WORLD WITHOUT END

🏺MAXWELL/VINNY 🏺

[there was a car accident marinetti had that inspired the whole movement]

[hellmouth also hates women]

“…Afraid for their life, they turn and ride backwards on the Road of destiny. In 3 minutes, an NCR sniper will have spotted them and taken aim. In 5 minutes, they’ll be condemned forever to a life they now wish to escape. In 8 years, another bullet will hit the target where this one failed, but they do not escape the first grave.”

so, as a general context, Fresno’s first Event in their life is an attack on a settlement near the Hell on Wheels compound, because Hellmouth is stubborn and has not let go of the idea of crushing others for power, they try raiding said settlement but end up failing miserably. This is Fresno’s first skirmish as a “real” 80s, and they chicken out as they notice that this is a doomed effort. Riding backwards on the road is sort of like going upstream, as much as they try to escape, the NCR sniper has already spotted them, and is aiming to kill. In my mind, it hits their motorcycle and leads to their arrest and being shipped off to prison, but like going upstream, they don’t escape the bullet meant for their head even if it arrives 8 years later. Prison is also where I think all the performance for Hellmouth’s approval and survival kind of becomes welded on to them because. Prison. It’s a grave for a that child they were. They still do become a “””man””” but it’s still a massively painful procedure

“…Their name is Fresno Cienfuegos— they’d be Lázaro Cienfuegos, seventh of his name, if they succeeded. All notable for being awarded a bullet to the brain before the age of 25— and their crimes are far too many to mention.”

Fresno’s trial! Or, sentencing really. I think Hellmouth would be the sort to ransom love and acceptance for violence, which. No wonder they are so repulsed by love and affection, to them it’s still being bait. Lázaro is the name of Hell on Wheels’ founder’s husband (tempted to call her Lilith or something) that died in an attempt to broker peace almost 200 years ago, I like the idea of that getting distorted through the years and turned into the first warrior that died, and keeps coming back. Lazarus risen over and over and over but they never learn their lesson and all doomed to die the same way, also the idea of a “seventh son”, the pronoun change is intentional. Also, power in a name. Hellmouth took his name by force and went back in the cycle but Fresno is disconnected from the start and can choose. Their crimes are too many too mention both against the 80s, the NCR and themselves. They live with a. Lot of guilt.

”Following the advice of one of the wiser members of their chapter, the second they enter the prison they test their courage against the other damned souls. The endeavor is rewarded with two years suffocating in a four by two room and snickering glances and mockery behind their back for the next six.”

I think a theme with Fresno is that they genuinely do not have any guidance or advice that would be genuinely useful to them and have very little experience socializing and approaching people and they try to imitate what the people they think are right do, with it usually blowing up in their face about it. Whatever they did was pretty stupid and it didn’t work out like it seemed. I think it kinda rides with the idea of Fresno riding backwards on fate but being pushed forwards anyway, since they also try to escape the Legion and it fails horrifically, I think there’s a theme of trying to continue a harmful cycle and then being locked out or forced into it but my brain don’t work that good.

“They sit on opposite sides of the campfire, Vulpes is used to silence and scrutiny, and Fresno cannot stand either of those. It doesn’t surprise him that they speak just to fill the air, “I think it rained that day. The day I got shot, I mean. I could feel it on my face.” It hasn’t rained in the Mojave for decades, and it will not rain as long as Fresno walks the earth. The courier is a liar of the worst kind, the ones that hide behind shields of glass hoping the other party won’t look through them. They think they are too strong to cry. He wants to prove them wrong.”

<- deranged. I like the idea of rain being a denial of tears, they were crying in the grave due to Everything but they have Problems and do not want to accept the idea that they are “weak” enough to cry, so it’s rain instead. It’s kinda hammered in that its such a transparent lie that it won’t rain as long as they’re alive, just to prove that they are sooo wrong. Also I have the idea of Vulpes also being in that sort of denial, I have conceptualized an idea of him escaping a collapsed Legion and feeling rain on his skin while the sun beats down on him. Not so different after all

hellmouth is emilio and i know the family starts with lázaro and his wife, the irony being that lázaro does not rise from the dead and his wife takes the grief [with red hair being sort of like, that sorta Mark] but i was thinking if the first baby born in that cycle of grief was emilio, and as the 80s became more established and feared their names turned to titles like wormwood or maybe shit like mephistopheles or something. wormwood is emilio's mother, maybe calls him that as a desire to Go Back and start again but. he kills her before anyone can change. he grabs a title, and continues the cycle

Fresno.... Fresno was always an outlier because they were named on a whim but i was thinking maybe hellmouth really did name them on a whim too and maybe it was too late to have any other heirs and he just. hates them. casts them out. but then they're not entirely bound by their name and family anymore.

am i like undercutting their character by essentially kind of shaving the spikes off them and is it reminiscent of like “tamed” women stories or like, is it fine. I mean the answer can literally be “they choose to present more femininely and change some aspects of themself but they ultimately aren’t helpless or something” which is what i’m gonna do but what anxiety does to an mf

in some kind of like. modern. but kinda falloutverse. freshly Problems budded 20 something fresno:

fresno traumatized and trying to prove their toughness and masculinity to hell on wheels ever since they were like old enough to do so and knowing that they were an outsider to hellmouth's hegemony of self destructive masculinity and maybe chose like you know the most outwardly tough looking things they could conceive at like. 14. 16 like leather jackets heavy metal and smoking and drinking and then they have that fun little stunt in prison where they Literally cannot do anything but be tough and opportunistic and petty or else people WILL eat them alive and probably addiction getting Worse to cope but like. theyre still cool theyre still tough they can live with it they can be as tough as everyone else

and then they go outside and you know theyre alone. mostly alone. depends if hell on wheels can look at them again and they get courageous enough to wear a dress like in those movies they saw when they were a kid. and they love it! but its not tough and its feminine and theyre too ugly to be a woman and too soft for a man and they dont want to be either but also they want to be both so they compromise and kind of cant just be feminine without something to balance it out and just become a whole Thing. they need to be curvy but they cant be bulky and too buff but they still have to show some Bite and now theyre just pathetic and uncharismatic and still stuck in survival but still want to be liked but not in the vulnerable way because people WILL eat them alive if they do and they're not anyones first choice of anything really but its fine.