good morning @callmey1 - Tumblr Blog

lapt0pp

how to grow the fuck up

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what the hell is a mortgage?

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earn $50-$100 by taking surveys

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see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

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How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

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rights when cops pull you over

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time management

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How to write cover letters

Travel

ultimate packing list

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best way to pack a suitcase

how to apply for a passport

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Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

ways to get better at asking for help

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

reasons to stay alive

small daily goals

eatingdisorderssuck01

Imma need this eventually cause they don’t teach you jack squat in school

sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes

Ima schedule to reblog this when I’m 16.

mxdragonturtle

Ima need this eventually

ace-lost-in-motherfucking-space

same fam.

angelmavmurdock

reblogging so i have it for when i leave school in a year yessir

the-haiku-bot

reblogging so i

have it for when i leave school

in a year yessir

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

yes-im-youtube-kids

will need this in future

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cityelf

Left is MY FIC, right is the ACTUAL BOOK QUOTE IT WAS INSPIRED BY

(Mask context: masquerade ball / cinderella au)

It has been doing numbers EVERYWHERE and I only found out from this lovely person who commented on Ao3:

So yeah I guess if anyone wants to read an 8 year old Song of Achilles fanfic written in a fever dream after watching Into The Woods, be my guest

dilf-din

I shit you not, one of my friends got engaged and used this for their caption yesterday 😭😭😭

Should I tell her 🤭

cityelf

NOOOOOO OH MY GOD LMAO

chosenofthegods

That is a new level of containment breach

dogpuppy

lonelyroommp3

cats are genuinely fucking useless man

lonelyroommp3

okay sure that’s progress i guess

lonelyroommp3

WE’RE SO BACK

lonelyroommp3

are you enjoying your One Cold Paw

zhoudadudugongjin

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.

zhoudadudugongjin

me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment

inthefallofasparrow

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teaboot

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

justlightmeonfire

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

teaboot

Also the amulet

whimsicalmayhem

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

teaboot

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

no-one-offical

‎

bowsersex-deactivated20220424

[Mario coin noises]

Mario: [italian american New York Brooklyn accent] HERE’SA MY BROTHA LUIGI NOW TA TELL YA A WHOLE HEAP AND A SPAGHETTI PILE OF INFORMASCIONI.

Luigi: [inhale] [normal person voice] Hello Mario.

absolutewurst

Y’all it is so important that you know this was part of a (fake but well done) Mario themed puberty and sex ed video from the 90s.

depsidase

liberalsarecool

The bubble is nigh.

lizardsfromspace

One of my favorite hoaxes was in early 1962. There was a musical that debuted in 1961 called Subways are for Sleeping that was doing very poorly. For bizarre reasons (ads were banned in the New York subway system lest people take it as permission to sleep there) and normal (the reviews were poor).

But in 1962 an ad came out full of effusive praise from every prominent theater critic in New York. Every single one. From the Times to the Post, all of the famous theater critics in New York LOVED Subways Are For Sleeping

Except...

One of the papers paid to run this ad noticed something...off. Namely, that he knew Richard Watts the theater critic and he wasn't African-American.

It turns out that the producer of the musical had found seven New Yorkers with the same names as the seven biggest theater critics in New York, since while he couldn't lie and say they liked it, but he could pay for *a* John Chapman or *a* Robert Coleman to see the musical and quote them next to their photo truthfully, bc how many people even knew what the leading theater critics in NYC looked like?

Turns out the producer had wanted to do this for ages, but had to wait for the NYT's critic to retire bc he couldn't find anyone with the same name. Anyway it worked: it went from being about to close, to running another couple hundred shows and winning a Tony

Here's the main source for this, btw

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tobiasbones

The other day i bought this yarn cause that’s obviously the trans flag, and I just saw that this colour is called ‘life’! I’m gonna cry

thecryptkeeper

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

koko2unite

me and who

miscellaneous-marios

bloop-doop-woople-deactivated20

Repairing with gold, kintsugi

cumpriest

so funny to me when white american christians are like “ooh i incorporate my religious trauma into my art and thats why i draw these stained glass gothic church gold multi eyed reneissance sculpture angels agnus dei” like i know your protestant southern california ass didnt have any of that. go make some art about this

deoidesign

ok

arsonsara

Damn way to read the assignment and go above and beyond.

sunshine-tattoo

the bleakness and sanitized feel of most American protestant churches really is an underused medium.

sketchy-scribs-n-doods

idk why tf the images were deemed to be ‘violating community guidelines’, but here’s what this post used to look like

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comradekatara

zuko rly thought the avatar was 100 years old, and he was still fully prepared to fucking kidnap him. imagine if that had actually gone down like zuko thought it would. you’re a fully-realized avatar and you’ve been hiding out for over a century and all of a sudden you get approached by this 13 year old kid who’s like “WHATS GOOD I’VE GOT NO DEPTH PERCEPTION AND I’M READY TO FIGHT GOD”