bymjs

18. Experimental Stepping Stones There are times when I have nothing to say to the world.  This is one of them.

17. Welcome Independence.  Freedom.  Fame.  Glory.  Happiness.  Come on in, we have success and equality on tap.  Oh, you can’t find the door?  Sorry, we’re not sure what’s going on.....wait, did we mention how great we are? Sure, sunshine and surf is a temping picture..... but with so many strings attached it really does make snow and maple syrup seem that much more appealing..... 

16. Rifts and Reflections Things rarely go as planned in my world.  What this might say about my ability to make plans is certainly a point worth considering, but something that hardly seems worth my pausing on when there are so many other things to fill the waking hours with.....

15. The Spinning Game Round and round and round we go... where we stop... no one knows.....

Trying to continue to move ahead. Trying to just keep my head down and my mouth closed. Another day is another day is another day. One day my view won’t be from the floor. One day I shall emerge from the tunnel triumphant.

13. Glitter Goo A shift in scheduling would create a gap just big enough to fit in a momentary break..... a pause that quickly disappeared, allowing the remaining time to quickly fill with raisins, kibbles, giggles, and a constant ringing in my ears.  Pie and Ham would fail to be ideal, but as the sum is often more than it’s individual parts, somehow the shifted weekend would pull thru as a few days of smiles. 

12. Prelude to a Diet With Mr.Sun reducing much of my home snow collection back to water, it was surprising shocking to find myself defeated by muskrat loop once again.  Sure, I was warned ahead of time (words which clearly I opted to ignore), but how was I to know that 7km of gravel can separate the ability to sit outside and BBQ with the ability to break the crust and sink down to your junk in soft powdery snow. One again there would be pushing and grinding to hit the first bailout point, where rewards would be distributed in the form of mud, water, slush, and kilometers of sloppy effort to return to start. Another week, another story.  Another 7 days towards some things, and away from others...

11. *Sigh* A week of epic fog would dance with snowflakes making for epic sensory deprivation experiments and spectacular hoar frost.  Due to fumbling fingers and a plethora of other excuses, all photographs of said events have been rendered unsuitable for public consumption. High highs and low lows would certainly be the summarizing theme for the past seven days, and as the week came to a close I found myself feeling an awful lot like my fuzzy little sidekick looked.

10. Canadian Waterfall It’s been along time good friend, welcome back.  And with his return, the world turned to gross and slop.  Powder became liquid, and yet when plunged back into darkness, it reformed as ice.  Fangs of mother nature bite into out hopes of spring, as seasonality schizophrenia reeks havoc with our surroundings and emotional well being.  Luckily we all got to compensate with an hour less sleep.....

9. Defective Dreams A goal is a goal, even if it makes no logical sense.  To drive forwards toward it regardless of obstacle is an impressive feat, but not as impressive as being able to somehow convince others to join in with you.  With a society trapped in front of the screen, hell bent on discovering themselves thru the supposedly motivational words of others, I find myself more and more prone to leaving the electronic world behind and searching for my answers and experiences in action and activity.  Spending time a few steps outside of your comfort zone will teach you more about yourself than any introspective podcast binge or netflix special. Then again, what do I know?  Who the hell wants to listen to a guy shit talking technology while posting on social media.....

8. Riding Thru Life Wind and snow...wind and snow...wind and snow..... Up and down...up and down...up and down..... Ride and push...ride and push...ride and push..... Very few things worth doing are easy.  If you’re committed.....if you’re in it for the long haul.....if you want to succeed.....own up to the lows and aim for the highs.  Earn your turns, and grit thru the tough in order to reach the smiles.

7. School Buses and Trains Four weeks of consecutive color photography clearly shows that something is significantly off in my world, and the physical manifestation of this would destroy my plans for icy suffering, instead leaving me indoors, warm, and exhausted. On the plus side, there was paint and a picnic, and next week is a new opportunity to once again try to take back my life.

6. Blue Lit Special Seven more days have passed and seven more nights.  Seven more opportunities to start the day differently, or to end it on an alternate note.  And yet seven more times the pattern continues, the frustrations grow, and the sun seems to set on the same old same old.

5. Framed Juxtaposition Sometimes what the world needs is just a splash of color. 

It's fascinatingly bizarre how one can spend over two years fantasizing about a moment of freedom, and yet when the time finally comes for that dream to be granted, you find yourself stuck with the realization that you've forgotten how to socially function as an adult.   Your mind clouds over and the swirling white-out conditions you find yourself driving in somehow match perfectly with the state of your mental flexibility.   And then when you are forced back to the sleep deprived lack of freedom you have been so desperate to escape, you can't help but to seem to see anything but the glowing beauty that the world lays out before you every day.   Human psychology is a MoFo.

For the first time in months.....maybe longer..... I found myself downloading multiple photos from my camera that I was actually proud of.  All were flawed (as is my style) and yet sorta fantastic.  I found myself smiling as I flipped between fatbike antics, sundogs, and babies... and yet at the end of the day, there was just one photo that captured my heart and emotion in that magical way that makes one truly excited and proud to be a dad.

You can drive down the same road 1000 times, and never notice a thing about it.  And then one day find yourself hypervigelant about trying to focus on every minut detail.   Perhaps its cranial damage as an amusing result of ragdolling down a hill to the soundtrack of tiny hysterics.  Perhaps it's insanity after a day of chasing the white rabbit thru a land of sensory searing equilibrium.  Perhaps it's just another one of those things that you just never notice.....until the day that you do.