𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄

Have you ever had one of those days were you just wish you could turn back time and start the day again?  I have. I had a meeting. But heading home from that, I got absolutely soaked when it poured down with rain. It was dry and the sun was out when I had left so I had no umbrella. Yes, I was wearing a jacket but no hood on it to keep me dry. And then, I get a message on my phone. I had got talking to someone and we set up a first date, only for said message to be from her, cancelling that because she had got back together with her boyfriend. I don't have a problem with that. I am happy for her. It was the fact that because of being soaked from the rain, my phone slipped out of my hand and now needs a new screen. I might have just got back from a trip but I think I need a holiday. How are you doing?

murphy's law hitting you hard, huh? i can relate to those days where you just wish you could hit the rewind button and start over. it's like the universe decided to throw all its curveballs at you at once. getting caught in the rain is never fun, especially when you were just enjoying the sunshine moments before. and then your phone takes a tumble and needs a new screen? ugh, talk about adding insult to injury. but hey, at least you're taking it all in stride. as for the canceled date, well, that's disappointing, but it's great that you're handling it so graciously. i guess sometimes life has its own plans, right? and who knows, maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

i can totally understand how you're feeling about your little one hitting double digits. it's like they grow up in the blink of an eye, right? but hey, congrats on raising such an awesome kid. i'm sure he's inherited some of your fantastic traits, like your sense of humor. and grateful? i'm grateful for my friends, family, cats and dogs, birds too, birds are cool. also grateful for this beer i'm about to drink after a long and boring day at the life of callum turner, hell yeah.

So I apparently slept through an entire music festival and I've only found out about it now I've emerged from my winter hibernation period. Thanks for waking me up and telling me there was an intimate Taylor Swift concert, guys. I'd have pulled myself together and got there in a hot second. Anyway, I'd like to say I won't hold a grudge but you're all dead to me. The only way you can now make it up to me is by telling me every single detail I missed so I don't feel so left out. Who made out with who? Who was found throwing up in the middle of a field after going a little too hard? Tell Aunt Jen everything and get it off your chest. Or just tell me something more boring like who your favorite act was or something, I'll pretend to listen to that too. @hillsfmsstarters

missing out on a taylor swift concert must've been a bummer. i can imagine the regret kicking in once you found out. as for the details, well, i'm not exactly the best source for gossip, but i heard the overall vibe was pretty chill. no major scandals or anything, just good music and good times. i wasn't invited so i'm just going to sit here and pretend i had a really good time.

last night, in the midst of my beauty sleep, i ended up in this wild dream where these aliens made a pit stop on earth. and guess what? they're not here to enslave us or steal our water supply. nope. they want the guacamole recipe! apparently, it's the hottest thing in the cosmos. it's as shallow as the fact that i chowed down on guac last night and my show about aliens just hit the screens. but seriously, what could possibly make aliens lose their little green minds here on earth? or maybe they've already dropped by, caught a glimpse of our memes and thought, "nah, these earthlings are just too much" before zipping off into the great beyond. / @hillsfmsstarters

that dream sounds like it was out of this world! aliens craving guacamole? now, that's a plot twist i never would've imagined. maybe they've been watching too many food shows from light-years away and got curious about earth's culinary delights. or perhaps they're just tired of their own alien snacks and are in desperate need of some avocado goodness. your show about aliens hitting the screens right after your guacamole binge? talk about cosmic timing! maybe those extraterrestrial beings are secretly your biggest fans and decided to drop by for some recipe tips. who knows, maybe they'll even invite you to their planet for a guacamole cook-off someday. we've got quite the collection of internet weirdness that could make even the most seasoned space traveler scratch their head in confusion. but hey, if aliens can't handle our memes, then maybe they're not ready for the full earth experience just yet.