You're Cute

it’s always big titty goth gf and never big titty goth bf. what gives.

hi everyone i just want to say please don’t feel scared or say sorry for tagging this as fandom stuff. unless you’re tagging this as kylo ren. please feel bad about that and think twice before reblogging this.

five year olds having a discussion is literally that philosophers painting

You know that if scientists discovered we live in a simulation, people would just meme about it.

i have a “why am i like this” moment at least five times a day

“i grew out of my dinosaur phase” shut up. your dinosaur phase isn’t something you “grow out” of. real adults know that dinosaurs are cool as fuck.

My roommate from Beijing is fascinated by English expletives and is asking about the most offensive terms we have. I tried to explain the difference between insulting swear words and offensive slurs, and he was delighted by ‘asshole’, ‘motherfucker’, ‘bastard’, ‘dickhead’, and ‘shithead’. Explaining slurs without using any proved to be difficult, as he just tried to insult me by saying, “You are a big slur!”

I told him that he can combine different words to make new ones and he just pointed at me and said, “Fuck you, you son of shit-sucker! You loser!” 

“In China, we say ‘fuck your mom, fuck your ancestors, fuck your parents, fuck everyone… but we don’t say ‘fuck yourself’. I love that! In America, you can fuck anyone, even yourself!”

welcome to the land of opportunity, my brother. Please, sit down. Relax. Go fuck yourself.

I had that EXACT Doodle Bear! I actually thrifted it in college back in the late 2000s. I gave it to my young niece.

y e s.

*cancels plans* sorry i can’t come i’m ugly

“You was ugly when we made the plans. Bring ya troll ass on.”

^ true friendship.

My students consume these everyday.

This is so horrible and unnerving I’ll take 10

Well I can’t not reblog this