shut up

“I’m hoping it’s just some kinda special super powers, if it’s the former I’m in big fucking trouble. Yeah, no problem. It’s the truth, so. You’re the best, can’t wait to see you drag everyone to hell. I suspect that myself, but maybe it’s just the special super powers again. Yeah actually, you’re one of the few who are. Boxing gloves it is, bring your A game. Why do I feel like that’s a lie about a lie?”

“I’m sure it’s not something everyone can do. I mean, obviously to everyone else you’re just some brooding hard ass, i’m sure. Oh. You were being serious? Well, thanks again then. I don’t think I have the ability to drag anyone to hell, actually. Could be the super powers. We should look into that, make sure it’s legit and stuff. We’ll do tests. Sure thing, bud. You said not to tell you. I was just doing what you said.”

“I really fucking hope I’m not easy to read. I usually pride myself on not being readable, dammit. Yeah you caught me, you’re cute. I would be entertained. I’d bring popcorn and everything. I don’t think I’ve even been called precious outside of you. If that tells you anything. Fine. Meet me outside in an hour, bring boxing gloves, unless you wanna do this the old fashioned way. Yeah it will be, fucking Tinkerbell. Are you… lying to me?”

“Nah, you are. You’re just like a book. Maybe i’ve just got special super powers for you. Aw, thanks. I mean, I know. But thanks. Alright, i’ll get right on doing that then. Just for you. Everyone else is just delusional. Clearly i’m just the nicest person in your life. Alright. Get ready to lose. We can use boxing gloves, it’ll hurt me less. Lying to you? Never.”

“Are you trying to read me? Because you’re doing an awful job. But I’m not lying, you’re just in denial, sorry. And if anyone’s cute around here – it isn’t me. Can’t win ‘em all. Yeah, you should just start dragging randoms around school, I’d be entertained. Puppies are precious, maybe even kittens but definitely not me. Oh so now you want me to fight you? Oh, how the turn tables. We could tag team against Tinkerbell, I’m good for that. Cam, no. Don’t tell me you know all the words to let it go, please don’t.”

“Not trying. I just am. You’re easy to read. I’m not in denial, what are you even talking about? If you’re not cute, does that make me cute? Are you calling me cute? Would you be entertained? Maybe i’ll work on doing that then. Nah, you can be precious too. Don’t sell yourself short. I’ve been asking you to fight me this whole conversation. Alright. Sounds good to me. I think we can take her. It’ll be an easy fight. Okay, I.. don’t know all the words to let it go.”

“I’m pretty sure they had anal in the trailer.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I do not love this. This is awful. This is worse than awful. I definitely don’t remotely live for this, take it back. A toddler? You sure do know how drag my insults, Cam. Not cute at all, actually. Fine. I wouldn’t hurt you, happy? You think? I hope Tinkerbell doesn’t catch wind of this. I can praise you this – I’m happy Frozen wasn’t in your top five. I’m not sure how much more I can take Let it go.” 

“Your words say one thing but your face says another. You’re so cute when you’re lying to me like this. I will not take it back. Nice try though. Aren’t I good at that? The whole dragging thing? I think i’m going to take it up as a hobby. Oh, please. You’re just down right precious. I’m ecstatic. Thank you for admitting it. Let’s fight now so I can say that I won. Yeah, I think. I watch some of her movies now but it’s still questionable. I’m sure we could take Tinkerbell if she got upset that we said any of that. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Frozen but it isn’t top five worthy for me. Don’t even think it’s in the top ten. That doesn’t stop me from singing all of the songs though.”

“Monsters Inc. is quite possibly the best thing to ever come out of Disney Pixar, isn’t that reason enough?”

“Nope, try again. I need more reasons. Keep going.”

“Well yeah but they’re making those adult adaptations.”

“You mean like, the new Cinderella? That was just a live action movie, not an adult adaptation.”