CaffeinatedPagan

For all my witches out there, here's a handy list of the 2023 dates for the major holidays, full and new moons, and special events. I've listed my sources at the bottom. Dates and times for all events are calculated for Eastern Standard Time, USA, Northern Hemisphere. Adjust for your location as needed. Enjoy!

WOTY Holidays and Solstices

February 1-2 - Imbolc

March 20 - Spring Equinox / Ostara

May 1 - Beltane

June 21 - Summer Solstice / Midsummer

August 1 - Lughnasadh

September 23- Autumn Equinox / Mabon

October 31 - Samhain

December 21 - Winter Solstice / Yule

Full Moons

January 6 - Wolf Moon ♋

February 5 - Snow Moon ♌

March 7 - Worm Moon ♍

April 6 - Pink Moon ♎

May 5 - Flower Moon ♏

June 4 - Strawberry Moon ♐

July 3 - Thunder Moon (aka Buck Moon) ♑

August 1 - Sturgeon Moon ♒

August 31 - Blue Moon ♓

September 29- Harvest Moon ♈

October 28 - Hunter's Moon (aka Blood Moon) ♉

November 27 - Frost Moon ♊

December 26 - Cold Moon ♋

Fun Fact: The title of Harvest Moon is given to either the September or October full moon, whichever falls closest to the autumn equinox. In 2023, as in 2022, that month will be September.

New Moons

January 21 ♒

February 20 ♓

March 21 ♈

April 20 ♈

May 19 ♉

June 18 ♊

July 17 ♋

August 16 ♌

September 14 ♍

October 14 ♎

November 13 ♏

December 12 ♐

Special Events

February 20 - 2nd New Moon in lunar month

April 20 - Solar Eclipse

May 5 - Penumbral Lunar Eclipse

August 30 - Blue Moon

September 29 - Penumbral Lunar Eclipse

October 14 - Solar Eclipe (Annular)

October 28 - Lunar Eclipse (Partial)

Mercury Retrogrades (in case you need them)

Dec 29, 2022 - Jan 18, 2023

April 21 - May 14

August 23 - September 15

Dec 13, 2023 - January 1, 2024

SOURCES:

Moon Info - Full Moon 2023

Calendar-12.com - Moon Phases 2023

Full Moonology - Full Moon Calendar 2023

Moon Calendar - Full Moons and New Moons in 2023

Yearly Horoscope - Mercury Retrograde 2023 Dates and Times

Your Zodiac Sign - 2023 Astrology Calendar

The Pagan Grimoire - The Wheel of the Year: The 8 Festivals in the Wiccan Calendar

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If you're enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊

Every witch....every single one....goes through this. We all have times where we can manage a regular practice and everything seems to be going smoothly. And then life will intervene, illness will happen, things will be busy with work or school, or maybe our mental health won't be in the best place, and witchcraft will fall by the wayside for a time.

Try returning to the things that originally inspired you. Make a witchy playlist for your down days. Wear that special jewelry or that cute witchy outfit without waiting for a special occasion. Weave witchcraft into your everyday routine so that you can do it with little to no effort. Find magic in small things as well as big ones.

The important thing to remember is to be patient and be kind to yourself. Try not to get frustrated or discouraged, and whatever you do, don't give up. Things will turn around again. They always do.

And you are STILL a witch, no matter if you practice every single day or just intermittently when you can manage it. Everyone has to take breaks now and again. The craft will be waiting when you find your groove again.

PERSONAL PROTECTION

Jar Spells & Pouches

“Bubbly Friend” Protection and Cleansing Jar Spell

“Tough As A Nail” Protection Spell

“Portable Barricade” Spell Jar

“Protect My Ass” Spell Jar

“Stay The F*ck Away From Me” Protection Jar

Jar Spell for Protection

Witchywoman’s Protection Jar

Shiroinightmare’s Protection Bottle

Gender/Sexuality Protection Jar Spell

Sea Witch’s Protection Bottle

Stormy Protection Spell Jar

Elemental Protection Jar Spell

Dragon Protection Jar

Protection Jar Against Bindings & Hexes

Basic Warding Jar

Making A Witch Bottle (Charm)

Witches Bottle for Protection

Potent Protective Witch Bottle

Blood Magic Protection Jar

Mini Protection Vial

Ares Protection Pouch

‘Sweet Tooth’ Spell Sachet

Protection Pouches

Protection Pouch

Protection Sachet

Protection Sachet for School

Amulets

Simple Protection Amulet

“Untouchable” Charm Ward

Subtle Protection Amulet

Coral Protection Amulet

Sunglasses Enchantment

Ways to Make Amulets

Simple Protection Necklace

Strength & Safety Amulet

Protection Vial Necklace

Wonder Woman’s Bracelets

Sword & Shield Graveyard/Spirit Jewelry

Nasty Witches’ Brew Protective Jewelry

Bath/Shower Magic

“Armour of Love” Protection Bath

Powerful Cleansing Bath

Simple Purification and Protection Scrub

“Master Protector” Body Scrub

Gossip-Stopping Scrub

Shower Disks for Protection

Pine Protection Balm

Kitchen Witchcraft

Purification and Protection Soup

Fondant Potatoes for Protection & Prosperity

Self Love & Protection Recipe Spell

Abundant Apple Pie Cookies

Grandma’s Pumpkin Bread

Potions

Cleanse & Protect Spray Potion

Rose Shield Potion

Protection Potion

Pisces Protection Potion

Return To Sender Vigor Potion

Bucking Bronco Vigor Potion

Charge Vigor Potion

Spells

Bravery/Protection Spell

Aroma Veil Spell

Protection Spell for Queer Folks

Spell For Protection While Coming Out As Trans

‘Hiding Secrets’ Spell

Stronger Than You Spell

Protection Against Bullies

“Belittlement Barrier” Spell

Expecto Patronum

Substitute Spell

Curse Decoy

LoZ Magic Armour Protection Spell

Riddikulus Charm

Snowdrop Protection Spell

Method for Protection Against Undesired Spirits or People

Evergoing Spell

Rose Quartz Shielding Spell

Protection Candle Spell

Protection Chant

Night Protection Spell

Night Protection Spell #2

Protection Against Curses, Hexes & Bad Energies

Maka’s Black Blood Dress

Mars Celestial Fire Surround

Plutonic Protection Spell

‘Dark Dome Close’ Sailor Pluto Spell

Moon Tiara Magic

Jupiter Thunder Crash

Mind Blast Spell

Metal Claws Spell

Expelliarmus

“Back To You, B*tch” Protection Spell

‘Return To Sender’ Spell

‘Backfire’ Curse Repelling Enchantment

Engraved Hourglass Nebula Curse Return Spell

‘Trainer Chose Squirtle’ Spell

Black Salt Spell for Protection & Absorbing Negativity

Protection Spell Against Negative People & Psychic Vampires

Wards/Rituals

‘Don’t Go In The Dog Park’ Ward

Nail Polish Ritual

PC Magic Warding Ritual

Positive Energy/Banishment of Evil Incense Ritual

‘Fire Rose’ Healing & Protection Ritual

Protection Ritual for the Downtrodden

Sigils

I Am Shielded From Acts of Violence

I Am Protected From Unwanted Spiritual & Physical Entities Who Would Do Me Harm

Protection From Evil Spirits

I Am Safe

I Am Safe At Work

I Am Aware of My Surroundings & Protected

I Am Protected From All Negativity

I’m Protected From Negative Vibes

No Negative Energy Can Affect Me

I Repel Ignorance and Negativity

Protection From Bad Intentions

Protection From Unwanted Eyes

I Am Safe From Fascists

I Am Safe From Transphobia

Those Who Would Harm Me Suffer Their Own Ill Intentions Turned Back On Themselves

I Am One With The Forest

Earth Protection

Protection + Happiness

Ace/Aro Protection Sigil

Protection Sigil/Charm

No Evil Can Touch Me

Sigil for Protection Against All Forms of Magickal Attack

Sigil to Protect One Against All Forms of Possession

Sigil of Protection

Protection

Protection

HOME PROTECTION

Spell Jars

Simple Home Protection Jar Spell

“I Don’t Know Sh*t My Dudes” Protection Jar

My Home Is Protected Spell Jar

House Protection Jar

Home Protection Spell Bottle

Peace & Protection Bottle

Peace & Protection Spell Jar

Home Purification/Protection Spell Jar

Sleeping Beauty House Protection Jar Spell

Mama Cat’s Evil Eye Protection Jar

Sprays & Washes

House-Warding Spray

All-Purpose Cleansing Spray

Protective House Wash

Protective Floor Wash

Rituals

Protecting Yourself And Your Home (Basic Ward Ritual)

Three Elements Home Blessing & Protection Ritual

‘Protect My Space’ Pouch & Ritual

Wards

Quick Protection Ward

Prickly Protection Ward

Protective Storm Ward

Patronus Ward

“Let Only Good Energy In” Horseshoe Ward

Moonbeam Ward

“The Hedgehog” Green Witch Ward

Pumpkin Wards

Complex Bramble Ward

Weaving Protection Wards (ADVANCED)

Spells

Simple Protection Spell

Simple Herbal Protection Spell

Simple Hearth & Home Protection Spell

Home & Body Protection Spell

Clearing Negative Energy from a Room

Home Protection Steam Spell

My Home Is Protected Spell

“Protect My Home” Spell

Home Protection Spell

Home Protection Charm

House Protection Spell

Spell to Protect Your House

House Protection Charm

Threshold Protection Spell

Protego Totalum (Harry Potter Spell)

Four Shells Protection Spell

Pine Cone Prosperity & Protection Spell

“Little Lurkers” Home Protection Spell

Home Protection Spells

A Series of Protection Spells

Strong Home Protection Spell

Home Protection Tip

Home Protection Tip

Sigils

My Home is Protected

My Home Is Protected

This Home Is Protected

Sigil for Protecting One’s Home

Protect This Home

My Home Is A Safe and Healthy Environment

The House I Come Back To Is Safe For Me

Only Positive Energies May Enter My Space

Negative Forces Do Not Enter Here

GRIMOIRE PROTECTION

Spells

Simple Protection Jar For Your Grimoire

Grimoire Protection Spell

Hidden Object Charm

The Serpent’s Lock/Serpent’s Key

Sigils

Protection From Prying Eyes

All Prying Eyes Are Diverted; This Grimoire Is Cloaked In Invisibility

This Item Will Not Be Found

I’m Safe. This Object Is Safe.

The Book in Which This Sigil Is Written Cannot Be Lost or Stolen

This Grimoire Is Protected

This Grimoire Is Protected

My Grimoire Is Protected

Grimoire Is Protected From Those With Ill Intent

This Book of Shadows Is Protected

This Book Is Protected

So I had big plans for this weekend, including cleaning my apartment, working on podcast stuff, and mailing a ton of packages. Then halfway through Saturday, I started running a fever and I’ve basically been flattened ever since. Ragnar and the kitties are looking after me and I’m going to the doctor tomorrow to get checked out. (No respiratory symptoms, so PRETTY sure it’s not COVID.)

If you’ve placed an order within the past 2 weeks, there may be some slight delays with shipping, and for that, I apologize. I’ll get your packages in the mail the minute I’m physically able to do so.

Until then, it’s bed and cartoons and soup for me.

Husband took me to urgent care today, as my fever was still there, and they tested me. Turns out I have COVID after all. Which means we’ll both be quarantining at home for the next 10+ days.

There’s not much to be done unless one of us starts displaying life-threatening symptoms. Mostly we just have to wait it out.

And I’m so sorry, ducklings, but this does mean that several packages are going to be VERY late in getting mailed out. If you’d prefer a refund, I’m happy to oblige.

The good news is, we’re both pretty healthy and also horrendously stubborn.

What do we say to the god of death?

If you hear someone downplaying COVID as just a bad flu, they are LYING. Sure some people only get mild symptoms. But plenty do not. Including me, it seems.

I’ve been battling this for a solid week now with only the barest markable improvement. I seem to have gotten the GI symptom package rather than the upper respiratory one, but it’s still a misery. I’m exhausted and scared and I’ve never felt so helpless. It’s a rotten feeling.

Fortunately, Super Husband Ragnar has been waiting on me hand and foot to make sure I have everything I need. It’s been a fulltime job, and he’s being a real trooper.

I have a goal on my Ko-fi!

I aim to get a PO Box, so I can stop providing my hone address every time it’s needed. For my safety, obviously. The cost is $170 per year.

My Kofi is here: https://ko-fi.com/khanji

And alternative ways to pay are here: PLEASE make sure you label what it’s for, or it’ll get tossed into another donation bin.

PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/jnwampler

CashApp: $kajiw

So some hafu white girl from Everett with a BA in farming calling herself an Ainu shaman wants to show up to Seattle and tell the BIPOC community what’s up. What’s a hometown kid to do?

What’s the sitch? Here’s the short version

Myself, and members and elders of the Wakkotan and Atuy Kotan spoke with Marika Clymer on November 28, 2020. It was after this and these online interactions that we concluded that Marika Clymer speaks with no educational or experiential position of authority, has no respect for individual kotan or personal protocols, disrespects the hierarchy structure of our kotan, and spits in the face of our kamuinomi.

Within my unarpe’s Ainu In Diaspora group she has stepped in front of elders and knowledge keepers assuming positions of authority with no prior discussion, nor consent of the group runners.

Marika Clymer told us that she holds an Ainuic haplotype, and that someone told her she was special, and she is using this as justification to sell herself as a tourist minstrel Ainu without she herself having to experience the same financial and socio-economical burdens our Utari in Ainu Moshiri have to endure under direct colonization to survive and thrive through heritage craftwork.

This was an issue I had regarded as a semi-private inter-community issue, but Marika’s public financial exploitation of Ainuic heritage has put me in the position to either make a public statement, or be seen as quietly approving of her activities.

As an ambiguously Asian woman she has chosen to Orientalize herself as a “shaman” and grift an under educated Western audience who wants to buy off their white guilt for $1800

This is an alert to the community about the fraudulent, harmful and hurtful behavior of Marika Clymer who claims to be a Reiki healer promoting “decolonization” of Reiki for the BIPOC community. In fact, Ms. Clymer takes advantage of the BIPOC community by charging $1800 to spread misinformation, and slander elders (claiming Hawayo Takata was a “mad hustler”), while Marika markets herself and her workshops as somehow being more authentic because she claims to be a Japanese and Ainu person. It is with a heavy heart that I make this statement, as I feel responsible as someone who has encouraged our Ainu community to embraced our traditional world view which colonizers describe as ‘shamanic’, and to use genetic testing as a tool to locate roots back to Ainu Mosir. I never imagined that such touchstones for our Ainu identity would be abused by a Japanese person like Marika in such a way. To the Ainu community in Hokkaido and Russia, to my friends, teachers, Knowledge Keepers, and family- I apologize for not protecting you from Marika Clymer’s cultural appropriation and cultural consumption. I vow to do better for you in the future.

In my interactions with Marika Clymer, I found her to be hypocritical, and guilty of the very cultural appropriation, theft, and sale of misinformation, which she admonishes Western healing practitioners for allegedly doing. Marika Clymer first approached me in my DM looking for information about Ainu. I try to always be a safe person for anyone looking to make an authentic connection with the Ainu community in diaspora. I noticed that she was quickly regurgitating information from me to her large IG following providing no context. I began to feel unsafe and used. After talking to her in depth about her family history, there were facts which she shared that did not necessarily match up with the emigration history typical of Ainu in Diaspora/Repun Kuru community. I will honor the promise of confidentiality in that group and not share those details publicly. However, it is important to note, that Marika Clymerʻs claim to Ainu ancestry is questionable, even from the facts that she has publicly shared. Clymer claims that her haplotype (N9B) is most prevalent in Ainu. That is INCORRECT. In fact, her haplotype is most present in the Japanese, Udegey, Nanai, and Korean populations, and in some ancient people labeled ‘Jomon’ in the southern region of Japan. I would NEVER-EVER deny or proclaim Ainu-ness based on a genetic test alone. Indigenous people themselves should as a group decide who can share in their heritage and who cannot. Despite our community telling Marika Clymer to slow down and to learn and build understanding and relationships before appropriating practices such as the Nuye (mouth tattoo) which is typical of the Ainu women from Hokkaido, Sakhalin, and Kuril, Clymer continued to consume Hokkaido Ainu culture, and market herself as an Ainu, with no real grounding in her background and own ancestry. But worse, she portrayed herself as someone who is at all knowledgeable enough to teach others and encourages people who do not know any better to disrespect traditional practitioners based on her Japanese “blood lineage”. This thinking has roots in Japanese fascism, and is the root of the disregard to the humanity of my Aboriginal ancestors by the broader Japanese population. No true BIPOC ally would share the misinformation that she does, and continue to misrepresent herself despite our community’s plea for her to STOP.

It uses the “Witchcraft” and “Wicca” fuckin interchangeably 

It suggests you’re one dreadlock and eagle feather away from being your very own, white Shaman

It claims “Voodoo” is a super fun, spooky thing that everyone should join in on

Smudging is cool, also, has anyone seen my works cited? Oh that’s right, I didn’t make one.

If you curse, you are mustache twirling devil and the 3 fold law is gonna send your ass to witch hell 

All witches, Wiccan or not should abide by the rede or burn the hell up in the aforementioned fictional witch hell

Ignorantly throws around the word “Chakras” like fuckin mardi gras beads 

You even see the word gypsy once

Spices things up with some sacred, closed and wildly un researched Native American Spiritualism

Miscellaneous new age white person spiritualism

And here’s some Ohms.  ૐ ૐ ૐ 

I’m not sure what what they but have some more Ohms ૐ ૐ ૐ ૐ ૐ 

It suggests that “witch” is a gendered term or refers to witches (and possibly the reader) exclusively with she/her pronouns.

It sets hard timelines on length of study before you can call yourself a witch or learn certain skills or try certain activities i.e. “year and a day before you can cast a spell” with a hand-wave of an explanation. (Bonus points if it’s a book that’s supposedly for solitary witches.)

It says anything about youth being inherently magical. Big honking red flag.

“The Law of Attraction TOTALLY works! You just need to be more positive!”

You don’t need medicine or doctors, just drink this crystal herb elixir and do this spell, oh and don’t forget to put mugwort in your tea. What are health warnings?

But of COURSE we can apply modern concepts to ancient narratives without any regard for the historical record! There was totally a pre-Christian Irish potato goddess! 

NINE MILLION DEAD WITCHES!!!11!!!1!!eleventy

https://awaksupegage.com

gray witch

storm witch

dream witch

deity work (specially with Hypnos, Eros, Anubis, Anhangá, Ticê, Iris)

beginner practitioner/witch

candle work

crystal work

shadow work

You can charge the water yourself. You can cleanse your crystals yourself. You can do the love spell yourself. It’ll just take more. But don’t force yourself to do shit you don’t want to do just because it’s the full moon, you need to feel like it’s the right time, you can’t force it.

This is the website of the Mashpee Wampanoag tribe.

These are the People who met the “pilgrims”.

 In spite of this, the US government doesn’t fully acknowledge their sovereignty as a Tribal Nation, or human rights, or their right to live in their own home land.

They are trying to keep their last few scraps of land out of the greedy grabbing hands of the Tr^mp Administration.

Land is more than square footage. It’s ancestral sites, it’s the right to say ‘We live here and you can’t just throw us out when it’s convenient to you’, and it’s Family for generations, and it’s Home.

Since January [2020], San Carlos Apache tribal member Wendsler Nosie Sr has been sleeping in a teepee at a campground in south-eastern Arizona’s Oak Flat, a sprawling high desert oasis filled with groves of ancient oaks and towering rock spires. […] A dozen south-western Native American tribes have strong cultural ties to Oak Flat. But the Trump administration, in its waning days, has embarked on a rushed effort to transfer ownership of the area to a mining company with ties to the destruction of an Aboriginal site in Australia, the Guardian has learned. […]

Last month [October 2020] tribes discovered that the date for the completion of a crucial environmental review process has suddenly been moved forward by a full year, to December 2020, even as the tribes are struggling with a Covid outbreak that has stifled their ability to respond. If the environmental review is completed before Trump leaves office, the tribes may be unable to stop the mine. […]

In Oak Flat, the beneficiaries will be a company called Resolution Copper and its two Anglo-Australian parent firms, the mining conglomerates Rio Tinto and BHP. […] Last May [2020], Rio Tinto blasted a 46,000-year old sacred Aboriginal site in Juukan Gorge, in western Australia […].

Once the final Oak Flat environmental review is released, the land exchange must happen within 60 days. Ownership of Oak Flat could transfer to Resolution Copper before Joe Biden’s 20 January inauguration. […] “If the land exchange happens, it will be difficult to roll back […]. That is why this cannot be rushed. […] The damage is irreparable.”

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Headline, image, caption, and text: Annette McGivney. “Revealed: Trump officials rush to mine desert haven native tribes consider holy.” The Guardian. 24 November 2020.

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From other sources:

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Like many others I am struggling financially during this time, I won’t go into the details but I could use some additional income.

I’ve done countless free readings for tumblr peeps and friends/family in person. And donation based readings in person or casually at events. My readings are intuitive and usually resonate strongly with my clients.

Tarot Rates:

1 card - $3

3 cards - $7

4 cards - $10

More than 4 we can work out depending on what you’re looking for

tumblr is probably gonna destroy the quality, but here’s a quick little comic i came up with last night! an asexual child of aphrodite asks for some guidance from her mom. 

(ACE EXCLUSIONISTS DO NOT INTERACT, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU)

my writing is a little bit illegible, so there’s a visual description with text under the cut: 

There’s a running joke among people who know me personally that I unwittingly go out in public with a sign on my forehead stating “I Am Non-Threatening. Come Talk To Me.” Because if there’s a chance a bizarre conversation with a total stranger is going to happen, I’m typically the person it happens to.

Some context: I have been pretty darn sick this week. (It’s not Coronavirus, don’t worry.) Since the work in my queue for my day job is comprised entirely of audio narration right now, and I currently sound like a waterlogged Demi Moore, I haven’t been able to work these last couple of days. As a result, I’ve been using my down time to knock out as much of Manu’s redesign as possible. Today, to ensure I didn’t spend the day languishing in sinus misery, I medicated the crap out of myself and took Manu to the Starbucks down the block from my son’s day care.

I hit the bathroom, then picked an empty table, but as soon as I sat down with my venti Comfort Tea and started tweaking the inks on my iPad, I felt the eyes of the man next to me looking over my shoulder.

When I looked up, he had his phone out. “I’m sorry,” he said (in a thick accent I couldn’t place geographically), “I don’t want to disturb. I notice you art. You are artist!”

I tried to smile. “Yes, I’m... Well, I’m trying to be,” I croaked.

He leaned in, like he was sharing a secret.

“I am artist, too.”

He stuck out his hand.

I gently took it, grateful for the bathroom trip I just took in which I washed the scourge off of my fingers.

“Can I?” he asked, holding his phone up.

“Take a picture? Uh... sure,” I said. It’s not like he would be able to steal Manu out from under me or anything, I figured. The panel I was tweaking was magnified out to Guam.

“I am artist. Architect and Designer,” he clarified while he steadied his phone over my iPad. “I am Ilker. What is your name?”

“I’m Venessa” I said, trying to be polite. This, I thought warily, is precisely how I get myself into trouble. I’m too damn nice.

“You know, I come to America twenty years ago from Turkey...”

I put down my stylus. This was going to be a while.

“I like Turkey,” he explained. “I like the country and I like the people. But I am artist. I am not... religious man.”

I nodded.

“I told my wife I was going to go to America and she said, “what are you going to do? You don’t have job! You don’t have money! No Visa!” And I said, “I am artist and architect. I will paint and sell my paintings.

“So I come to America alone. To New York City. I sit outside, and I paint. And people, they liked my paintings. They bought them. This one for $30, that one for $50.

“One day, a man comes over to me and he say, “I like your painting. I see you are also architect.” And he gives me his number and asks me to go to meeting at his office. Because he wants to offer me a job. He starts to talk about a building contract.

“I tell him I don’t know anything about contracts. I have no Visa. I am not American citizen. But he says, “That’s okay. I will take care of everything. You will have nothing to worry about.” And this man, he gave me a job. $173,000 a year. And my wife, he gave her a job too. She was project assistant. I bring her and my two daughters over from Turkey.”

“Wow,” I said, not fully believing the veracity of what sounded like a full-on immigration fairy tale.

“Here,” said Ilker, unlocking his phone and opening up his Facebook app. “I show you my work.” He paused and looked up at me. “I am interrupting. You don’t mind?”

At this point, I was invested. I had to see. Because whatever he was about to show me would either prove or disprove this yarn he was spinning. “Please,” I said, gesturing for him to go ahead.

He opened his photos and my jaw dropped. His work... was UNREAL.

“This is building I designed on Madison Ave.... And this one in Chelsea...”

Holy crap. I had just been to Chelsea with my sister last month on a trip to see a broadway show. I had crossed the intersection of the building he was, at this moment, telling me he designed.

He flipped through more buildings. These, he’d designed in Washington, DC. In Bethesda. In Arlington. All beautiful, streamlined, modern structures I had visited and parked my car in front of. He told me he did much of his concept work freehand. That he worked exclusively in natural media. His preferred media was pen, ink, watercolors, and chalks.

Between photos of his wife and daughters, he went on to show me photos from the RUSSIAN EXHIBITION OF HIS ARCHITECTURE ARTWORK.

Y’all, I was stunned. I couldn’t believe the talent I was sitting next to. Scattered among these gloriously rendered images of some of the most beautiful building concepts I’d ever seen were paintings of scenes in Central Park, the National Mall, and nudes from a life-drawing session he attends from time to time.

When he was done flipping through his phone, he looked at me and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind that I interrupt you. I show you all this because what you are doing is very good. And you should be encouraged. To draw is to make beauty.”

I nodded, a lump in my throat. “Thank you,” I managed. “Your work is astonishing. I don’t even know what to say. What is your name again?”

He held out his hand once more. “Ilker Kocahan,” he said. “I am getting more coffee. Can I get you one?”

I looked at my still-full venti cup. “No thank you. But here, please take my card.”

He held my dinky business card like I’d handed him a treasure and thanked me.

Then Ilker got his coffee, and left the coffee shop.

At some point in his ramblings he talked about America as a place of dreams. How he credits this country with helping him rise to the top of his field where he is now able to sell his paintings for $800-$1000 a piece now that he’s retired. My heart ached to hear him talk about that, knowing how our leadership’s positions on immigrants have taken such a dark and horrifying turn.

Imagine the buildings and museums and public places that would never have been if a business man in the park hadn’t lifted up a Turkish painter who spoke little English.

And now that painter was paying it forward on me.

I still feel pretty darn sick. I’ve still got body aches and a nose that has taken the rest of my face hostage.

But today was a really good day. And I just wanted to share it with you in case you are looking for reasons to keep drawing/painting/dancing/writing. It all counts and it is all good.

If you would like to see Ilker Kocohan’s work, please click here.

As luck would have it, I saw Ilker one last time before my area received the mandate to start social distancing. I came into the Starbucks to work on the “Simon Is On the Ground” comic while waiting to pick up my kid from day care, and there he was, happily chatting with the Starbucks manager, who gifted him with a Starbucks hat while I ordered my tea.

A week had passed since our first meeting, so I wasn’t sure he’d recognize me. Lo and behold, as I turned the corner, I caught his eye, and he waved at me. This time, I asked if I might sit with him, and he warmly offered the seat beside him.

While I settled in, he told me that his project was being delayed and that he was going to leave the area and fly home before COVID-19 could make it impossible to travel. The hat was for his wife, whose only understanding of Starbucks was that Ilker really liked the coffee.

As one might expect, we immediately fell into another conversation about art, except this time, I eagerly abandoned my work to hear him talk.

And friends, did I ever get a master class.

He pulled up a painting on his phone which he’d sold for $800. It was a life drawing in ink and watercolor of a woman in a demure gesture, barely detailed and colored in but for her rose-tinted lips and the shadow cast across her neck. He said he felt sad that he’d sold it because he really loved how it came out.

“This is no detailed like yours,” he said, comparing his painting to my panel of Simon and Baz. “Mine is simple. But in a few strokes, I can capture the life of the lady.”

He took his napkin, turned it over, and pulled a pen out of his chest pocket. “Look there,” he said, pointing to a man sitting a few tables away. He began to scribble away on the napkin, lines and lines and more lines. “You see,” he murmured as he ran his pen over the napkin, “I can, with speed, capture the man. I don’t have hours to ask him to sit. I must let go of the planning.”

In seconds, the man across the room took shape on the napkin in a series of confident if also messy lines. It was incredible to watch.

I could instantly see what he meant. He had not produced a photorealistic version of this person on the napkin. But he had captured the man’s essence. The aura of a real person sitting contemplatively with his coffee while reading the Washington Post. I could feel the life of the drawing radiate from the paper.

(When he was done, to my horror, he crumpled up the napkin.)

I shyly mentioned that I’ve been working hard on my own gesture drawing, but had a long way to go, so he asked to see my sketchbook.

I mean... is there even a word in the English language to describe the combination of dread and embarrassment that precedes showing an art master your crap-ass sketchbook that no one sees but you? I didn’t know what to do with myself as he sat there and flipped through the pages.

Eventually, he nodded approvingly and said, “Okay! Is good. But this is sketchbook like every other.” He gestured at the page. “Where are you?”

I was lost for how to respond, but lucky for me, he’s a talkative guy seemingly incapable of awkward silences.

“The world needs to see you in the lines,” he explained. “Someone can look at my work and know, ‘that painting is from Ilker Kocahan.’ You need to draw more and more so that when people look at your drawings, they will know: this work is Venessa’s work.” Then he shrugged and said, “And who knows. I will maybe see you in two years at this Starbucks, and by then, your drawings will be truly yours.”

I’ve shared this story with some close friends who took mild offense on my behalf at his observations, but I really think it took sitting there watching him draw to understand exactly what he was talking about.

Ilker Kocahan has no imposter syndrome. He is supremely confident in every possible way where his art is concerned. The lines that flowed from his pen were fueled by his soul, not his brain. I didn’t think artists like him existed anymore until I was sitting there looking over his shoulder while he scribbled a man into existence, like it was nothing. When I asked if he plots out the perspective on his building sketches in advance, he shook his head no and doodled this on my cake pop wrapper while he rambled on about the components he likes to include in his architecture concepts:

(Don’t worry. I kept it.)

So when he talked about “finding me” in my sketches, I really think he could sense—by the light scratch of the pencil, the trace evidence on the paper of my erasing and failed attempts—my own lack of confidence, my second guessing and self-doubt. My desire to be as good as other artists instead of my desire to express myself.

And in that sense, everything he was saying about my sketchbook was correct. He urged me to get off the iPad as often as possible. To sketch with ink, which is riskier because you can’t erase it, and in that way, give myself no choice but to commit to the lines.

The conversation turned to lighter things after that. He’s apparently an extremely talented basketball player who loves hanging out with his wife and kids. His daughters are both designers. He thinks quirky viral videos are the best thing about the internet. (I agreed.) He’s weak for New York pizza.

Eventually, he bought me a refill for my tea and asked if I would meet him again in a couple of days so he could talk to me about my artwork and help me with my sketching. He even added me as a Facebook friend. When I left the Starbucks to pick up Colin, I was so excited and overwhelmed and grateful to the universe for bringing me into his acquaintance, I texted everyone in my family about it.

But as fate would have it, that night, the local government released its mandate regarding social distancing. He’s likely in Belarus right now with his wife.

I won’t lie and say I’m not devastated that I lost the chance to be his student for an afternoon. But the impression these coffee shop chats left on me was profound. I think about it all the time. For one who struggles with feeling like the artist version of Pinocchio waiting around for permission to be a real boy, it makes all the difference in the world to linger in the huge, unstoppable energy of someone who lives without an inner critic.

I hope I get to see him again after the quarantine is over. I’d love to see if I can fulfill Ilker’s prophecy and meet back at that Starbucks in two years with a different sketchbook in tow. One that I can hand over knowing without doubt or trepidation that anyone looking for me in the work need look no further than the bold stroke of my hand.

Taken the last time we chatted:

That said, you can imagine how my heart sank when last night he sent a message out to his Facebook friends letting us know he contracted Coronavirus and has been hospitalized. He’s been ill for two weeks now.

I asked for his consent to share this with friends in case it could inspire some good vibes, and he agreed. If you felt moved by his wisdom and kindness in the above posts and feel inclined to send a healing thought his way today, I would be grateful. While I believe his constitution is strong thanks to his being so active, this virus doesn’t discriminate, and the world needs humans like Ilker Kocahan right now. (Or at least, I do.)

I am happy to report that he is back home from the hospital as of this week and reportedly feeling better. He said he feels extremely lucky and credited his healthy/happy lifestyle for his resilience via text message. I quote: 

“No smoking No Drunk Basketball Good food Family life enjoying And happy character” 

While he was in the hospital he generously texted me photos of little notes he’d scrawled on paper napkins of his vitals (temperature, blood pressure, blood O2 levels) since I had asked him to keep me posted. Of all the notes he sent, this one was the most interesting, as it shows they’ve been making patients sleep in a prone position with some kind of ventilation over the face, presumably to leverage gravity in opening up the lungs?

Anyway, I’m so grateful to everyone who sent well wishes and look forward to passing along those kind messages to him after this. Thank you, thank you for those good vibes.  ❤️

I hope that if and when I ever come down with something scary like COVID, I can handle it with as much grace as this guy right here: