caffeine-induced lass

To say I was in a slump for years is partly incorrect - no one knew the world of words I've built, the world in my mind that is vast and unexplored, as the years passed by with my physical body going through the motions of every day.

I wasn't in a slump. I think it is more apt to say that I chose to deal with reality by finishing my college degree, working for some time, and realizing that corporate life is not meant for me. I prefered the hustle and bustle of learning and being around people who need me, so here I am pursuing medicine.

But then here comes the complexity of medicine - studying the human body is nothing short of amazing and intrigue and hard. Procrastination is not going to cut it, yet here I am procrastinating by pouring out these words (lol). The tenacity and grit required to overcome what med school has and will throw at you is supposed to be something within your blood. And I'd like to think I have it within me. But the burnout of having to absorb every bit of the mountains of information has been overwhelming and it's only the first year. Then again, I prayed for this; I chose this path myself and I couldn't be more challenged, proud and conflicted because I am enjoying medical school but at the same time, it's tiring and draining as hell. To each their own.

Alas, this past few weeks, I've gone back to reading fiction and novels and yes, instead of reading past lessons for the three remaining finals I need to pass this year, I've enjoyed that bit of respite. And so, I've been reading mostly romance, and this certain book, I Dreamt That You Loved Me: A Love Story by Emery Rose, somehow reading about music and art and poetry and literature entwined in the book touched that yearning I had with words - vomiting my heart out here through letters, and I couldn't be happier. Because at some point, I thought I lost this part of me after reality sank in.