the banished

Is that the type of bullshit you vomit back in your timeline, Dad?

Sounds sad, but it's funny when a lockdown in a castle sounds like the old times with a fairytale twist.

Yeah, it's not like we're sharing a cramped bedroom with a family of cockroaches we decided to give an elaborate backstory for. Doesn't sound relatable at all.

I wouldn't put it past her; she's a bitch. I'm all for some graceful chaos, but she's a lotta-bit-much.

Understatement on both counts. She makes what happened to the timelines seem like vacation.

Just trying to call my dad or uncle...or Marina. I guess, Bellora cell phone-proofed the evil goddess lair.

Forgive me for staying out of the current issues, but there's not much I can do other than lend an ear.

Is lending an ear your chance listening to everyone bitch about their feelings regarding the whole dynamic shift in the house? Yeah, I'll pass.

We lost Marina. Well, I should've known it's been too quiet around here. Kidding. Kind of.

You definitely did, and who knows– maybe you'll see a little bit of both coming out sooner or later. I guess it's a good thing you aren't his son. My father isn't a bad dad– he's only done things so far because he doesn't know better and has a massive learning curve, but it had to be nipped in the bud before my sister decided to stab him over the stunts that he's been pulling. Uh, it's way more than a crush– take it from me, who's been a pining simp for most of my life over a goddess, I know it when I see it, but it's weirdly a good thing. It's a choice that's hers. Imagine you wake up and you have a kid that you didn't think you'd ever have, they're adults, and even though they can protect themselves, you didn't see them grow up to get to that point. It doesn't excuse everything he's done, but it makes sense that he would stumble a little. There's a lot of that in the family, the whole kettle calling the pot black.

Maybe, but it's a really good thing I'm not his son or I would've taken the many knives he always seems to carry around and jam it through my eye sockets. I know he raised you and your sister in a different timeline, however, Ram obviously now sees he's not the father you grew up with. He probably didn't even meet your mother the same way. We're a step up from a crush and moved to full-blown love phase now? Shit, you're making my day better and better. Honestly, I might know a little about pining myself, if what I'm comprehending is pining. You realize my dad here went through the same thing when Blair and I arrived, right? Don't think he took it to Ram's extremes like beating the shit out of his kid's significant other. The family's stubborn and set in their ways.

You could say it's a form of bad luck coincidence as it is a happy accident. I've never personally been to the place one of my fathers grew up in, but I'm so looking forward watching him descend to the deepest pit in Hell and never really bother us again.

Now, to be a little bit of a downer myself, but my life is a constant string of bad luck; it's all about how you spin it, which in this case is very much a happy accident. You should go, I heard Hell is nice this time of year.

Believe me, I bring down the energy of any room I walk into according to some people. We'll say it's a happy accident. I could always use a tagalong for my vacation in Hell if you're willing to join.

Now that's the level of petty that you could have gotten from either of your fathers. I do enjoy being the favorite, but there are certain things a son shouldn't have to do, and one of them is humiliate his father. Regardless of whether it was deserved or not. However, my scolding will be far better than whatever Bea would have up her sleeves if our dad went any further. Went after Sterling and tried to kill him, all in the name of protecting his daughter.

I like to believe I inherited equal parts dream witch and Prince pettiness, it just doesn't come out very often. This could make me a really bad son, but if I had a father like Ramiel which I'd rather stick a thousand needles in my eyes, I would have no problem humiliating my dads. Oh, Bea harbors a little crush, you're making my day so much better. Your dad really is a fucking idiot, isn't he? Your sister's a grown assassin and he literally decided to look through the 'she's a reckless in love teenager' lens. Kettle calling the pot black, I know.

I'm very aware of how much he loves talking about people that irritate him; that's a shared trait between this Ramiel and mine, but not wanting to kill him sounds a lot like good terms to me. While I love the enthusiasm, perhaps you shouldn't be in the room with me, Uncle Cael. I don't need to humiliate my father any more than I no doubt will with what I have to say to him, but how close you are to the door to hear is up to you.

Personally, I like knowing I occupy a little space in his mind and remind him that he's not getting rid of me. This is why you're my favorite nephew. You see, why worry about humiliating your father when it's exactly what he deserved? Small dose of his own medicine and for me to have a chance kicking his ass off of that high horse of his? Let me guess, though, Beatrice asked you to scold him after he, what, went after Sterling? That's Ramiel coded.

Ah, you've met Sterling, then– should have known that you would get along with him given your history with my father. Well, buckle up for more good news in your eyes– I'm about to go scold my father at my sister's request.

Convenient your dad's a damn blabbermouth and isn't quiet about his vendettas. I don't want to kill him anymore, that's what I consider good terms. Ah, shit, you're about to lay the fuck into him, aren't you? Can I be there? Me being in the room might make your reprimanding worse, I'll take eavesdropping on the opposite side of the door.

Now there's a smile I haven't seen since I came to this timeline. Gotta say, I missed seeing it.

Well, I had nothing to smile about since I showed up here, but thanks to a certain big bad vampire's kid and his new standing rivalry with your pops, I'm peachy.

Hilarious because I wasn't doing it to spite him in the first place. I didn't even know that he and Beatrice were related until he came after me. Unfortunately, that will probably be a cold day in Hell before Ramiel kicks the bucket.

You could say it's a form of bad luck coincidence as it is a happy accident. I've never personally been to the place one of my fathers grew up in, but I'm so looking forward watching him descend to the deepest pit in Hell and never really bother us again.

He's such an idiot, and I'm over here literally not even thinking about him. I don't blame you for escaping Ramsie's non-stop motor-mouth– seriously, he doesn't have an off switch.

You know, he could sleep a wink without seeing your face if you weren't screwing his daughter. Tell me about it, the only off switch he will ever have is when somebody flips it to dead.

I'm touched that Rammy boy talks about me in his home life.

He hasn't shut up since the party and I'm suffering in a house with him under lock and key. Hence why I ventured out.