{Insert SomethingWittyHere}

got fired from being the entertainer at a bachelor party for twisting the groom-to-be's dick into a poodle shape

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

Thank you to everyone who’s posting their videos, audios, photos, and what not. I hope all of your pillows are cold on both sides!

its actually easy to de-enshittify your digital experience all you need to do is install this browser extension and this browser extension and this browser extension and input this custom script into the advanced box and go into your system settings and reconfigure all these options you didnt know existed and change your entire workflow and switch to this alternative operating system and this alternative web browser and this alternative chat client and this alternative word processor and this alternative- sorry that one turned out to be malware delete that one okay now double check your task manager for unwanted background processes and element block these ads and invest in a good VPN and append all your searches with AI blocking keywords and wait a few years until everything you just did becomes shitty too so you can do it all over again okay kitten. its literally that easy.

on your what

do you think the pieces from chess are all actually mad at each other or are they just like actors

Star Wars would be SO good if it was good

There's a very funny thing that happens in transhuman science fiction where sometimes an author will turn out to be a reactionary conservative who thought he was writing dystopian fiction and intended all the sickass radical body modification stuff to be scary, but he assumed that was obvious and forgot to put it in the actual text.

It's like the literary version of those breathless propaganda thinkpieces where they accidentally make their political opponents sound cool as hell because they have no idea how it reads to anyone whose brain hasn't spent the last thirty years being pickled in fear juice.

Imagine I take you on a date but in reality I just call you on discord and share my screen and make you watch me play games on my puter

Bouncin on it business-lunch style. Call that "touching base"

I don't know how to articulate this well, but I really fucking hate the way a lot of thin writers write fat characters. Like how men write women "breasting boobily" there is something so dehumanizing about how fat characters are often written. "He waddled", "he lumbered", the writer of the book I'm reading always mentions this characters "fleshy hand" when he does something with his hand. Like, we already know that he's fat. There is no need to describe everything he does as "doing it fatly".

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks