ℌ𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔯, 𝔅𝔲𝔱 𝔉𝔢𝔪𝔪𝔢 ♡

A wake up to find a spider 'sleeping' next to me on the wall, it's legs curled up in a way that made me wonder if it was alive. But seeing it jolted me awake, anxious and scared of it. But remembering the dream i found myself a way to calm down.

Googling this spider i found they are -crab spiders- which is crazy! Cause the spider in my dream had pincers like a crab!!

Looked into dream symbolism sites to get a general feeling on the meaning, and one of those said that spiders because of their 8 legs can be considered as representing that number and the symbolism that comes with it.

I go to my calendar to update stuff on it and lo and behold today is the 8th day!!!

Yo, the coincidences!!

Back then, i had a joke character who i called Amnesia Cop who had a partner named Ringo Starr. It was mostly a comic series i made in my notebooks, though idk if i lost those. Eventually though i tried to write a story just cause drawing was very tiring.

I had forgotten how absurd the comedy was, it's just a parody of hyper agressive hyper masculine tropes in action movies. But i wrote them with this glee and joy for those tropes that it crosses over to adorable.

important note here is that I'm neurodivergent, i didn't know this back then, but it is crystal clear in this story. The biggest smile in my face came from seeing that by taking on these tropes with no limits or awareness, the gay subtext is pushed to the point amnesia Cop and Ringo Starr are just a gay couple!

it's so funny cause it is a very cute couple? like the way they support each other and play off each other and the way ringo annoys amnesia Cop like a brat and amnesia Cop is always trying to he the dom is kinda cute. But see, I'm not doing this consciously, i have no idea. So I'm subconsciously writing romantic leads while agressively trying to be NO HOMO at every turn, making them sound even gayer!

It's so good. It was like i was seeing my interest in men, transparently come through this hyper ridiculous action comedy, clearly inspired by videogames and the sweatiest manliest 80s and 90s action films.

Thing is that this was.. suppoused to be clexagerating tropes? In a simplistic childish way. So i lts like the story is legitimately funny, but on levels i had not taken into account cause I'm just a closeted, neurodivergent kid who doesnt know why certain things happen in movies or life? Or what is suppoused to be funny about banter? It's just i can't wait to read my older stuff...

i might rewrite this review with quotes n stuff. omg! Btw it's written in comic sans lol

Anyways i just had to write my feelings somewhere, anywhere and so i put it here even if no one reads it.