stella maris

So a lot of aphobes on this site like to argue But Ace People Don’t Have To Come Out and That’s Between Them And Their Partner or whatever in an attempt to argue once again that aspec people Aren’t Oppressed Enough to be queer but like... when I came out to my mom as bisexual she was like, “Why are you telling me this? Are you getting a divorce?” And it like...really hit me that she thought the only reason I’d tell her I’m bi is if I was going to start dating people and needed to let her know like, hey some of them might be women. Like, as a straight person, sexuality is not an aspect of identity to her. It’s just who you fuck and she doesn’t need to know I’m bi because I’m married and she already knows who I’m fucking, ya know? Which was like, devastating for me, because, as a queer person...my sexuality is a huge component to my identity and being closeted is like constantly pretending to be someone else. Like, I think that’s something every LGBT person can relate to, right? The pain that comes with being closeted? The desire to be out and be yourself and be loved the way you are by everyone - not just your significant other? And yet...you have all these LGBT identified people arguing that there’s no reason for aspec people to come out. That it’s between them and their partners what they’re attracted to and what they’re willing or unwilling to do in bed. And it’s...kind of fucking heartbreaking to see the LGBT community so obliviously rehearse to aspec people the same thoughts that straight people have about the LGBT community in general.