i'm putting you on speaker crab

my name is Fucked Bastard and my special talent is not going to make it

moderation in all things except sex and intoxicants and shirking your responsibilities and profaning the name of god

the problem is giving up genuinely feels so good #imnotdoingthat

I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days

the hole isnt even that bad

I Love germans "Da ist hopfen und malz verloren" like man we cant even make beer out of that guy

the thing about piracy is that i know i deserve everything for free forever

Need to be taken apart and reassembled like a broken watch . Not in a sex way I just think they should put my joints together right this time

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen