemin, on his couch as he stares at his phone, awaiting another text from Chaewon. The two have been talking a lot recently, albeit on a friendly level, but he's spoken to her enough to know he's definitely whipped.

Jeno, his roommate, walks into the room as he stays glued to his own device. Although he's in a Chaewon induced haze of love, Jaemin notices that odd behavior. Jeno isn't one to be on his phone like that, so what was so interesting? "Who are you texting?"

"Karina." The other responds, eyes not leaving his phone for a second as he takes a seat on the couch opposite of Jaemin.

"Seriously?" Jaemin begins, and Jeno rolls his eyes, knowing what the other is implying. Jaemin sits up slightly, "She's off limits."

"Yeah and so is Chaewon," Jeno pauses, giving the other a dirty look. "But that isn't stopping you."

Jaemin wants to launch the nearest pillow in Jeno's face. "I actually like Chae-"

Jeno interrupts him before he can continue proclaiming his love. "Chill out, it's not even like that. Karina's just texting me about Renjun."

"She's into Renjun?!"

"No!" Jeno responds, annoyed. "He's just crashing on her couch."

"Boring." Jaemin says, refreshing his DM's to see if he missed a reply from his crush yet. Surprise surprise, he didn't. "I'm never going to get a chance with Chaewon, am I?"

Jeno shrugs, finally placing his phone down as he gets to grab a bottled water from the fridge. "There are other girls."

"She isn't just some girl," Jaemin responds, sincere in his words. "I really like her, man."

"Well then do something about it."

And Jaemin just might have to.

THREE, THEY DON'T MIND THEIR BUSINESS.

"So you really did bone?" Lee Haechan stands against your door as you fight the urge to slam it in his face. Your face is showing clear signs of displeasure at this stranger standing at your front door, but if he noticed, he sure wasn't doing anything to brighten your mood. But then again, he's just a guy, what more did you expect from him?

"It's really none of your business." You declare, not backing down. If he wanted an argument, then who were you to refuse?

"Whatever, Renjun will fuck anything that walks." And that statement sounds so funny coming out of the mouth of someone who'll actually fuck anything, according to Renjun. Who was he to slutshame anyways?

"What? Are you self projecting right now?"

Haechan opens his mouth to speak again but you stop him with a glare and a wave of your hand. "Let me just go wake Renjun so you can get off my damn property."

Leaving Haechan at your front door, you shake Renjun awake by his shoulders as he lays. He lays as still as a rock, not reacting to your small "Wake up, Haechan's here to take you home."

Renjun groans in response, stretching as he mutters out a "Tell him to fuck off."

"Good luck with that." You smirk, holding back a laugh. "Don't forget you have to spray your room for bed bugs later."

"You're not funny." Renjun shoots back but ironically lets out a laugh. He's still half asleep as he lazily makes his way to your front door. Yet, upon spotting Haechan, he seems to be wide awake.

"What the hell are you even doing here?!" Renjun all but shouts, "I should beat your ass right here for that stunt you pulled!"

"Stunt?! I was pleasing a girl, something you would know nothing about! Especially if Yn's attitude is any indicator, you must be a bad lay." Haechan cackles, yet the two of you remain anything but amused.

"If you actually payed attention to your friend, you might know he actually has someone he likes." You step in, tired of the comments. "And it's not me."

"So? Doesn't mean he can't sleep with someone else." Haechan furrows his brows at your statement. His eyes widen upon realization of what you're saying. "Awe, you're so naive to think that. It's kind of cute honestly."

"Get out." You say through gritted teeth. Haechan backs up and you watch Renjun step out of your apartment, knowing he had to leave too if you wanted any peace in your own place. "Renjun, you can-"

"No I'd better go, I have to knock this one's head against the wall." He nods, promptly grabbing Haechan by the ear as the other protests. Dragging him away as he leans down, letting out a string of ow's in his wake. You just watch, he deserved it anyways.

..

"Why have I been seeing Lee Haechan everywhere?!" You exhale, stabbing a fork into your food. You and your friends were having lunch outside on a picnic table on campus, shaded by the strong oak tree's nearby. It's such a beautiful day, but the proximity of an unwanted face makes your mood dampen.

Karina chews her food. "You sure you're not imagining him?"

You put your fork down. "If I was imaging someone, it'd be like.. Song Kang or someone hot! Haechan is like a rodent!"

"Rodent is a little harsh, no?" Yeji scrunches her nose, picking something off of Karina's plate. "He seems nice enough."

"Nice?!" You groan, looking to Karina. "Help me out here."

Karina just shrugs. "I haven't met him."

"And yet he's literally everywhere." You stare blankly at the open grass next to you. There sits Haechan, accompanied by Mark Lee and a boy you don't recognize. They're talking to girls, smiling as Haechan puts his full flirting charms to those poor victims. You pity them.

"Jaemin say's he's funny." Chaewon interjects, like Jaemin's opinion was worth a damn in your book.

Still you vocalize. "Funny doesn't mean he's a good person."

"I just don't get why you hate him so much." Yeji speaks, pointing her spoon at you as she chews.

You roll your eyes before crossing your arms. "If you heard the way he spoke to me, you'd hate him too."

"I don't doubt it." Karina admits, taking a sip from her water bottle. "But I also just think you're beginning to give him way too much attention."

"What?! How?! First, he violates Renjun's bed and makes us listen to those moans. Then, he shows up to my house like a maniac the next morning and then starts insisting we slept together, like it even mattered!" You scoff, the girls listening to your rant. "But not before making several inappropriate comments about me!"

"Since when did you care what a man had to say?" Yeji raises her brows as she awaits your response. She was somewhat right, you usually never gave a man this time of day over simple remarks. But Haechan just managed to get under your skin far more than anyone ever had.

Chaewon jumps in before you can formulate a response back though. Keeping her voice low, as he leans in a hushed tone. "So did you sleep with Renjun?"

"Chaewon!"

"I was just asking-"

"Wait?" Yeji stops, putting her hands down on the table. "Since when are we allowed to sleep with people?"

"What do you mean?" Karina looks at her. "I've had hookups since the agreement, I thought it was just serious relationships out of the question."

"Oh my god. I could've been fucking Changmin from creative writing class, this entire time?!" Yeji asks, mouth agape as she mourns a missed opportunity.

"Yes.." Chaewon trails. "Though, I don't see why you'd want to."

"Hey!" Yeji defends and the two begin bickering. They always had the opposite type in boys, never agreeing on a males attractiveness. So it was safe to say you were used to the silly little arguments.

Chaewon say's something about his short hair while Yeji starts to point out how the other likes 'stick skinny' boys. This then prompts Chaewon to go on a tirade about how 'muscles don't matter."

You're so wrapped up in the two's words that you fail to notice approaching figures in the corner. That is until the girls still and Karina greets, "Hey Mark."

Your head whips around and low and behold, there standing (a little awkwardly) is Mark Lee. You could've sworn just ten seconds ago he was across the field, curse you letting your guard down.

Honestly, Mark isn't all that bad, its the two he's brought with him that are trouble. And as Haechan flashes you a smirk, you really wish they would've stayed across that damn grass.

"Jungwoo! I haven't seen you in a while." Yeji says, the aforementioned boy rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

"I dropped the class we had together." The guy you've learned is named Jungwoo, responds. "I'm an engineering major now."

"No need for British literature there, huh?" Your friend responds back as Jungwoo laughs.

Yet you can't bring yourself to laugh at anything, given how Haechan had made himself comfortable at the table, choosing the seat right in front of you. Great. Haechan figured that this way, he can force you to stare at him, even if it's just for a little bit. Yet, you're looking anywhere but at him right now.

"How's Renjun, baby?" He breaks the silence, and you move to look him in the eyes, a scowl present on your face. You know he's not talking to you like that.

You've never wanted to punch someone so badly. "Doesn't he live with you? And don't call me that."

"Call you what? Baby?" There he goes again.

You really didn't want to deal with this right now, especially since it's like the male had been following you lately. You were being honest, you had truly been seeing him everywhere. The last thing you wanted was any type of interaction with him after finding him in all your favorite spots. The bench outside your building. He was there. The table you sit at in the dining hall. He was there. The craft store you went to with Renjun. Ding ding ding, you guessed it! He was there.

Moving to stand up, you grab the attention of the others. Karina looks at you quizzically. "Where are you going?"

"Away from Haechan." You speak honestly, closing the water bottle you were drinking from.

Yeji turns to you. "What, why? Mark was just inviting us to a party!"

"I'm tired." You say, as politely as you can, thinking of any excuse to not go to this party. You didn't mind parties, they were okay sometimes, but right now you just really wanted to be out of Haechan's general vicinity.

Chaewon peeks behind Yeji. "Come on, why not? Jaemin texted me that he'd drive us home! It could be fun, we could get wasted!"

Yes, because your ideal Friday night involved getting wasted and throwing up so hard you can't remember your own name. That was exactly your scene. "No thanks, I'm gonna sit this one out."

Yeji stands with you. "Everyone's gonna be there! It could be fun!"

They were persistent, as they were persuasive.

"Ok, fine." You really need to learn to stand your ground a little harder.

So that was how you found yourself, a couple hours later, back in the company of the one you swore you despised. It was inevitable that Haechan would be present, this was Mark's party after all. From what you've gathered, the two were close as well as the other boys your friends knew.

Jeno and Jaemin were here, Jaemin sober as he promised while he spoke to Chaewon, and Jeno? Well, if him and Karina making out on the kitchen counter was indication, not so much. Renjun just snickered at that, "That's gross."

You nod in agreement, opting to save your poor eyes from viewing anymore. Renjun is quick to take notice of the lack of drink in your hand though. "You're not drinking? Again?"

"Don't feel like having a hangover tomorrow."

"I'm starting to think you're a party pooper."

"Think?" You pause, as you make eye contact. "You know very well that I'm a party pooper."

"I didn't want to have to say it!"

"Say what?" A voice speaks as you instantly recognize who it is. He's slinging his arms over you and Renjun's shoulders, you being quick to brush it off.

"Can you leave me alone?"

"Why? So you can chat up Renjun? I'm protecting him."

"Only thing Renjun needs protection from is you."

Haechan raises a brow at that. "At least I know how to have a good time, misses sober."

You cringe at his newfound nickname for you. "Get lost."

"Only if you get loose."

That was by far, the weirdest thing a guy has ever said to you at a party. And trust me, you've been told many things at parties before. "Is that a challenge?"

"Depends, you up to it?" Haechan smirks that stupid grin of his.

Renjun's quick to pull on your arm, pulling you back to reality. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Okay Lee," You ignore the boy beside you. "I'll bite."

"Save that for the bedroom princess."

You and Renjun both look disgusted at that. "Fuck off, you know what I meant. Meet me at the beer pong table, and we'll see who really gets loose."

It only takes an hour and half for you to regret this weird thing you and Haechan had going. It consisted of matching shots with him, as well as chugging as many beers as he did. You didn't even like beer that much, it was just the competitiveness flowing in you that made you continue to down the fuzzy liquid. You could keep up, you had to, you had to make this idiot eat his words.

But a little voice kept etching in the back of your head, why did you care so much? You barely knew this guy, you didn't even know the simplist thing about him, like his major or favorite color.

Well, then again, you didn't need to know all that to know you wanted to beat him in this imaginary game you're playing. No rules at all, just drinking and drinking, a competition to see who could hold their alcohol, and maybe you were losing.

Stumbling to take a seat on a.. bean bag? You get engulfed as you sink in, mind as heavy as your limbs feel. You barely able to lift your head to look around the room, taking note of a few familiar faces here and there. Chaewon and Yeji are dancing in the crowd, Jaemin and Renjun are cashing out on bets of who'd get the drunkest tonight, and Karina and Jeno are nowhere to be found. Amazing, now you probably couldn't go home. Hopefully you could just crash at Chaewon's.

"Feeling it yet?" Haechan slurs into your ear as he sits on the beanbag to your right. He's well past the point of drunk, likely slightly worse than you, seeing as he was drinking before you had arrived.

"Nope." You lie, barely able to make eye contact with him. Why was it so hot in here? Were you sweating?

Haechan quirks his head to the side. "Liarrr."

You shift your eyes. "You're more wasted than me."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Alright you win." Haechan mumbles, throwing his head back into the seat. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Ew!" You reject, still having half a brain.

"Not like that," He says, words mushing together, and you can tell hes being honest. "Let's go swing on the swing set."

"Mark has a swing set?!" You sit up, practically yelling like it was the greatest discovery ever made.

He matches your energy. "The neighbors do! I'll even push you on it."

You just nod rapidly as you grab his hand and lead him off the bean bag, eyes following curiously as Yeji wonders why the hell you're holding Haechan's hand in yours. You definitely wouldn't remember this tomorrow.

Haechan pushes the patio door open, you two spotting the playground that must've been from years ago. Yet, this didn't detour you as you raced to it, barely able to keep up with the boy beside you.

Not because he was fast, but because you could barely stay on your own two feet without falling over. Haechan helps though, a steady grip on you as he helps you onto the swing.

"Woah!" You yelp, as you almost fall off of it, forgetting to grab the sides.

Haechan's quick to stop you and laughs as you can barely keep your head up. "You're in another world."

You lift your face up slightly, "Yeah? Then you're on another planet."

"Another planet is closer than another world!"

"Aren't they the same thing?"

Haechan's silent for a minute as he thinks. "I don't know."

You laugh, way too loud for your liking, but what did it matter? It was just you and Haechan here, and you could care less what he thought. "You know, you're cooler when you're drunk."

It's quiet for a beat before Haechan puts his hand on his heart, pretending to wince out in pain. "I'm cool all the time"

"Nuh uh," You argue back, childishly. "When we got here, the first thing you did was make fun of me! Then you dragged me into this."

"It's a game! It's fun!" He waves his hands around.

It's truly funny how things worked. A week ago, you didn't even know who Lee Haechan was. And an hour ago, you wouldn't have been caught dead with him alone. Yet, here you were, laughing as you try to keep your grip on the swing as he pushes you. Almost falling off balance a few times, but manages to keep himself up.

The breeze blows from behind you, almost giving you goosebumps with a lack of a jacket. Your mind vaguely begins to wonder what time it was, the pitch blackness of the neighborhood (Minus a few streetlights) throwing you off.

"You're more fun when you drink too." Haechan yells, even though you're directly in front of him. "Not pushing me away and running, or slamming doors in my face!"

"You deserved that!" You giggle as he stops pushing you, sitting on the swing next to you to take a break.

He stares at the stars for a few minutes before he looks at you. You look so cute, even in such dull lighting. Haechan leans in a little closer, to where you can almost smell the alcohol on his breath. "You look really pretty."

You can't help the way your heart quickens, but you shake your head, deducing it to be all the drinks in your system. Sober you would never react this way to Lee Haechan. The man of your nightmares.

Or so you told yourself.

You lean in a bit further, his eyes never leaving yours. "I know."

Haechan's taken aback but before he can reply, his name's being shouted across the back. "Haechan! Are you out here?"

"No!" Haechan yells in response, watching as the shadow of a person approaches them, leaves crunching beneath their feet.

Mark's face falls in relief as he notices you with Haechan. "Man we've been looking everywhere for you. Karina said she couldn't find Yn either."

You stand up from the swing, leaving Haechan sitting by himself. "I should be getting home."

Mark just looks between you two, confusion across his face. Since when had you gotten close with Haechan? He could've sworn you two were arguing earlier, even when you arrived at the party. Was he missing something? "Jaemin will drive you."

"I can drive her." Haechan says, ironically as he nearly tumbles over himself attempting to get on his feet again. He fishes his keys from his pocket and waves them around as Mark snatches them from his grip.

"You're not driving anywhere." Mark rolls his eyes. "Renjun's taking you home too."

And like a dad caring for his children, he leads you both back inside, careful not to let Haechan run off to who knows where. (He had a tendency of doing that.)

"But it's not even midnight!" Haechan protests, with his head down.

"It's two in the morning!" Mark corrects as he shakes his head, grabbing Haechan by the arm. Your eyes widen, was it really that late already? Time flew by weirdly fast with Haechan. Not that you enjoyed it or anything, must've just been the alcohol. Yeah, definitely.

"But I don't wanna leave her." Haechan says, prying himself off of Mark and onto you. Clinging to you like you were best friends. You, not knowing better in your state, hug him back.

"You two look like idiots." Mark comments, trying to separate you guys, the both of you telling him to stop. Your grip on each other tightening with every tug.

"Wait!" Yeji catches up to you, smirking as she pulls her phone out. "Let me take a picture first."

You just hum, drunkenly posing for the photo as Haechan throws a peace sign up. The two of you with stupid smiles on your faces. Idiots, that would be the correct thing to say about you guys now.

"Okay," Renjun approaches, eyes heavy as he just wants to go to sleep right about now. He tries to pull the other off of you, but you tighten your grip as well. "Haechan, let's go!"

He shakes his head and Renjun just about gives up as he throws his ahdns in the air. "Find your own way home."

Haechan nuzzles into you for about two more minutes before he registers what Renjun said. "Oh no! Renjun's leaving me!"

You just nod and Haechan lets go of you, running towards the front door as he yells a small goodbye to you. You yell back across the house, and he shoots you a thumbs up as he almost trips over the steps leading outside.

You pout slightly as you watch him go, your source of warmth being gone now. Oh well, you start looking around for your roommate, but you spot Jeno in the kitchen alone without her. Where the hell did she go? Didn't matter, you were just going to relax on the couch now.

It would be okay to close your eyes for a minute right?

Well, you closed your eyes for a bit longer than a minute. In fact, when you opened them next, there was sunlight shining through the living room windows.

The headache hits you first, feeling like you had been ran over as your whole body was sore. Likely from the amount of dancing and running you had done. You even vaguely recall going outside. To swing? With Haechan?

You sit up, a little fast for your head, and look around. You spot Chaewon and Karina on the couch across from you, legs intermingled as they hugged, they must've been wasted when they went to sleep too. You can see Yeji's jacket still on the couch, registering the sound of a toilet flushing.

Why was it so loud? You throw your head back on the couch as Yeji enters the living room. "You're up." She whispers, sitting down on the love seat next to you.

"Yeah, where are we?" You groan back.

"Mark's house." She answers back, watching your facial expressions. "Do you really not remember?"

"No." You rub your eyes, the headache still present.

"So you definitely shouldn't check your phone." Yeji laughs, picking your phone up from the ground and throwing it in your lap.

You place your phone beside you. "Why are we at Mark's house?"

Yeji leans back. "Jaemin ended up getting too drunk to drive us. Mark offered to call us an uber but he couldn't find his phone. He tried to find Renjun too but he had already left. Then Mark just gave up and went to bed. Jaemin and Jeno are asleep in the other room."

You barely even process all of that as you just raise your eyebrows , picking up your device. And to your surprise, its full of notifications, yet all from one app.

There, laying on your Instagram dashboard, is a photo of you and a clearly drunk Haechan. He's leaning into your face, the sides of your faces pressed together inside the small frame. He's smiling that stupid little smirk and you're grinning widely. To make matters worse, its accumulated the most likes you've ever seen on your page. There's tons of comments too, most stating how cute you two are. The others commenting that they didn't even think you knew each other. There were a few random ones too, talking about couple goals and how you made the explore page. What?!

Your finger hovers over the button to delete the post, but it is a rather cute picture. Despite the fact that you were going to kill whoever posted it on your page, maybe you'd keep it.

"Who the hell posted me and Haechan?!" You speak, not caring for the volume you were speaking at. It was in fact ten already, hopefully no one would mind too much.

Yeji shushes you, "I don't know-"

"It was Jaemin." Chaewon nods, shifting to get Karina off of her, though the latter doesn't move a bit. But when had Chaewon even woken up?

Your eyes widen, getting up as you're blinded by the need to cuss Jaemin out. Entering the first room you come across, you spot Mark asleep in his bed, Jaemin and Jeno on the floor.

You lean down and smack Jaemin, waking him up as he looks startled. "Mom?"

"No!?" You yell, shaking him by his shoulders. "Why did you post that photo?"

"What photo?"

"Motherfu-"

"He was drunk." Mark sits up, rubbing his eyes, making you feel slightly guilty for waking him too. "Why don't you just delete it?"

"It has a few thousand likes already!"

"You're famous?"

You shake your head. "No, but this means all of his fangirls are going to be at my door this morning after our post made the explore page."

"So what you're saying is," Jaemin pauses, looking at you. "I made you famous? You should be thanking me."

"What the fuck?" You blurt out, "I'm going to strangle you."

Jaemins eyes grow big as you reach towards him, he struggles to avoid your hands. "I just thought it was a cute picture! You guys looked so friendly!"

"Well we're not! I'm not even friends with him!"

"You are after last night." Mark comments, looking around for Jeno's shirt. You had been so distracted that you didn't even notice the half naked boy across the room as he slept. Then you realize Mark's words, you two were friendly last night? You'd rather dive into a dumpster than hang out with Haechan. Well, apparently not?

"I'm going home." You give up. "Sorry for sleeping on your couch Mark."

The latter just shrugs. "Anytime, I don't mind."

What a weird guy.

You locate your keys in a bowl on the kitchen table, promptly placed there with many others after Jaemin had confiscated all your keys. You look over to Karina on the couch and decide you don't want to be the one to wake her, she was usually grumpy when hungover. Eh, Jeno can drive her home.

After grabbing your jacket and making your way to where your car sits, you gape in horror. "Someone vomited on my car?!"

FOUR, THEY CONFUSE BEING FRIENDLY FOR FLIRTING.

This one was one you had seen time and time again. You've experienced it first hand, as well as had to swoop in and save your friends from it. It always goes the same, every time. A boy approaches you, usually meeting for the first time, and takes your friendliness as a sign of being interested.

Like the time Chaewon had to awkwardly explain to the worker at the Van's store that she wasn't giving him her phone number, she just wanted him to look up her loyalty account for points. To which he had insisted that she was smiling at him so much, how could he not think she wanted to give him her number?

Or when Karina and you were at Starbucks and she held the door open for a guy to walk in. He then immediately turned around and asked her for her Instagram so they could talk. Then when she said she wasn't interested, he walked away angrily.

Moral of the story: Men always think you're hitting on them just because you're being nice.

More than half of the time, they're wrong.

This is why you're not friendly.

However, your judgement seems to be impaired when you're drunk. Considering how your attitude with Lee Haechan had died down, he took it as a sign of a new bestfriend. And even worse, he thinks he can flirt with you.

He's even managed to convince himself that you're desperately in love with him, teasing you every time he sees you.

Karina thinks it's hilarious as you complain to her, "He's just naturally flirty."

You roll your eyes. "He thinks I'm in love with him!"

"Maybe you are." She responds and you don a repulsed look on your face.

"Me? In love with Lee Haechan? Never."

"Your adamance on not being in love with him is suspicious."

"How?!" You ask as you continue to finish off the last of the bows that you were crocheting for Renjun's bunny. He had decided last minute that he wanted the bunny to have cute accessories, so he had set you up to the task as a repayment for teaching you how to crochet at all.

"Well for one, you've been spending an awful lot of time with each other." She points out and you hate that she's right. These past few weeks since the party, they boy has been glued to your hip.

"Not voluntarily. He follows me everywhere!" You respond.

"You go to his apartment!"

"Because Renjun lives there." You reason, and it was true. Renjun was a friend, and you were learning something from him. Why wouldn't you be at his apartment? "I don't go to see Haechan!"

"Are you sure?" Karina quirks a brow and you look at her in disgust.

"Yes I'm sure."

"Okay, so what about you leaving that post up?"

"What post?" You feign, knowing full well what she was referring to.

"You're insufferable." She replies. "And in love with Lee Haechan."

You almost throw the needle at her. "Nope. Nuh uh, not in love with him."

"So why is he coming over right now."

"We're going to help Renjun ask his crush out, remember?"

She shakes her head. "I zone you out sometimes."

You scoff. "Worst roommate ever."

"Yeah yeah, heard it all before." She giggles as she continues scrolling through her phone. The door bell rings though, and she decides to do you one and get the door while you put your shoes on.

You immediately hear the voices of the boys as soon as the door opens, both greeting Karina as they enter.

You ignore the small talk though, "How are we feeling, Renjun?"

"Nervous." He responds, deadpanning. He wipes his palms on his jeans, sweaty and all clammy.

"You'll be fine!" You assure him. "She's like in love with you."

"Yup," Haechan agrees. "Just like how Yn is in love with me!"

"Shut up!"

"You didn't even deny it!"

"Gross," Renjun interrupts. "This is about me right now, can we go back to focusing on me?!"

"Yeah, sorry." You respond, knowing Renjun was worried out of his mind. It's all for no reason though, you know his crush returns his feelings. There's nothing to worry about, he shouldn't be so worried.

But, as you thought, he didn't listen to a single thing you said. He had barely even managed to calm his heart when you dropped him off at the restaurant he had invited her to. You and Haechan shoot him a thumbs up, the other muttering some words of encouragement to him, that apparently made him all the more nervous, but at least he was trying.

You remind Renjun to call you when you needed to pick him up, wishing him the best of luck. Though, as Haechan commented, hopefully his crush would be taking him home after this.

You just hit him in his shoulder.

Unfortunately, you never thought about the aftermath of this situation. It seemed normal on paper, two of Renjun's good friends drop him off for a gut wrenching date, offering their support.

Now what? Were you two just supposed to wait around? Should you go back to their apartment? Or should you drop Haechan off and just go home? You underestimated what you were getting yourself into here.

"So?" The male speaks before you can, raising his brows at you. "Got any confessions of your own?"

"Here's one, I think you're annoying."

"See, I already knew that. Not much of a confession." He sticks his tongue out, turning to face you as you keep your eyes on the road. You're quiet as he speaks again. "Well I actually have a confession, if you'd like to hear it."

"I don't, Haechan."

He rolls his eyes as he moves on. "Enough with the Haechan! Call me Donghyuck, like my friends do."

"We're not friends." You maintain, raising your brows.

"Yes we are! You just won't admit it!" He whines, not taking his eyes off you of you. "Doesn't matter, I'm still going to confess."

"Go on." You say, a hint of amusement in your tone. You were actually kind of curious on what he wanted to say.

"I want to take you on a date."

You scoff, of course that was it. "Lot's of other guys want to take me on dates."

"I'm not other guys!" He defends, whining in your ear.

"You're right." You begin, turning to face him back. "You're worse."

He lets out a wail at that. "Look, it doesn't have to be a fancy date or anything! Just let me buy you dinner, or take you to Dave & Busters!"

"Dave & Busters?!" You laugh, did he really take girls there? Not that you minded it but, this was Haechan we were talking about. You didn't take him as the type to take a girl out there on a first date. Huh, the more you know.

"Please," He puts his hands together, with pleading eyes. "Pretty please."

It sounded fun, that you'd admit. But you didn't really want to spend endless energy, and money, trying to win rigged arcade games and claw machines. "How about this? You buy me a pizza and a cinnamon roll from the mall food court and I'll let you think it's a date."

"Then it's a date!" He bats his eyes, smiling ear to ear.

..

It's been three hours. Three hours of radio silence from you and Haechan. Renjun figures he'll just send a bomb to your house. Nice and prettily wrapped with a bow, noted that it's from him. In this scenario, Haechan is with you as well, and you two just get blown up. To smithereens. Yes, that was a perfect scenario.

Renjun's not even in a bad mood, in fact, he's quite overjoyed that his confession was returned. His (Now) girlfriend beaming as she hugged the knitted animal, saying how Renjun was so romantic and how she felt the same way. He even got to kiss her!

However, this now brings him to an empty apartment, having taken the bus with her so he could walk her home safely. He had thought about just calling you to let you know, but he figured you'd answer later.

Now though, he feels really weird. His roommate is usually blowing up his phone, no matter the situation, yet he hasn't heard a word from him all day. So to say this was odd, was an understatement.

He's barely left to think for long before Haechan literally comes barreling through the door, you following right behind him.

You're both bickering playfully about something, you talking with your hands as Haechan tries to speak louder than you. "I told you that you were going to lose!"

"You cheated!"

Neither of you even greet Renjun, it's like he's not even there, though he's literally standing right in the kitchen. And Renjun can't say he approves of the sight.

You continue on talking. "You're just a sore loser!"

"You were taking basketballs from my side!"

"Well hey to you too," Renjun drags, waving his arm sarcastically. "I'm here, if you hadn't noticed."

"Oh my god, Renjun!" You say, grabbing him by his shoulders. "How did it go? I'm so sorry, this idiot made us go to Dave & Busters after the mall! Then, my phone died and Hyuck left his here and-"

Renjun raises a hand to stop you, getting straight to the point. Trying to hide by how he was slightly caught off guard by you and his friend spending so long together, alone. "I'm fine, she accepted my confession. We're dating now."

You squeal. "Renjun has a girlfriend! Hyuck, Renjun has a girlfriend!"

"Maybe you can stop being so moody all the time now!" Haechan pokes, squeezing the other in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, never thought you'd do it!"

"Well, I believed in you!"

Renjun smiles, "That's great. Actually, can I talk to you for a minute?"

You look confused, realizing that Renjun's looking at you. "Sure, walk me out to my car?"

He nods and Haechan wraps his arms around you, to which you push him off. "Go shower!"

"Aye aye, captain!" He salutes, causing you to giggle, before waving bye to you as Renjun waits. "Text me when you get home!"

You shoot him a thumbs up and turn to head out the door, Renjun following behind you eagerly. You wondered what he was going to talk to you about. Its funny, you felt like a child awaiting a scolding, just a tad bit scared.

He walks slowly next to you for a couple seconds as he closes his door, walking you to his complexes elevator. He looks a little nervous, opting to stare at his shoes as he speaks. "I"m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest."

"Okay." You answer, a little warily. He was freaking you out with how formal he was being.

"Do you like Haechan?"

You open your mouth. "As a friend, yeah."

He shakes his head. "No, I mean, as in do you have a thing for him?"

"Why would you think that?"

"For starters, you called him Hyuck, twice. And then, you two spent three hours on a date, apparently forgetting about everyone else."

"It wasn't a date."

"Listen to me, he takes all his flings to Dave & Busters, okay? That's kind of his thing, I think it's weird personally, but it's tradition since he did it with his first one." He stops as he tries to figure out how to word things.

You just stare back blankly. Of course you didn't think it was special, he was simply taking you to hang out. It wasn't a date so why wouldn't he take you there?

"I want to know because, I used to be really good friends with this girl a while back. Everything was cool until Haechan got his hands on her, then it turned into this whole mess, and she ended up hating me for it. All because she had tried to get serious with him, and he just hated the thought of tied down."

You lean against the elevator wall. "But why-"

"I'm telling you this because I value our friendship and I don't want you to get hurt. Haechan's my friend, yes, but hes a really shitty guy to be with. I don't want to lose you too, just take this as a warning."

You nod calmly, but your stomach is turning. "Thanks anyways, but I don't like him like that, we're just being friendly."

You were lying straight through your teeth, even if you didn't know it yet.

FIVE, THEY'RE EASY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH?

You hadn't seen, spoken to, or thought of Haechan in a week. (The last one might be a lie, but what is that they say? Fake it 'till you make it?) But you decided to heed your friends warning, maybe you were getting too attached. Goodness knows you can be the type to get too comfortable with someone, not expecting to have the rug pulled out from under you. At least this way you were prepared, right?

What you couldn't avoid, unfortunately, was your friends pestering you about the sudden disconnection from the male. Apparently, Jeno had spread word about it to Karina, and it just fueled her theories.

She had pestered you about six different times this week alone as to why you had been dodging Haechan. You'd always just shrug and say you were busy, but she wasn't buying it. The girl lived with you, she knew something was up.

You had spent less time with Renjun as well, only meeting once at a cafe for lunch, but that could just be attributed to his newly attained girlfriend as well. So you used that as your main excuse for not swinging by the apartment.

Haechan had no idea what he had done, why the radio silence all of a sudden? Had he made you uncomfortable? Did you really not want to go to Dave & Busters? Was something wrong?

Had you found out?

No, threre is no way you could've found out. Jaemin's plan was foolproof, and Jeno was airtight, nothing was going to slip. At least, that was what he hoped.

You're currently sat in Yeji's room, Karina and Chaewon having lost a game of who had to go buy the food. (You had all played rock, paper, scissors for it.)

So the two of you sit cross legged on the floor, sliding beads onto bracelets. Sure, people might deem this a little childish to do at your grown age, but you could truly care less. It was a fun little thing and all of you got to have matching ones, like middle school kids.

Yeji hands you a bucket of letter beads, noting how you nearly finished one side of colored ones. Then she winks, "Who's name is going on it?"

"Mine," You look at her confused. "Who else?"

"Oh, I don't know," She rolls her eyes. "Maybe Haechan's?"

You almost knock over the container. "Not you too!"

"What?!"

"Karina is already up my ass about him! We're just friends." You frown. "There's nothing going on between us."

"Well, I think either you're lying, or you're too dumb to see it. Both are very plausible." She laughs. "I'm just surprised, didn't think he'd be the one to change things."

"He hasn't changed anything." You chide, and you believed it. Somewhat? Everything felt the same, it wasn't like you shot heart eyes at the boy every time he was around. You two just simply got along, in the same way you and Renjun did. Sure, you and him never spent as much time alone as you and Haechan, but that was just 'cause he was so clingy. Surely not because of anything else.

"He's the only boy you don't yell about! I haven't seen you like this since-" Yeji stops herself before she can go on.

You whip your head up, her face guilty as she regrets having opened her mouth. "Since Sunwoo? Is that really what you were going to say?"

She defends, "I didn't mean to!"

"I know," You agree, you choose to stay calm. You know she meant well, she'd never say it to hurt you. "I just don't like to bring him up. That's all."

"But my point still stands."

"And we all know how things ended with Sunwoo. He ended up breaking my heart into tiny little bite sized pieces. Thank you for reminding me exactly why I hate boys again." You go back to your bracelet, trying not to think about your ex-boyfriend.

She sighs, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" You shake her off. "Not your fault he was the world's worst boyfriend."

"I was out of line." She apologizes again, though you're already over it.

"It's alright. Everyone thinks I like Haechan anyways. Even Renjun pulled me away and started going on a spiel of how I need to be careful." You start, not noticing the look Yeji's giving you.

"So, you don't?"

"I don't.." You trail, hating how you're even thinking about it. "I don't know."

She sits up. "Wait a minute-"

"I just enjoy spending time with him." You admit, but you feel like you're about to throw up. You couldn't believe you felt this way. You couldn't afford to, not again. "More than I do with the others anyways. Can we move on?"

Yeji seems reluctant but nods, looking over into her kitchen space. "Jaemin's been spending a lot of time here, broke my favorite mug."

"The one with the cat on it?" You gasp, more worried for the cup than the boy.

"Yes! The one Ryujin made me in her pottery class!"

"I'd kick him out!" Your jaw drops, knowing how Ryujin would've dragged that poor boy across the floor.

She just feigns annoyance. "Chaewon would have a cow! The two are like bestie's now."

"Seem's like you're all teasing the wrong person!" You stick your tongue out.

"Nope, she honors the pact!" Yeji responds, "Like a lot."

"You're all stupid."

"Hey!"

You two are stopped by the sound of the keypad outside beeping as the code buzzes incorrectly. "Open up! Karina's making me carry all the bags!"

"I literally have soda's in both hands!" The other yells as you get up to get the door, Yeji toddling behind you with a half made bracelet in her hand.

The girls barrel in, rushing to place the food down on the counter as you and Yeji itch to get your hands on the bags.

Karina falls into conversation with Yeji over the wait time when you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. You pull it out to see Haechan calling you? That was weird, he had never really called you. You two barely even texted since you gave him your number last week.

You just excuse yourself and step into Yeji's bedroom, answering the unusual call. "Hello?"

"Finally! Well, where the hell have you been?!" The voice on the other end pesters.

"What? I've been busy." You lie, tightening your grip on the phone.

"I miss you." He blurts out suddenly, the words making your heart drop. Sure, he had said tons of flirty stuff to you before, but now that you were slightly aware of some feelings? Yeah, this was making your heart race. His comment is followed by silence, neither of you speaking.

You manage to collect yourself, putting on your bickering tone. "Shut up."

"I'm serious! Let's do something tomorrow. Just you and I, wanna show you something."

"What could you possibly want to show me?"

"Besides my dick?" Of course he'd never miss an opportunity to make that kind of joke. What was he, fourteen? But you hated how it made you laugh.

"That's fucking gross." You make a fake-vomiting noise.

"No but all jokes aside," He begins again, speaking quieter through your device. "I'll see you here at 5?"

"I don't know," You respond, staring at your shoes as you think about it.

"Well then who knows?"

One day couldn't hurt, right? You'd spend time with him again and realize that you two are just platonic friends. Yeah, everyone wanted to make it so complicated, when it wasn't like that. Surely, you'd feel at ease after confirming things. "See you at five."

..

"You're ditching us?!" Chaewon's jaw slacks as you shake your head.

"Ditching? I spent all yesterday and this morning with you guys, don't be dramatic." You say as you slip on your shoes.

"For Lee Haechan?!" Karina speaks up, equally as shocked.

"Why are you all so surprised?"

"Because a few months ago, you would've been barking up any tree to get away from him!"

"What does that even mean, Chaewon?"

And the group stills, laughing at what she said. She just leans against the door frame, "Fine, go abandon your friends!"

Yeji pouts before patting the back of a fake-crying Chaewon. "Shame on you."

"I'll be back soon, we all know Karina's going to crash on your couch again anyways." You state, about to open the door.

"Whatever, not my fault you like to sleep toe to toe with Yeji in her bed." She rolls her eyes, referencing to how she had found you this morning. And yes, you were in Yeji's bed, but to say your toes were interlocked? Well..

"Just text us, we were thinking about stopping by Jaemin and Jeno's." Chaewon says, the others nodding their heads.

You shoot them a thumbs up and open the door, not expecting anything that would happen that night.

..

Haechan throws himself on his couch, groaning as he's lost another round of Super Mario Bros. to you. To make it worse, you're just laughing at his defeat, who even knew you were so competitive? He couldn't complain though, you had warn fair and square, unfortunately.

He pushes his soda towards you, a brand he beamed about for the entire day, saying he had picked it up on a grocery trip. (Your friend had whopped him when he realized Haechan brought home the wrong brand, but Haechan actually grew to like it. Well, considering now he had three cases of it, you guess he had no choice.)

He sees your eyes land on the can, before nudging your shoulder. "Try it."

You deny immediately. "I don't know where your mouth has been."

He gasps dramatically as he places a hand on his heart. "You wanna find out?"

"Get me my own and I'll try it." You ignore him as you give in, to which he salutes you and stalks out of the living room like a soldier. That guy was weird.

But the main thing on your mind right now, was what Haechan could possibly be showing you. You two had done nothing for the past hour besides play video games on his couch. So unless the soda brand - Or the potato chips - were what he wanted to show you, then you had no idea.

He returns with the soda, placing it was a clunk on the table, having no idea of your impending thoughts. "Try it and if you like it, then you can have a case."

"So that's what this is." You laugh as you crack the lid. "You're just trying to dump those cases on me."

"No I'm not!" He denies though he smirks a little.

"So," You begin. "What was it that you wanted to show me?"

"All in due time." He teases, grimacing as he downs another can. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that good things come to those who wait?"

"Didn't anyone tell you I was impatient?"

Haechan laughs, brushing his hair from his eyes. "Let's go."

He gets up from the couch, offering you his hand, to which you take. You don't know why, but you trust Haechan. He could lead you to a trap and you'd follow. But you have no idea why.

As you pester as to where it is that you're going, he just tells you to put your seat belt on and not to ask questions. He keeps his patience though, ignoring your whining about this mystery trip.

He just laughed though, telling you how cute you looked when you were pouting. You just shoved him and rolled your eyes, never admitting how hot your face would grow at the random compliments.

Then suddenly, you two were there.

Haechan wouldn't elaborate on what there was. To you, this just looked like a park in the city. But you could tell, with the way he was looking at the trees, this meant something to him.

You two walk up the trail in silence, you choosing not to say anything as he seems determined to get somewhere. You follow without qualms, admiring how dark it was starting to get around this time.

There were families still out though, couples laughing on benches as they fed ducks, and people walking their dogs. It was such a beautiful sight.

Haechan suddenly turns as you make your way up a hill, grabbing your hand as he points to the grass. "Sit with me."

You nod, sitting cross legged on the ground as Haechan stares out into the view. And you can admit, it's breathtaking.

You can see everyone from there. All the people, all the animals, all the trees, you can see it all. You catch glimpses as the sun sets, the sky painted orange as it illuminates the view below.

"It's so pretty." You comment honestly, thankful for the wind on such a hot day, you had never felt more comfortable.

You know why you do though, and it has a lot to do with the boy beside you. The boy you had only known for a few months, but had managed to wring your heart into a knot, he was right here. He made this moment perfect, he made this what it was.

You regret running away, for that week wasted, when you felt like you belonged with him. Your heart swells, and you wish it would stop, but it doesn't cease, not for a second.

Moment's spent with Haechan, they were never a bore, he was someone who you felt genuinely cared about you. Sure, he might have gotten off on the wrong foot with you, but no one was perfect.

He had a past, but damn it, so did you.

You know why you trusted him so much, why you backed away so fast, why you'd follow him anywhere. You knew it all too well.

You couldn't help it, you were in love with him.

"It's beautiful." He responds, resting his head on your shoulder.

You hum back, "Why did you bring me here?"

He turns towards you. "To do this."

Haechan cups your face, tilts it towards him, and then leans in as your lips meet. You don't move for a minute, taken aback by the sudden action, but when you regain your senses you kiss him back.

He pulls off a little before you grab the nape of his neck and bring him in again. You can't get enough, you love the taste of Lee Haechan, you feel like you could kiss him forever. You want to kiss him forever.

You separate again to breathe for a moment but he's pushing your lips back together, it seems the feeling was mutual.

You know you two look like horny teenagers just making out on a hill, something straight our of a coming-of-age movie. But you couldn't care less, you didn't care about what anyone thought of you. All that mattered right now was the boy in front of you.

And loving someone? It never felt this right.

..

You walk into your apartment wearing a dopey smile, Karina texting you that they she had went home, and you're thankful because your pillow sounds so good right now.

After the sunset, Haechan had took you to eat at a small diner, then to a little box arcade to pummel you in every shooting game out there. So, for lack of better word, you were exhausted.

You and Haechan didn't talk about the kiss after, he just smiled at you and then told you he liked you. You'd never felt such butterflies in your life, not even with your ex-boyfriend. It was different.

You call out for your roommate when you walk further in, turning on your lights as she responds. "Can you come here for a minute?"

You walk into her room, seeing Yeji and Chaewon on her bed. You giggle at the two. "Need me to help you move them?"

But she's not laughing, serious as she looks at you. "Maybe we should talk in the living room."

Your heart races. Did something bad happen? Was she okay? Were the others okay? Did the boys piss her off? There were a million things running through your heard at the turn of this night. Nevertheless, you follow her out into the living room, sitting with her. "Is everything alright? You're scaring me with how serious you're being."

She looks down at your attempt to lighten the mood. "As you know, we went to see the boy's today."

You nod, scared to speak. You even feel guilty, but you know you did nothing wrong, why did it seem like you were in trouble?

Karina continues, "They started drinking, a lot. But stayed sober because I'm having breakfast with my mom tomorrow, remember?"

And now, its oddly apparent to you how she seems to be beating around the bush. You lean in, "Did something happen, Karina?"

"Well, Jeno and I were talking in his room, and all of a sudden Jaemin walks in, drunk obviously. Talking about how he won, and the bet's off now. I thought he was talking about sports or that sort of thing, but then he mentions Haechan." She avoids your eyes.

"What are you saying?" You whisper, meekly.

"Long story short, I got out of Jeno that-" She closes her mouth, and you can see her trying to word it, but your patience is running thin. "Jaemin payed Haechan to talk to you."

"What?!" You exclaim, standing up from where you were sitting. No, no that couldn't be right, that couldn't be true. It barely even made any sense. "Why would he do that?"

Karina stands as well, muttering two words. "The pact."

And it clicks in your head.

"He thought if anyone could sweep you off your feet, it'd be Haechan. So he messaged him randomly and set this whole thing up. He figured if the bet was broken, he could get a chance with Chaewon."

"So he," You start, struggling to speak. "Payed Haechan to make me fall in love. For this stupid pact I didn't even ask to be apart of?!"

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea. Once Jeno told me, I told him I never wanted to see him again! And look I know it doesn't even matter because you don't care-" She pauses as she looks at you, stunned at the sight. "Are you crying?"

And you let out another choked sob at that, her rushing to your side immediately. Your tears are flowing as you rub at your eyes, overwhelmed by the emotions taking over you. "Why are you crying?"

"I loved him."

She staggers back. "You.."

"And this happens." You continue to bawl. "This keeps happening, and I don't know why it keeps happening to me!"

Karina pats your hair as she hugs you. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know! I know, I didn't! So why do boys keep doing this to me?! Why do I keep getting used?!" You cry, the words slipping out. "First you, and now Chaewon. Will no one ever just love me?!"

Karina tightens her hug on you, she knows it hurts, she was there. She held you a year and a half ago when you broke up with Sunwoo. Weeping in her arms as you recalled a text message you had viewed on his phone. How he was only using you to get to Karina. She hated him, she hated his entire being, and she still does.

But you didn't love Sunwoo. No, you liked him a lot but love? That was never there. You cried because he treated you like garbage, not because your heart was broken.

She can practically hear it shattering now.

You want to throw something, anything. You want to stomp into Haechan's apartment and throw shit around, making him hurt the way you are. You feel anger, and you feel hurt.

But what you feel most of all, is fear.

You still don't want to lose him, and that's what hurts the most.

SIX, THEY'RE NOT SO EASY TO HATE

When you were fifteen, you wrote a list. Clear cut and simple, straight to the point. It listed six reasons why you hated boys. And so far, to this day, every word has held true.

Sure, people might sit and laugh about it now. Say how it's outdated and how it's rude to generalize an entire gender because of personal experience, but you'd beg to differ.

You lean your head back against your car seat, sniffling as you sit. It's about twelve in the morning at this point, but you can't bring yourself to feel tired. You don't know what to do, you don't even know where you're going. So you go back to the root of this, the boy you thought you could trust. Huang Renjun.

You typed the name easily, not even expecting him to pick up. You don't know what you're going to say, you were so filled with anger that you could explode.

"Hey, what're you doing up so late?" The soft voice chimes as he picks up, half asleep as he yawns.

You burst into tears. "You were my friend?! How could you do this to me?! I trusted you!"

You can hear him shuffling around as you assume he sits up in his bed. "Hello? What? Yn?"

You grit your teeth. "Don't play stupid now, I found out. Are you happy? I know you set me up!"

"Set you up? Are you drunk right now or-"

"Don't you dare!" You scream into the phone. "What, did they promise you a cut of the money? Or did they tell you-"

"What are you talking about?" He yells back, completely confused. "Who promised me money?"

You start crying even more. "I hate you so much, you're just as fake as Haechan."

"Haechan? What do I have to do with him?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you!? Why won't you just admit you helped Jaemin and Jeno?!" Your voice is horse now from the yelling and your eyes rubbed raw from the crying.

"Yn." He calms, lowering his voice. "Talk to me, what did they do?"

His tone takes you off guard, wasn't he just screaming back at you? "Do you really not know?"

"Know what - Please, you have to help me out here - I don't know anything." He responds, and you want so terribly to believe him. He had your back, he warned you, he probably saw all of this coming.

But boys lie, that you know for certain.

"So you don't know that Jaemin bribed Haechan to get me to break that fucking pact?" You curse, voice low, and you hold your breath for his answer.

"He did what?" Renjun speaks, sighing. "And Haechan went through with it? That's so typical of him, but you know what? I warned you."

"Are you trying to preach to me right now?!" You say, pissed off.

"No- Fuck, I'm so sorry." And you can hear him sit down on his bed. "I swear to you, I didn't know about this. They probably didn't tell me on purpose, please, I can't lose you too."

"Renjun," You speak in the mic. "What am I gonna do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I liked him a lot."

And the other end is silent.

..

If Renjun hadn't proved his friendship to you yet, now was definitely his time to show out. Well, judging by how he's literally tearing up the dance floor for your amusement? Yeah, he's gone above and beyond.

You laugh at him from your little booth, sat next to the guy he had brought along, Renjun's girlfriend across from you as she giggles at her boyfriend.

Her name is Heejin, and she practically crushed you with a hug earlier. Telling you all about how shes begged Renjun to meet the girl responsible for making her precious bunny those bows. Also laughing and giggling about how pretty you were, cheeks slightly red.

The boy beside you was Yangyang, a cousin who Renjun was convinced would make you head over heels. ("Hyuck and him are both stupid!" He had said, trying to point out their similiarities. "And both medium ugly, so they have a lot in common! Give him a chance.) But Renjun was mistaken because you didn't want a boy like Haechan, you wanted Haechan. And it stung.

Yangyang was funny though, and he was polite but it had only been a few weeks since you ghosted Haechan. You weren't ready or open to the idea of anyone new just yet. Yangyang didn't seem to mind though, he was just here for a good time, which he seemed to be having as he made you down a matching shot with him.

"Haechan's a total asshole." Heejin suddenly spouts, likely from having too much to drink. "I would've fallen in love with you for free!"

"Right?!" Yangyang shouts over the music. "Wait, who's Haechan?"

You groan, "Thank you, Heejin."

She sits up. "No problem, and I'm glad you came out with us tonight! Renjun said he hadn't seen you in weeks, I almost thought I'd never get to meet you."

"No seriously," Yangyang speaks, looking around. "Who is Haechan?"

"Okay, you're both trashed." You laugh, staring at your unfinished drink, pretending to stir it. Moving, you slip your heels back on.

"Awee, are you leaving?" Heejin pouts, and you shake your head at the sweet girl. "No, I'm just going to pee. Think you'll be okay?"

She just nods and you stand, pulling your too-tight dress down as you make you way through people. What were you even doing here tonight? Karina had basically kicked you into Renjun's car to leave, saying you needed to be out again. But what was the point anyways? You felt like you finally reached your limit about caring about boys anymore, especially one's that weren't Lee Haechan.

Goodness, there you go again. Thinking about the very person who left you like this, who didn't even fight for you or come looking. He knew what he had done, and you hope it eats at him everyday.

But you also hope he's okay. You hope that, maybe just a tiny part of him actually liked you, and that maybe your absence made a small dent in his life.

But you doubt it, not like you knew anyways. You would ask Renjun but they got into a fight, presumably over what he had done to you, and now the two don't even talk anymore. According to your friend, the other just comes home to sleep, busy going who knows where during the day.

Coming back from the bathroom, you find Renjun having returned, coddling his girlfriend as Yangyang watches with a displeased look on his face. You can relate.

Then you realize something, Renjun is drunk. Which means, he's incapable of taking you home. You confirm this as you and Yangyang, the only one's about to stand by themselves, sling Renjun over your shoulders and walk to his car. You grab the keys from his pockets as he protests. "It's fine, take my car and call us an Uber."

"Are you insane?" You ask, trying to ignore the pain in your arms. "Stuff three drunk people in an Uber and hope they make it home? Who do you think I am?"

But you're a bit thankful that Renjun wants to make things easier for you. You were a big girl though, you could handle driving them to his apartment, even if Haechan was there.

Right, you'd be fine.

That's what you keep repeating as you make the drive, unfamiliar with this car, but driving just fine. You can see Renjun and Heejin cuddling in the rear view, Yangyang sat up front as he stares out the window.

"I've been wondering all night," He speaks, taking you off guard. "What's got you all upset? Is it that Haechan that Heejin mentioned?"

You keep your eyes on the road. "It's embarrassing."

"Well, my girlfriend of four years cheated on me." He speaks, causing you to shift in your seat. The confession offbeat, not expecting his openness. "That's why I'm here, I live an hour and half away. But I can't go to my place knowing she's there, I can't stand to be around her."

"I'm really sorry," You say, sincerity in your voice. "You deserve better."

He just shrugs. "That's not even the embarrassing part. I can't be around her because I know I'll take her back, I still love her. Isn't that weird, loving someone after they did you so wrong?"

"It's not weird." You whisper back.

"Renjun's the one who drove me down here himself, he knows I'm weak. He knows I view love irrationally." Yangyang drops his head.

"That's not irrational, we can't help who we love."

He tries to piece things together. "Did Haechan cheat on you too?"

"No," You respond, gripping the wheel. "Well, we weren't even together."

"So you're upset over someone you weren't with? Ditto. I think we've all been there, I guess the only thing left now is if you think he's worth forgiving." And for how much the boy drank, you hated how he seemed so wise.

"I don't know, I think I was more upset that he didn't reach out. It's like he doesn't care, like I'm not worth chasing."

"Maybe he's giving you space." He suggests. "That's what I'd do."

"Do you think your girlfriend's worth forgiving?" You hated cheaters, and you'd personally never forgive one. So depending on Yangyang's response, will deduce how helpful his advice is.

"Fuck no." He laughs, leaning his head back. "But your situation is different, you didn't catch your partner in bed with her neighbor so."

Your eyes grow big as you stammer. "I-"

"Don't," He stops you. "If anyone else tells me they're sorry again, I think i'll throw up."

You nod. "I get it."

"Anyways, you can still save your situation. Just depends if you think he's worth your time." He yawns, just in time for you to approach Renjun's complex.

You stay silent, unbuckling your seat belt. What was all the contemplation even for? He could very well not even be home.

But those words are swallowed when Renjun's front door is opened, the boy you'd been dreading in front of you. He rubs his eyes, muttering how he could hear Yangyang's loud voice from inside the house.

Then he quiets, eyes meeting yours.

And you missed the sight terribly.

Yangyang grabs his cousin from your side, pushing past Haechan with Heejin following.

You just stare Haechan up and down. He looks down, opening his mouth and then closing it instantly. He has a million things he wants to say, but he doubts you want to hear anything from him.

So you talk first. "Why didn't you come after me?"

He stops. "What?"

"You didn't even call!" You throw your hands up. "I would've heard you out! I would've let you explain, but you didn't even send a text!"

He takes in your words with disbelief. "I- I assumed you didn't want to hear from me and-"

"That's right, you assumed! You didn't even try, you were just going to let me go." You hold back your tears as your eyes well up. "I waited for days, sitting by the phone for an explanation, for you to call and apologize. I would've taken it from you, you idiot!"

Haechan moves forward. "I'm more sorry than you could imagine."

"Was it all just a chore to you? Everything, all of it?"

"Listen to me." He shakes his head. "I didn't take the money, okay? I took it initially, but after the first time we met, I backed out. It felt horrible to keep doing that to someone."

"And yet you still kept following me around?!" You say, not understanding.

"That was because I was interested in you." He says without hesitance. "And after I ruined everything, I just couldn't bear to see you hurt. I feel horrible every day, it's been hell without you."

"You should've called." You meek, a tear running down your face.

"I know, I should've done a lot of things differently. I should've been honest with you sooner, I should've came clean."

"You know what the stupidest part of it all is?" You cross your arms, as you wipe at your eyes. "I would've forgiven you."

"I'm-"

"Because I love you." And you cry. God, you hated yourself right now. Crying because of a boy? And even worse, crying because of a boy? One you hadn't even known that long, but that managed to worm his way into your life, but had also caused you such sadness.

But as Haechan wraps his arms around you, whispering that he loves you back, you know he's someone worth forgiving.

EPILOGUE

As mentioned, you had made a list when you were fifteen. Unleashing your wrath among the male population after another one had cut you clean.

The list red as followed,

6 Reasons I hate boys,

1, They make everything about them.

2, They're liar's.

3, They don't mind thier business.

4, They confuse being friendly for flirting.

5, They're easy to fall in love with.

And 6, They're not so easy to hate.

Haechan cackles as you read it out, shaking his head as he stirs his coffee. "That's ridiculous."

"How so?" You place the paper down as you narrow your eyes, "Every single thing here has been proven."

"Well its not about the contents of the list," He begins, grabbing your hand. "To me, that sounds like a list of things you like about boys."

"What?!"

"C'mon, you like that I'm the center of attention. You also like when I lie to you about drama spoilers you see online to spare your feelings. Hm, and you love when I poke my head into you and Yeji's gossip sessions to give my input." He lists, counting on his fingers.

"And if I didn't confuse you for flirting, then I would've thought you hated me this whole time." He winks as you scrunch your nose. "And the last two are pretty self explanatory."

"Whatever," You roll your eyes. "You're the worst."

"But you're still dating me so."

"Against my will."

He mocks you, quirking his head to the side. "I'm going to make a list of things I love about you, but I think it'd be more than 6."

"Eww," You drag, still not used to such a sweet side of Haechan. "Corny!"

"Let me be corny!" He waves. "As long as it gets you into Renjun's bed with me."

"For the last time," You lower your voice, looking around the coffee shop. "We are not having sex in Renjun's bed!"

"He does it to me!"

"Only as revenge! And you guy's barely got on good terms again, do you really want to push it?"

He thinks about it. "Well.."

"Nope, not happening." You dismiss, looking over to the cafe counter. "Now go get me some of those cookies."

"Anything for you, my love."

And even though he's a boy, who hopelessly fits into your list.

You could never hate Lee Haechan.