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I wouldn’t be as cold. But yeah, I’m glad I came here and met you too. If she doesn’t come back, I’ll get you through it and we’ll find you someone else. Some people believe in one person forever, but I prefer to believe that we change so much as we grow, there’s all kinds of people perfect for us in that stage of our life.

Awww, Santana Lopez just said something sweet to me! Thanks, San. You really are a good friend. And...I think that makes sense to me. Like a lot. You’re so smart.

I’ll go with you.

Really?

...I’m too hot to hire someone. Besides, I don’t think I can afford that.

I probably would. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I’d run away to L.A. instead of New York, but I didn’t, so oh well. She’s not going to get another girlfriend, and if she does, she’s an idiot for passing someone like you up. She won’t stay forever.

I’m glad you didn’t. Even though sometimes I think you’re super stubborn, you’re still my friend, and I’d be sad not knowing you. Okay, but we’re not even girlfriends technically. If she doesn’t come back...I’ll just be sad.

I still get twinges of panic when I remember I don’t fit into my high school cheer uniform anymore, but I just have to remind myself that I weighed less at 17 than I did at 13 and at least I’m not in danger of randomly collapsing anymore.

Okay but...you shouldn’t fit into it cause you’re all grown up and stuff now. And like...grown up women are hotter cause they have curves and lines and stuff. Trust me.

Winter’s horrible, isn’t it? Why don’t people go south for the winter like birds? We’d all be a lot less hateful. What Sam stuff? What did she do? Can I hit her?

Old people do! I really miss the sunshine back home at times like this though. I think you’d like California. No, no Sam didn’t do anything. She’s out of town helping her family with some stuff. I just miss her. And we didn’t talk about what we are before she left....so I don’t know. Maybe she’ll meet some other prettier girl there and get another girlfriend.

You’ve a new puppy? Oh, can I meet her? Is she old enough to go out for a walk yet?

I do! You can definitely meet her. She love people. And she love walks! We could go to the park this weekend, if you’re free.

Keshawhatta?

Keshadonna! My puppy. I named her for two of my idols, Kesha and Madonna. Plus she’s blonde like both of them. So far she’s not as good a singer as them though.

I wasn’t saying I wasn’t going to eat. I have moved on from that part of my life. I swear, three times day with a bag of M&Ms in my purse at all times. Nothing to worry about.

Okay good. You’re pretty, and you’d still be pretty, but not as much. Too skinny isn’t very attractive. Oooh, now I know to raid your purse when we go to the movies! I think you don’t have to worry. You’ll be a big star one day. Lord Tubbington told me so. He’s a psychic sometimes.

What’s up, Britt Britt?

Not much. Haven’t been playing soccer with all the snow so I’ve been getting kinda antsy. Plus...some Sam stuff. I took on some extra classes so I’ve been super busy, and I think the person I’ve hung out with most lately is Lord Tubbington...and he’s not even a person.

Do you want to hang out, Britt?

I’d love to hang out, Marls. Anything you wanna do?

I thought American Idol was over.

You’re not allowed to not eat, Santana. I say so.

Ladies, I’m gonna need to call on any favors I owe any of you, because I have been wronged and something has to be done. Those bastards at Yeast-i-Stat picked a ginger for their new commercial over me. Don’t they know the sacrifices I made for them for the other commercial? I was ridiculed for months!

Something better will come along for you, Santana. You’re too good for a silly commercial like that. You should be like...on American Idol or something. Or maybe a Victoria’s Secret commercial. You could be one of the angels!

My suggestion is to just bring her home and if Mushu doesn’t like it, you can remind her that you pay half the rent, so the dog’ll stay on your half of the apartment.

I’m taking care of her for a few days for our neighbor, but he wants to find a home for her. I think I’m gonna keep her. She’s so sweet and cuddly! You totally need to some see her, San!