guac

➠ hi i'm guac aka callslips on AO3 and bflottie on twt! <3 (i have pretty much abandoned twitter, but i repost things!)

➠ I AM: 23, mixed poc, transmasc (he/him), and my favorite color is orange!

➠ there will be nsfw posts, minors please dni with those! and terfs dni with ANY content.

➠ i specialize in non-canon compliant works (EVERYTHING has got to be an au with lottienats...)

I've commented on this exact thing before but it was on curiouscat, which is dead, so i will be regurgitating it (and expanding upon it) here, when i get the chance! if there is one thing i Love Love Love it is the way nature & one's connection to it is quintessentially contrasted with logic/reality as if the two can't coexist - and the way it reveals so much about the characters (though, again, i will obviously be focusing on lottienat).

just a warning that another unnecessarily long-winded post is on the horizon <3

and to the inbox i haven't responded to yet, about lottienat being canon or not, i will get to it! it's just ALSO going to be a longer post because i think it deserves a deep-dive. and so, it will have to wait a sec.

i swear about 80% of the arguments you just brought up resurface on a daily basis on yjtwt 😭

i do agree that it is very bizarre when people try to play the Morality Police in a show like yellowjackets

i think this one (the lottienat "grooming" claims) stood out the most because people took it way too far bringing in such a serious topic !

on this note i am going to bed! but look how Pretty she is. i genuinely cannot adequately describe it with words. S4 could be a total flop and i will still always love my slightly sarcastic, eerily prophetic, and effortlessly compassionate girlie <3 lottie matthews you will Always be famous

i don't FULLY understand but i'm gonna try to dive into this:

i think some context is missing from your ask so it's a little difficult, namely what you mean by "lottie abusing/grooming natalie into thinking that way" - what exactly do you mean by 'that way?' - about her past?

because we aren't explicitly told what exactly nat is thinking about - only given the assumption that nat's regression is a sign of healing the younger part of her that never found solace (think back to - "i lost my purpose" - a feeling that likely arose immediately after their rescue), and given that adult lottie's whole shtick is healing (and nothing romantic happens in that scene), that's how i interpret the scene. healing. it's as simple as that.

like - have some of y'all never had a therapist delve into your past to better understand what plagues you in the current day? have you never felt comfortable enough to bring up trauma from your youth? if you have - are you implying your therapist groomed you?

I never really romanticized the scene? Someone might catch me slipping idk but while i have always stacked that scene atop my pile of lottienat moments, i don't think i have ever taken it romantically - it's like, a 17 yr old and 40-some yr old moment ffs. i think it hit more in an emotional way. if i highlight it, it's to show how comfortable nat felt revealing her innermost struggles/pain/wtv. to lottie.

again, and i hate to sound like a broken record, you cannot convince me that lottie groomed nat in any way. i've yet to receive an inbox arguing that point, and i'd love to see the arguments people have in that regard. it honestly just sounds like another fruitless excuse to dunk on lottienat.

in my opinion, being around lottie may have reminded nat of those times. i don't take that as grooming. it's like, if i linked up with my ex best friend and was hit with memories from when we were younger - uncomfortable or not. she didn't GROOM me into thinking about that - it's just an inherent, unavoidable part of our relationship.

that same shit can be applied to lottienat. just, on a much more serious, deeper level, obviously. that's all i really have to say about it.

however. the lion does not concern himself with betrayal so i simply pretend i do not see

thought a solo lottienat shipper followed me and 2 days later they posted tr@vn@t... had a mini crisis because i liked them but in THIS case some lines just cannot be crossed 💔

same goes for l0tt13sh@un@... don't approach me as a lottie matthews stan and then come at me w something like that i'll start tweaking out on you i promise

not because blood ties is second to the fleabag au in terms of importance to me, but because currently my mental state is operating on a level/in a way that doesn't align with the voice of blood ties, or the direction + emotional/relationship development that chapter 3 is meant to establish.

once fleabag is said and done, and i'm able to bump my introspection down MULTIPLE notches given how, up to chapter 2, nat hasn't reached a level where she can critically think (at least, not entirely) about the situation at hand, i'll have to enter a much different mindset.

If that didn't make sense, what I'm trying to convey is that it wasn't until I hit a wall with blood ties that I realized I was making nat too cognizant/understanding of everything, when that really is not the case at all. Instead of trying to bounce back and forth between vastly different levels of introspection - a 26 year old can rationalize a situation far more than a 17 year old - both fanfics will benefit from me being in the correct headspace when I write them.

AKA: i refuse to post slop just for the sake of getting it out there.

we still have so much ground to cover with blood ties, and if i fumble the next stage of development their relationship is meant to go through, the rest of the fic will consequently suffer. hopefully you guys can understand that!

and i hope this makes those who enjoyed the first part of fleabag feel excited to see what's to come, given my A.) dedication to finishing it and B.) awareness that, while it doesn't have to OUTDO the initial chapter, it at the very least has to carry that same emotional je ne sais quoi that it had, and provide a realistic, earned conclusion.

just a little explanation as to why chapter 3 was not updated as was expected. i am sorry to those who were anticipating it - but worry not, it IS coming. once i'm free to slip myself back into the shoes of an undeniably traumatized 17 year old. never thought that sentence would leave my mouth, to be honest.

alright. another long-winded post, but you know me by now. i have given up on my 'brevity is the soul of wit' stance, primarily because it has been grossly misunderstood. context requires detail, and oversimplifying complex ideas will inevitably lead to misunderstandings. (as well as the fact that, upon research, shakespeare was using 'wit' in the sense of intellect and wisdom, not necessarily humor, and in that regard requires elaboration and explanation.) we can all blame polonius (Hamlet) for that misunderstanding.

FUCK FINALLY SOMEONE ASKS ME THIS

i couldn't explicitly describe it without being dumb obvious, i think i either overtly said or hinted that she resembled an older lottie

but in my mind the entire time the therapist was just adult lottie. appearance wise anyway.

fleabag's fine tho, honestly i feel like i'm giving you guys some resolution TOO fast (then again.... cue linger by the cranberries) but i will not be switching up on what i have said previously (update date wise) ‼️

it has received a lot of support which is crazy and actually really cool given i trans'd nat's gender and was partially terrified i'd incite a witch hunt for doing so ! (i just want to be clear the goal was NOT lesbian erasure for those that ship cis lottienat - cause i do too, i contain multitudes. i was just like what if nat was a dudebro in this and then i just... ran with it. i do that with everything i write it's really just a coin toss at this point.)

to see people have an emotional response is also REALLY amazing because i knew at certain points it would be a kick to the gut but i didn't know i could write something that like... ACTUALLY hit. it's very bittersweet because i'm sorry but i'm also not! to everyone that told me they cried i'm kinda glad tbh some of y'all are Very in touch with your emotions. good for you

at the very least my main goal was to make people laugh even though they are actively reading a doomed narrative and are aware of that fact, and it sounds like i was pretty spectacular at doing that which is really All i could ever ask for. even just a chuckle would make me content. i'm simple like that!

“I Love you”

“It’ll pass”

But maybe better not just for my mental health 😭

dawg i would never do that to you 💔 not just because it's explicitly said in the show, but because it's dialogue i both don't need and can't rationalize either of them saying... not yet anyway. we'll see. it doesn't quite align with my plans for them 🧡

i'm really mad i put that tag but the pitchforks and torches that would have come for me if i hadn't...

my homage to fleabag, like my blatant one (beyond sort of aligning their ideologies/rants about sex & what's appealing about it + having them land in a confessional), was the "Do you want to fuck the priest, or do you want to fuck God?" question. THAT piece of dialogue was one i absolutely had to slide in. it's arguably The Most fleabag part of my fleabag au, and i'm not even mad. AND, it comes from the counselor that we only see ONCE, and for not even 5 minutes. insane.

i do agree that what you quoted is definitely one of The Scenes, even rivaling fleabag talking about her mother and saying:

LIKE. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT IT."

oh my god. now, if there's some iteration of that in the epilogue, if some sadistic part of me says 'how can i take this scene and make it even more heartbreaking? how can i put it, unmistakably, in nat's voice? correlate it to what he would ever say/admit to himself?', i'm so sorry. like, genuinely.

that would definitely be the epilogue's homage, if i decide to slip another one in (which is doubtful, because i feel like this au has almost... slightly diverged from fleabag? like, we definitely began there, but at some point it stopped being 'lottienat if they were fleabag' and became something more closely catered to who THEY are, and how much growth they BOTH need to do, even while keeping their respective roles, while in fleabag the priest acts as more of a guide.)

so prepare yourselves? or don't? or do? nat has no boo, which would make it infinitely more devastating, while also making it marginally difficult to implement.

Jk

Unless…

... i got some bad news for you 💔

anywhere between the 17th and the 18th of this month it will be posted... until then....

who knows! a miracle could happen and i could get blood ties ch 3 up tomorrow then get a head start on the epilogue!

because i have to sort of step outside of myself (if that makes sense) to describe the things they do/are doing, when i read over it i'm like... omfggg... good for them 🧡 LIKE I'M NOT THE ONE THAT WROTE IT???

this is all to say i will be Daydreaming about them while at work today !

i was tweaking too i'm ngl i'm done spiraling now 😁

thank you so much!! i don't even remember what i had posted last thanksgiving but i'm glad you enjoyed whatever you read 😭😭

edit: fortnite is kind of kicking my ass .... maybe we're moving directly to blood ties