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Scene: A sunny afternoon, Liam Gallagher is kicking a football against the side of the Oasis tour bus. His movements are practised but unsteady, as if he has been drinking. Suddenly he kicks the ball against one of the windows. A voice cries out: Bonehead: Oi, you fucking madhead, give up. I’m trying to read. Liam: (kicking the ball even harder against the same window) Piss off! A dirty and unshowered Bonehead appears at the door Bonehead: ‘Ere’ y’ar, dick, how long ‘til we’re on? Liam: (continuing with the game) I dunno, fuckin’ hours. Bonehead: I think I’ll get someone to sort a car out. Liam: What for? Bonehead: To get a bath. Liam looks suspiciously at Bonehead. Liam: (screwing up his face) What? Bonehead: I wanna get back to the hotel for a bath. Liam: Whatdya mean…a bath? Bonehead: A bath! Liam: A bath?! Bonehead: I mean, madhead, a bath…a deep bowl into which I’ll pour hot water… Liam: (Exasperated) ‘Ere’ y’ar, ‘ere’ y’ar, know what a bath is. Whaddya mean, you’re havin’ a bath? Bonehead: A bath! Liam: I know, I know. But, a bath? Bonehead: I need a bath…I want a bath…so I shall have a bath. (Liam kicks the football at Bonehead. Bonehead ducks and the ball narrowly misses.) Liam: You can’t have a bath, slaphead/ What’s the fuckin’ point of having a bath? Bonehead: To freshen up…sort me fuckin’ kipper out. Whats it got to do with you, anyway? Liam: (Almost turning purple) Nobody has a bath! Baths are for poofs! What’s the point of a bath? Bonehead: I’m having a bath! Liam: No you’re not! Bonehead: What is it to you if I have a bath? Liam: You can’t fuckin be in Oasis if you have a bath! Bonehead: I am having a bath!! Liam: Oasis, right, don’t have baths. Bonehead: I’m gonna get a bath. Liam: Whaddya wanna bath for? (The scene continues without suggestion of a resolution.)

- Ian Robertson, ‘What’s The Story? : A Year With Oasis’