bring on the rapture

22/01

✨💘

18/01

Feigning shock, Nathaniel gave a squeeze to the very hips where his hands rested, eyes drawing down to where Jay’s fingertips played across his skin. “D’you really think I’d let your birthday slip by without me getting to fuck you, hm? I mean, there’s gotta be at least one thing in it for me,” he spoke teasingly, whining as his boyfriend suddenly rolled off and stood up, reaching out to make grabby hands for him before the duke was distracted by the sight of his perfect ass sauntering away. “Nope, no hints,” Nathaniel shook his head, swinging his legs off of the side of the bed before moving to stand up himself. “S’all a complete surprise, because what fun is a birthday without any surprises, mm? You wanna eat something here before we go, or should we grab a bite of brunch in the city?” the duke questioned over his shoulder as he strode toward the grand closet.

True to his word, Jay insisted on sucking Nathaniel off in the cabin as soon as they were alone; he landed with another little self-satisfied smirk, though that changed to a genuine expression of excitement at the prospect of spending the day in London. He remembered Nathaniel telling him about a fish and chips stand outside the Tate Modern, but really, the day was wide open and Jay couldn’t wait to see the city again for the first time since a primary school day trip. Though...his brow furrowed some as a new question crossed his mind. Would the duke be recognised with them out and about like this? Would they be approached? Would Jay have to explain who he was? These were things Jay probably should have considered before his great idea to go into the city. So he did what he always did: asked Nathaniel. “Do people, like...can you go around the city and not be noticed? Like, will people recognise you and come up to you?”

Nathaniel’s eyebrows rose in interest at the mention of whether or not he had plans; of course, Jay had absolutely no idea of what he had in store – not like he’d been planning it for weeks or anything. He had a tendency to spoil those that he loved, always lavishing them with gifts; but with Jay, it was different. He actually wanted to do things for Jay just to see the boy happy, for that sole purpose. And that made it so much different than anything else. “We can do anything you want during the day, I’ll have them get the plane for London,” Nathaniel nodded casually as if it were no big deal, anything for Jay. “But tonight, we have to return here. By six at the latest. For.. reasons,” the duke couldn’t keep the grin from returning, head cocking to the side as he tucked a strand of hair behind Jay’s ear. “Reasons for which you won’t know until tonight, birthday boy.”

But then the royal mentioned more plans, something in the evening. “Ooh, mysterious plans in the evening, hm? I hope birthday sex is in those plans somewhere,” Jay teased, fingertips lazily dancing over Nathaniel’s chest. Perhaps he liked these moments best, when they were still, before the day began or just after it ended, and they were alone and soft together. “Do I at least get any hints? Just a small hint?” He pressed a brief kiss to Nathaniel’s cheek before suddenly rolling back over to his side of the bed and getting up, the cold air hitting his naked body.

It was on the particular morning that Nathaniel was slowly roused from his sleep, however, than an even bigger smile than usual of late spread across his features. But god, how could he help it, with Jay being around? “Mmmm?” came the playful murmur, playing dumb for just the beginning, although he was well aware that the grin across his features probably gave him away. “What day is it again? Someone’s birthday?” eyes finally opened as the Duke smiled coyly, gaze roaming over Jay’s pretty features as he pulled the male even more onto his chest, arms securing around the boy. Of course, he’d already planned things for the special day – none of which he’d told Jay anything about, deliberately. It was hard to keep the happiness from his tone as the duke held his boyfriend, eyebrows raising. “Would it happen to be this pretty one’s birthday, mm?” Nathaniel let his fingertips card through Jay’s fringe, still grinning playfully. “No sex for a whole week would be awfully tragic.”

Jay knew that if anyone had told him a year ago that he’d be like this, joking and teasing and laughing and flirting with Nathaniel, with no ulterior motives or sarcasm behind it, he wouldn’t have believed it one bit. And yet here he was, in the duke’s bed, giggling away and content and back home in England. Unbelievable. “I don’t know if you’ve got plans or something for the day, but I was thinking...maybe, if you wanted to, we could go into London, or something? Or just somewhere new to go and have a walk?” he asked, the shyness he still felt from time to time setting in once more. Asking for things still wasn’t something he had become more comfortable with—he’d adjusted to the staff and the elegance and even the etiquette he was expected to observe in certain company, but he couldn’t help but feel like a burden when he asked for anything.

*

You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece And now you’re tearing through the pages and the ink

Our room. Jay rather liked the sound of that too. Calling it theirs as opposed to just Nathaniel’s was the first thing that had really made him feel like his own person since arriving home. Their room, their bed, their own space to hide from responsibilities and whatever Nathaniel might have to do and just spend time together. Already Jay was looking forward to it, to a more permanent room and bed to call home for as long as he stayed. He liked to think it wasn’t a bad thing to enjoy the luxury while it was available to him. “A bath?” he repeated. God, he hadn’t had a bath since he was young. He’d been showering since he was nine and never went back. The thought of a hot, relaxing bath with Nathaniel sounded too tempting to pass up, though—and Nathaniel was right, the trip had been rather long. Maybe a bath was just what he needed to put himself a bit more at ease in the mansion. “Yeah, that’d be nice. Lead the way?” He smiled, a small quirk of his lips, and shyly clung to Nathaniel’s wrist as he let himself be led through the massive home. It seemed the grandeur never ended, something gilded or shiny or jeweled or otherwise elegant around every corner. It felt imposing, surely, but Jay just held tighter, as if to ground himself.

As soon as Jay said the words, he almost wanted to take them back. Almost. He knew Nathaniel was just as nervous as he was, was just as unsure but in different ways, and the gentle tone he got in response made him feel guilty. Of course the duke was only looking out for him and wanting him to feel comfortable. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I get it, I do. And thank you. Can we...well, I don't know if this is asking too much. But can we keep that room like, just in case, if I just need me own space? But I think I'd like to stay with you when I can." When you want me to, he added in his head, still not fully acclimated to the idea that someone like Nathaniel would want someone like him to stick around. The prospect of sleeping alone was a strange one—the last time he had, it had been the week Nathaniel was gone and Jay ended up a confused mess, and Jay had come to crave warmth beside him and around him. "Our room," he repeated, his smile coming back slowly, and his hand went to Nathaniel's. "I think seeing the room now would be nice, though."

Jay’s eyelids fluttered shut, the way they always did when Nathaniel touched him like this. He was still getting used to the soft brushes of fingertips over his cheeks and the sides of his face, like he was something delicate or precious, but a part of him never wanted to, never wanted to lose the fluttery feeling he got in his stomach when it happened. “Good,” he whispered, tilting his face up and smiling into the kiss. “Yeah, I’d feel better if I’m with you.” He didn’t stop to think about the weight of the words, how he’d never felt that way about anyone before, before Nathaniel was next to him, breath hot over the shell of his ear. Jay’s first reaction was to nod and follow him, wanting nothing more than to get lost with him, but the setting up of the guest room still bothered him. “So you want me now, but not later,” he muttered, not moving away but tensing where he stood. “Why...why am I in a guest room? Am I—” Jay shook his head a little. “I...thought I was going to be with you. Like, in your room.”