toji fushiguro as... your designated driver!?!
cw: crack ⸝⸝ fluff ⸝⸝ reader is slightly* intoxicated
contrary to popular belief, toji fushiguro is not a drinker. his heavenly restriction makes it impossible to feel the effects of alcohol, so he avoids it. it's not like he wanted to kill his liver slowly, all risk and no reward.
that, unfortunately, always left him with the one dreaded job: driving his friends, some of whom loved to drink, home. it could be 7pm or 4am, either way, he would find himself dropping everyone home, waiting until they got inside before speeding off.
this time, it was 1am, and you really, really wanted taco bell.
"or maybe arby's," you licked your lips at the thought. "arby's sounds good."
"no the fuck it does not," he rolled his eyes. "what the hell did you drink?”
"who cares?!? i'm sooo hungry," you groaned and dragged your hands down your face. as if it had heard you, you stomach growled in response.
"so hungry, you could eat at arby's?" he chuckled. "you must be really hungry, huh?”
you frowned at him. "shut up."
"walk home." he countered.
"nuh uh, you wouldn't let me."
toji stayed silent at this. you got him there. see, toji claims he does all this because it's too much work to schedule a funeral, but you knew better than that. he cared about your safety and well-being, which was why he always found himself driving you to get food at ungodly hours just to make sure your stomach was filled.
"ooo! we should play some music." you turned the dial on the radio a few times. all sorts of artist layed as you flipped through the stations: jay z, taylor swift, and even morgan wallen. it wasn't the vibe you were going for at all. after a bit, you settled on an old katy perry song. you were in the mood for a good throwback to sing along to.
“legendary lauverss,” you sang along, completely off key. toji winced, but didn’t say anything “we could be le-gen-da-rye!!!!” your voice broke on that last note.
toji choked back a laugh. he tried to play it off like he was coughing, though he was anything but subtle. you didn’t fail to see his scarred smile peeking out behind his fist.
you raised a brow. “something funny?”
he shook his head, eyes glued to the road in front of him. “no, no, nothing at all.” you side eyed him, but his eyes never left the road. you sulked as he entered the drive thru.
he gestured towards the menu screen. “go ahead and order.”
“HAAIIIII!!!!” you gushed loudly. toji groaned softly and the worker snorted into the mic.
“hello there, welcome to taco bell. what can i get started for you?” the voice crackled back.
“uhhhhh….” what was your order again? your mind had gotten completely blank. for some reason, you couldn’t remember the order you’d had for years now. you shot a nervous look at toji who frowned and turned back to the screen.
“uh, can we please get a grilled cheese chicken burrito with nacho fries and a baja blast?” he rubbed his neck awkwardly before facing you. “is that it?”
you nodded your head, half shocked and half in awe that he remembered your order. you switched up the places you went to when you got the munchies: ranging from wingstop, mcdonald’s, chipotle, and so many others depending on what time it was. how the hell did he remember your taco bell order when you’ve gone maybe twice together?
lost in thought, you didn’t even realize when he’d pulled up to the window and paid for the meal. you gaped at him as he plopped the bag in your lap without a word and pulled out of the drive thru.
“did you just…” you trailed off, still in disbelief. he wasn’t your boyfriend—he was far from it—nor did he ever pay for your food and vice versa. where in the world was this coming from?
“you were taking too long, we were holding up the line,” he muttered, averting his eyes.
“toji. i might be drunk out of my mind, but i do know that there was no one, not a single sooullll, behind us.”
he sighed. you narrowed his eyes at him. you weren’t letting this go and he knew it.
“awww toj, you don’t have a crush on me do you?” you teased, voice all airy and light.,“cuz that would be really, reeeaaallyyy bad. like awful," your voice got all serious, "like i’d have to disintegrate or flee the country.”
he furrowed his brows. “why?”
ignoring him, you shoved a fry into your mouth and practically moaned at the salty taste. it was soooo goood and warm and crunchy and ughhhh your tummy wasn’t very happy with you right now, so how could you not show it some love with some yummy food? you continued to stuff your face with your taco bell while toji gave you a wary look. the asshole was jealous? he could be normal and ask for a bite.
“slow down. it’s not going anywhere.” he laughed. you slowly craned your head to him and he froze.
“fwutdudugustshay?” you asked angrily, food still full in your mouth. “fwoops,” you swallowed the food and took a sip of your baja blast. you patted your chest and belched really loudly. toji grimaced at the sound and looked away, suddenly interested in whatever was out the window, even though it was pitch black outside.
“wait—i feel like i was saying something important…hm…” you wracked your brain for what you were saying. he was driving you home, you were hungry, you drove to taco ball, you forgot your taco bell order, he somehow remembered it, weird… anyways, he paid for the food…wait he paid for your food?!?
“toji fishyguro, how dare you pay for my food?!?” you slurred. his green eyes widened at you when he realized he had to do this all over again.
“i wanted to be nice, jeez. is that such a crime?” he was a little annoyed now. you were supposed to be a funny drunk, not a mean one.
“is it a criimmeeeeeeeee dunnuhduh,” you sang. “oh my gosh, we like have to play that. absolute banger.” you grabbed the aux and plugged it into your phone. using your fist has a pretended microphone, you sang all six minutes and twenty seconds of the song, completely out-of-tune. or at least you tried to, he cut you off after the fourth minute. you pouted when he lowered the volume.
“you never fail to amaze me.” he said, but the sarcasm in his voice failed to register.
“awwwww, tanks!” you giggled. you poked his cheek and he glared at you. “you’re soooo cute toe.”
“ok fu-she-gu-ho.” you snorted at your very funny and hilarious joke, but it died down as you realized he found it far from funny.
“o-kay, my frickin bad!? i thought you liked hanging out with me, i’m sorry i’m so annoyinggg gosh!”
to toji’s absolute horror, you opened the car door and marched out onto the sidewalk, leaving your smelly taco bell behind. he jumped out from the car and chased after you.
you heard him calling your name of course, but you had other things occupying your attention. it was a full moon. the sky was clear tonight as the stars danced around it, shining down on you. you gasped and pointed at it. “look toji, sooo prettyyy!”
he finally caught up to you, though not without a slightly fearful look in his eyes. the sight was beautiful, but his eyes didn’t just follow your finger. instead, they fixated back on you. your hair was slightly messy, eyes as wide as saucers, and there were crumbs from your burrito still on your cheek along with a little grease, but you were still the most beautiful thing in sight.
“yeah, very pretty.” he replied, eyes never leaving you. you glanced at him and found him already staring back at you. your stomach churned, and you had a feeling that it wasn't from your $4 burrito. he couldn’t be talking about… could he?
no no no... it was the alcohol in your system messing with your head. how could he mean that when you looked and sounded crazy? if you were him, you woulda kicked you out ages ago. you shook off the weird feeling and looked back up at the sky.
the two of you stargazed until you there were no more stars in sight. you ignored the electric shock you got every time his arm brushed against yours to point out different constellations to ask you about. you decided it was liquor that made you feel all fuzzy inside when he was close. it had to be.
i just made some BULLLLSHITTTTT. * i accidentally made reader drunker than i intended oops plz perceive them as drunk out of their mind, they are not that annoying i promise!!!