you can’t kill me in a way that matters

Hetalia World ☆ Stars - Illustration 7 Original

alfred taught himself russian in the 1840s, trying to impress Big Empire Ivan bc he’s a bisexual disaster that’s been crushing on him for centuries, but he didn’t get a chance to flex his fluency until ww2. unfortunately for him, ivan just assumed he’d learned it recently for practical reasons lol

i imagine by then he’s too embarrassed to admit that he learned it a century ago for gay purposes, and ivan doesn’t find out the truth until decades into their relationship

OH M

OH MY GOD YOUR MIND???? OH MY GOD??? FCU K IM IMAGINING IT IM??? THJS IS SO GOOD OH MT GIDOH MY GOD

it would hurt Alfred so bad ngl like,,, like

God can u imagine post Yalta they’re just out for drinks and trying to chill out and Alfred really wants to!! Bc he misses what they used to be!!! And he’s a little drunk. Not WASTED. But fuzzy!!

Feeling fuzzy and sentimental and!!!

Leans into Ivan a little bit and genuinely. After like. Hundreds of years of being nervous and shy about it. Speaking to human native speakers, trying to learn dialects, slang, inflections, etc… he’s going to do it.

Alfred’s heart is fluttering up to his throat and he’s warm all over and after they toast to something together, Alfred can’t even remember to what to be honest — Ivan probably said some bullshit just to drink another round.

Ivan’s really tired. Really, really tired. Worn.

But they’re sitting in a booth together nonetheless. Likely because Alfred brought them there.

But they set their glasses down, and with the heat of liquor in his chest, Alfred finally speaks to him in Russian, eye contact, barely able to keep his smile in check. Dimples and sparkles in his eyes. Despite everything, it could be like old times. He’s been so lonely. Still discovering himself, but Ivan’s been consistent. He wants him. He needs him so badly. He misses him.

Alfred reaches for Ivan, but instead Ivan rolls his eyes and gets to his feet.

Because he feels betrayed, in a way. Of course Alfred was learning Russian. Especially after today, he just had to share this new skill he’s mastered for what, exactly?

Ivan’s not even looking at him, instead reaching into his pocket for his smokes and a lighter.

“You are already trying to put yourself in more places where you don’t belong, this time with a serpent’s tongue and hands you cannot keep to your person because you just cannot help yourself — can you?”

And he leaves Alfred. Alone at the booth, of a shitty bar with half busted out windows and everyone else is kind of blackout drunk.

Except for Alfred. Who is sober enough to feel mortified, confused, angry, sad?? But the drinks make it worse. Amplified. His chest is crumbling inward and he doesn’t know what to even make of the interaction other than for his eyes to start watering, the racing of his thoughts, and the inability to keep still. He keeps hearing the bite in Ivan’s voice, and the heavy sound of his boots as he left him.

Yet, Alfred is quiet — because who is he even able to talk to about this?

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hetalia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia) Characters: America (Hetalia), Russia (Hetalia) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Human/Monster Romance, Smut, Human Alfred, Monster Ivan, Shapeshifting, Cunnilingus, Penis in Vagina Sex, Multiple Orgasms, America is Named Alfred F. Jones (Hetalia), Top America/Bottom Russia (Hetalia), Based on Roleplay, also ivan eats people. not specifically in this fic but that’s his diet Summary:

a self-indulgent oneshot based on rp with a friend