pale beauty moth

I’m never on Tumblr unless I need to vent now, so here it goes. I just need to let this all out before I go study. 

These last 2 years have been the worst years of my life. I lost 2 of the closest people to me. My anxiety and depression is through the roof. I have no health insurance and no help. I try to work through my problems with exercise and keeping myself busy, and then eventually I’ll break down, drink a bottle or 2 of wine and cry till I exhaust myself. I’m trying. I’m really fucking trying. I’m so burnt out from the stress of school as I’m coming up on my last year. I need to bring my grades up, but how do I do that when some days I don’t even feel like existing? “You get what you put into the world”. BULLSHIT. I just know I don’t deserve all this tremendous amount of hurt. It’s been almost 2 years since I lost my dad and I’m still mourning. I need help that I don’t even have time for.