masked dancers (⊙_⊙)

Sollux and Karkat have supposedly been friends since forever. It's implied that they've known each other for a long time, but whether that's the case or not, it doesn't take away from the fact that they're definitely close friends — in every sense of the word. But to understand this better, we first need to understand the characters individually and how they manage to be best friends while fighting every five seconds — and then I'll delve into their relationship itself.

Starting from Karkat: he is an insecure, short-tempered boy who loves romantic stories and who often fantasizes about having a relationship. However, the most important thing to keep in mind about Karkat is that he is practically a teenager (puberty can develop from 10-11 to 14 years old, and he is 13) and as such he has the so-called HORMONE SHOOT in his body.

Karkat is proposed as the complete opposite of John - already just the example of their Aspects: Blood and Breath, which are opposite in the wheel of Aspects - and therefore the way in which they both approach adolescence or, even more specifically, sexuality.

John is almost the stereotype of the innocent child: practically always unaware of what is around him, or somewhat careless, remaining as a pillar of purity and lightness - highlighted by his Class appearance: Heir of the Breath, which makes him the most childish, light and free of all others. All this also applies to sexuality. His first approach is his non-flirts with Dave(1), which are clearly not serious and very superficial; making more jokes about how much "they're gay and they love each other", but in a very clearly platonic and casual way. On top of that, before meeting Karkat, John never really seems to think about things more impure than just pure romance which he also demonstrates to Rose and, to a small extent, Jade, similar to how a child would bring home a girlfriend than how a pre/adolescent thinks of a person to whom they are sexually/romantically attracted. One might comment that he behaves this way because he is not really romantically attracted to his friends, but one sees him behaving the same way with Vriska, with whom he is explicitly in love — the only difference is that he becomes a simp for her.

In the end John is practically "forced" to think about his sexuality - in a less innocent way, I mean - after his constant texts with Karkat, who is not innocent by any means.

1: John and Dave’s relationships contrasts with Karkat and Sollux’s one - important for later

Finally, after talking about John, let's talk about his opposite, Karkat. What makes him recognizable to kids/teenagers who read Homestuck is also his approach to puberty, which isn't as innocent and carefree as John's, but more chaotic and horny, like that of normal people (ironic that he's not even human).

It's not that it's immediately clear that Karkat speaks more with his dick than with his mouth, but he certainly mentions dicks very often in his monologues, always in a way that doesn't appear Horny™ but actually is quite Horny.

Speaking of John, Karkat shamelessly flirts with him AND his sister. John doesn't understand it at first for the simple fact that Karkat was attempting to pitch flirt with him, a concept that isn't really present in human society, but once he recognized the patterns, he immediately told Karkat that he isn’t gay and Karkat panicked, trying to erase everything he said before.

It's not that he flirts on purpose, his sexuality is intrinsic to everything he does and says — like a normal teenager — and so it's reflected in his dialogue whether he does it on purpose or not — and it doesn't help that he's so devoid of shame.

Now, Karkat is HORNY even on a fetish level, in fact he is one of the characters who shows his sexuality the most (along with Damara, Cronus, all those horny-bitches), to the point that it is literally no longer a secret. It is therefore not strange that he has a kink for exhibitionism, perhaps another factor that contributes to his openly, even unconsciously, flirting. Perhaps his is not even a real fetish, but rather an absence of social education, given by his physical isolation from the rest of the world - to protect himself and not let others discover the color of his blood. In the sense: it is possible that Karkat, famous for reading "romantic comedies" without shame, is not really aware of social norms and therefore has never been taught to Keep It in His Pants™, living his sexuality like hell, even at the expense of important situations — like warning John about the future AND NOT FLIRTING WITH HIM. Those who don't help are the people he talks to the most, first of all his best friend: Sollux Captor.

But before talking about Sollux, a small mention about Karkat: it's true that Karkat always seems to hit on different people, a bit at random, but in reality there is a very specific pattern. He doesn't hit on everyone, much more with those who piss him off at a level higher than simple "annoyance"(2),(3). He is always irritated and takes it out on everyone, yes, but there are those who insist and persevere with him specifically - directly (Terezi, Sollux, partly Jade) or indirectly (John and Gamzee) -, which leads him to the end, until you give him a blow and make him fall in love. Contradictory, I realize, but Karkat's entire fanculized sexuality must be taken into account; which we discussed earlier.

2: This is why ships like Kanaya x Karkat, Nepeta x Karkat or Meenah x Karkat cannot work in my opinions. There is no anger, therefore there is no passion. Except for Nepeta's case, there isn't even any trouble between Karkat, Kanaya and Meenah. They are not couples destined to last (in my opinion!!!)

3: His anger could be a true transposition of his passion. Not in the sense that he gets angry because he loves, but he loves because he gets angry.

And in any case NONE OF THIS necessarily has to do with the pitch quadrant.

Now we can move on to Sollux!

As with Karkat and John, Sollux also has a "human counterpart". Not all trolls have this counterpart, obviously, but since John has a best friend, a best bro, then Karkat has it too. For John, Dave is his best friend with whom he talks all the time, for Karkat it is Sollux, only that Sollux IS NOT "the opposite of Dave", but rather "an alternative Dave".

As highlighted by the introduction of the two (Dave) (Sollux 1) (Sollux 2), both have many parallels between them. Both are the "cool guys" of their group, but Sollux is more of a "cool-wanna-be" at the very beginning of the story — then immediately taking the role just a few pages later, because Hussie and Coherence Of The Characters never married. In fact, the only opposite they demonstrate is the management of emotions: Dave is monotone, almost cold, but he talks a lot, almost too much; Sollux is emotional, extremely sensitive and sensitive (to quote Karkat and Terezi), but of few words. And these are the only substantial differences that lead the two characters into two completely opposite paths; starting first of all from the relationship with "their leader" - because both are their "right-hand men" of their respective leader.

I have already spoken extensively about John and Dave, and their very pure and saccharine homoromantic messages and comments, albeit platonic ironically disguised as "romantic"; what's missing is the homoerotic flirtation poorly disguised as "platonic jokes" between Sollux and Karkat, but first I should explain Sollux in general a little.

Sollux, unlike Karkat and what it might seem, is not particularly horny, nor does he openly display his sexuality except when talking to Karkat; rather showing his weak and sensitive side, less grumpy and volatile, with those few with whom he interacts with more than a few messages - as with Aradia, for whom he has an absolute weakness, and Feferi, who caught him in a vulnerable state after the death of Aradia (I specify that he also shows it to Karkat, except that there is also the dick involved with him). Rather, it's The Hoes™ who rally around Sollux — giving him the title of "guy who fucked literally every character in the comic."

However, we must ask ourselves, who is Sollux talking to? Because despite his being a "Double Dreamer" - therefore finding himself on both Prospit and Derse -, in fact he speaks openly and exposes himself only to a very small group of people(4): only two, in reality: Aradia and Karkat, and Feferi if you really want to be generous.

4: It is no coincidence that he is reincarnated in his Dream Self of DERSE, while his Dream Self of PROSPIT is left to die; both after the destruction of the planet (he becomes a ghost), and with Lord English (in which he finally dies).

The peculiarity of Sollux is that he gives a nickname to everyone, and this nickname is made up of two letters of the person's name. However, this actually seems to be more of a fanonical rather than canonical conception, as the only nicknames that Sollux uses are (and are for):

AA, Aradia

KK, Karkat

TZ, Terezi

Priince, Eridan (to make fun of him) 

FF, Feferi

For the rest of the people, either repeat the abbreviation of their chathandles (i.e. Nepeta, AC) or use their full names. Therefore, canonically speaking, Sollux only uses specific nicknames with those he is emotionally close to; with the rest either use their real names or use a nickname that these people have given themselves; and he does it with Terezi too. Yes, Sollux calls her “TZ”, but he also calls her “GC”, the chathandle abbreviation of Terezi, who he is friends with casually, without speaking much to each other on the basis. You might think that this “no nicknames - chathandle as 'nickname' - personal nickname” thing is not very significant because of Aradia, whose abbreviated chathandle is “AA”, exactly as Sollux calls her; therefore the “nickname hierarchy” simply does not exist.

And that is COMPLETELY wrong. Her name is Aradia, she already has a double A in her original name; the fact that her chathandle is also AA, making her nickname a quadruple — or double double — A.

Basically, what I mean is that Sollux has a sort of “hierarchy of importance” based solely on the amount of doubles in people's names. Demonstration:

Aradia, AA (nickname), AA (chathandle) - double double A - Sollux choose her and not Karkat (I will talk better about it later);

Karkat, KK (nickname), CG (chathandle) - doppia K - flirts a lot with each others, are close friends in general;

Feferi, FF (soprannome), CC (chathandle) - double F and double C, but separated(5).

Terezi, TZ (soprannome), GC (chathandle) - no doubles, she’s a friend;

Everyone else.

5: I'm not sure why he’s more attached to Karkat and not Feferi, rationally speaking, but it could be for a simple reason of time. That is, if he had had more time with Feferi, maybe she would have been “more important” than Karkat. Which I don't really believe much in, since 1. they were already friends, they could have been "be close" from the start, 2. I think that Sollux only used Feferi as comfort after Aradia's death/radical change; so just calling her "important in her life" is a bit of an exaggeration, but she's certainly more important than most of Sollux’s friends.

So why, in my very humble opinion, are Sollux and Karkat better than Sollux and Aradia? Simple: because the other person is also important; a relationship has at least two people, not one.

Aradia, at least in death, seems to care a lot about Sollux.

AA: s0llux i actually w0uld like it if you were happy TA: ok. thank you for 2ayiing 2o. AA: y0u seem sad and angry all the time AA: what d0es anger feel like AA: i f0rg0t TA: have you ever been angry? TA: ii dont remember you gettiing angry about anythiing. AA: maybe i never was AA: i feel like i was th0ugh AA: 0nce TA: why dont you a2k karkat, he2 way angriier than me. TA: for that matter why dont you get on HII2 ca2e about iit iin2tead of MIINE. [extract page 2085]

(Notice how Sollux cites (unnecessarily) Karkat even in this conversation with Aradia :3) 

SOLLUX: aradia, s0rry, i can't be a part 0f this anym0re, it's just making me feel dirty. ARADIA: i understand sollux SOLLUX: let's catch up again later, h0pefully when this is all 0ver. ARADIA: yeah :D

[extract page 6045]

This might seem like nothing, and I’m really going to start talking at a personal level here: I hate how cold and distant Aradia feels when interacting with Sollux on later acts.

It might seem like a cute/good thing: Aradia just letting Sollux go to do what he wishes to and all, but I personally didn't interpret it as such.

Sollux openly hates fucking SGURB/SBURB, he wants nothing to do with this game, like at all; that’s one of the reasons he leaves with Aradia in the first place (again, I’ll talk about it better later on). Though, after leaving the meteor, the next time we see Sollux he is, in some way, again involved with the game; all because Aradia is curious and wants to see how it will all end. I think it’s egotistical to put it at least. I’m not saying Aradia should have putted her wantings away for Fucking Sollux (no offence Sol), though she knows that Sollux doesn’t want anything to do with the game and that, now that he is blind, he is very dependent on other people — in fact, if it wasn’t for Feferi and Nepeta, Sollux would have never be able to leave Vriska’s ship.

Although it is implied that Sollux never complained about his involvement with all of that until the very end, when he decides to leave.

I think arasol can still work very well as friends, or, if I really want to stretch it, matesprits; but with all those communication problems, it’s very much impossible for me to see them as moirails, like other people most likely prefer — unless it’s a toxic moirallegiance, that would suit them good.  

Also, I won’t talk about Homestuck: Beyond Canon, because…

ARADIA: he is probably ok DAVEBOT: so youre telling me you dont even feel a little bad that you ditched him to be a weird death acolyte ARADIA: no i think he found my wiles both charming and irresistible

[extract HS:BC, page 283]

But, to be fair, HS:BC ruined everything, a lot, most characters and ships. It surely didn’t help to make me like aerosol more (like I liked it at the beginning), but whatever.

Basically, what I’m saying is that, personally, I prefer solkat over arasol because Karkat has emotional involvement in it:

SOLLUX: yeah, i think i'll hang behind here t0o, if that's 0k with you guys. KARKAT: WAIT, WHAT? KARKAT: NO COME ON, DON'T BE LIKE THAT SOLLUX: be like what? a ghost?? SOLLUX: i d0n't think i belong with the living anym0re. KARKAT: YOU'RE A *HALF* GHOST, ASSHOLE. KARKAT: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? HOW ARE YOU EVEN TAKING THIS IDIOTIC "HALF DEATH" SERIOUSLY IF YOU JUST GO HOG WILD AS A FUCKING WHOLE-GHOST, AND SAY STUPID SHIT LIKE, BLAH BLAH, I BELONG IN THE AFTERLIFE NOW LIKE A DUMBASS. SOLLUX: kk, SORRY. SOLLUX: i'm just d0ne with this crap, this insane adventure bullshit, it's nothing pers0nal. SOLLUX: i just want to spend time with aa and chill 0ut and catch up with some 0f our dead buddies, is that 0k? KARKAT: WHATEVER, FINE.

[extract page 4356]

I’m not sure how Aradia pre-SGURB/pre-death behaved with Sollux, most likely she was very close (emotionally speaking) to Sollux, so much that their relationship is later on described as “ambiguous”, and Ghost Aradia, as I said, shows it! Though I can’t get over the present, which is not great for them… Also (this is VERY personal) I find them more boring than solkat, too fluffy for me, sorry not sorry.

Anyhow, what's different with Karkat, then? Since I'm talking about him so much.

First of all: the "hatred" they throw at each other is non-serious and mutual. This means that if Karkat offends Sollux, Sollux offends Karkat and they don't take it personally, it's simply how they communicate (and flirt).

[extract page 3318 (not working lol)]

It’s simply nothing personal.

Also, if for whatever reason, they are not in the mood for that shit:

SOLLUX: what diid you want me two do get down on the floor and kii22 your faiinted corp2e on the lii2p two wake you up on a nonexii2tent pro2piit? KARKAT: LET'S NOT DO THIS, OK MAN? JUST THIS ONCE. I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY. SOLLUX: yeah ok fiine.

[extract page 2792]

(after this dialogue Sollux simply answers Karkat's questions, without annoying him)

In this case Sollux is the one who respects Karkat's boundaries, but it would be stupid to say that it wouldn't be the same if the roles were reversed.

Okay, so that explains why Karkat is a better choice than Aradia (MY OPINION) and I've talked a little — a lot — about the two of them together, but more specifically, why should Sollux and Karkat be together? After all, Sollux abandoned Karkat (page link again).

This bullshit remark blows my mind every single time it's brought up, so I'm going to analyze Sollux even more before moving on to the two of them together, so as to explain why Sollux chose to leave at the end of Act5Act2.

Imagine that one day — perhaps since birth — you’ve been “gifted” with the ability to tell who is going to die, by hearing their begging, suffering voices screaming in your brain, filled with horrific images. Not only that, you even hear the voices of all the people that are going to die altogether because of one game(6); a game that, you know, will also kill you twice, but not after blinding you, and will also make all your friends kill each other for no apparent reason.

6: “But the end of Alternia would have arrived regardless of the game, the game was ‘a hope’ to save the planet”; not actually. It’s very explicit that, despite the event that led to Alternia’s end, the game was the number 1 influence for that event to happen. So it’s still SGURB’s fault, basically.

So, after dealing with the death of all your kind, yourself included, after dealing with all your friends being killed brutally by other of your friends, after becoming blind and dying right after; when you’re reunited with your now alive close friend/girlfriend(?), not hearing any voices screaming in pain, with the choice of staying in the game that caused all of this or leaving for the better. What would you do?

Maybe it’s a little stretch to say it, but I don’t actually think Sollux’s choice was between “Aradia or Karkat”, but rather between “staying in the game that ruined you and all you knew or escaping it”. Of course Sollux did it for Aradia too, but she was secondary, like leaving Karkat was simply a consequence of his choice and not the choice itself.

Now I can talk about the two of them in more detail (finally).

As I said before, Karkat and Sollux are "the negative" of John and Dave, and of their relationship: where John and Dave's affection is platonic, ironic and cute, that of Karkat and Sollux is romantic/sexual, absolutely serious and they suck at pretending that it isn't, and "violent" in a certain sense.

But having said all this, which quadrant would they end up in if they got engaged? The answer might seem obvious: they flirt pitch, they are kismesis; many chatlogues suggest this:

[extract page 2027 - this page is all gay btw]

[extract page 2086]

Why aren't they kismesis then? referring to each other exclusively as “best friends” and nothing more?

Here the issue of an unshown past comes into play, a bit like for Aradia and Sollux.

It's likely/implied that they've been best friends for a long time, maybe since birth (kind of), but definitely since they were little — as I also mentioned at the beginning. In fact, one of the main tropes they seem to follow is the “friends to lovers” trope, where in their friendship they tease each other, they “argue” but without repercussions, nor without really meaning it — again, things I explained before. I assume that what changed in their relationship after puberty hit is the intentions they have when they "argue" like this. They don't necessarily want to fuck every time they talk to each other, that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying that their closeness, Karkat's being Horny™, teenage hormones have contributed to making their interactions more awkward — to put it simplistically — over time, which then became a habit rather than an intention every single time.

[extract page 2027]

SOLLUX: what diid you want me two do get down on the floor and kii22 your faiinted corp2e on the lii2p two wake you up on a nonexii2tent pro2piit? KARKAT: LET'S NOT DO THIS, OK MAN? JUST THIS ONCE. I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY. SOLLUX: yeah ok fiine.

[extract 2792 (again)]

(Yes, I’ve already used this, but it explains well how it’s a habit for them).

The attraction is there, the desire is there, but what blocks them is embarrassment. I don't think I need to explain why they might feel reluctant to openly confess their feelings and abandon their long friendship for a pitch relationship; especially because like kismesis, these two suck… like, a lot.

:O but why do they suck like kismesis? Don't they have pitch feelings for each other?

Complicated to explain (I’ll try anyway).

I think that they are seriously convinced that they have pitched feelings (I think), but this is actually the result of a natural evolution of their previous relationship - in which they were already pushing and making fun of each other - combined with sexual desires, rather what a real pitch feelings. But I'll get back to this shortly; for now: why would Sollux and Karkat suck as kismesis?

In the comic we had some examples of kismessitude.

[extracts pages 2459, 2381, 6797]

(These are the first ones that came to mind, I don't remember if there are others lol)

Leaving aside Eridan and Vriska — since their past together is only hinted at and not shown — the major examples are Vriska and Tavros and Terezi and Gamzee. What these two couples have in common is brutality: Vriska traumatizes Tavros again and again, first by making him paraplegic, then by dragging him around like a slave, then by showing him her bloody, nearly dead corpse and ordering him to kill her, etc. Gamzee beats Terezi to death until she dies. I'd say it's pretty clear.

In reality, even without giving examples one can still reach this conclusion: Alternia is a violent and cruel place, so much so that not only is one of their quadrants based on hatred and cruelty, but there is also a need for a another quadrant to get between the two to prevent them from killing each other.

ROSE: Think, Lalonde. Think! ROSE: What did Kanaya tell you about this quadrant? ROSE: Does it really involve such gruesome fisticuffs? ROSE: I... ROSE: I can't remember! ROSE: I was probably drunk during that particular lesson. ROSE: What am I saying. ROSE: I was drunk for all the lessons! ROSE: Ugh, what a disgrace. ROSE: I am the actual worst auspistice who ever lived. ROSE: THE ACTUAL WORST!!! [estratto pag. 6811]

Normal kismesis are extremely violent; if they don't kill themselves, they are always on the verge of doing so. There is no understanding, there is no goodness, there is certainly no THIS:

You are relieved to find Sollux is not DEAD. He is merely KO'D. You don't think you could handle it if this was ROUND TWO of watching your good bro get killed.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] CG: BRO ARE YOU OK. CG: HEY CG: OH GOD CG: WHAT HAVE I DONE. CG: SOLLUX? CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S JUST HONEY. CG: PLEASE JUST BE HONEY PLEASE JUST BE HONEY PLEASE JUST BE HONEY CG: HAHA, OK, MAKE-BELIEVE TIME IS OVER! CG: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD [extracts pages 3424, 3351, 2471-2, 2470]

And, if you want to add Pesterquest:

[Horrible screen I stole on google images of Karkat’s Game Over route - yes, I’ve played Pesterquest lol]

NOTE: I’ll use this stuff later too.

Basically: just because they are prickly at each other and insult each other and flirt pitch, doesn't mean they would be good kismesis. Indeed, recontextualizing everything, between the two of them there is practically nothing of pitch apart from the insults and flirting. I'm not saying that an "abnormal kismessitudine" with them couldn't work, on the contrary, but, in my humble opinion, reaching this conclusion would simply be too reductive.

Since I showed them, let's talk about the pages above now!

It's undeniable — whether you want to see them as friends or lovers — that Karkat and Sollux care about each other.

And I know everyone's talking about Karkat carrying Sollux to safety, despite him being a burden while he runs for his life; and how Karkat doesn't want Sollux to abandon him at the end of Act5Act2, but I'd like to take a moment to analyze something I've never seen anyone mention, for some reason.

First, there's one assumption to have in mind before moving forward: characters — in general, any series — can lie. They don't always have to be honest and they don't always have to tell us when they're not; it's up to us to connect the dots. Having said that, HERE ARE THE POINTS I HAVE CONNECTED, you’re welcome :)

PCG: OK SO YOU'RE SAYING THIS FROM LIKE 5 HOURS IN THE FUTURE JUST TO GIVE ME A HARD TIME, NICE. PCG: WELL THANKS FOR THE HELP, SO WHEN DO I BAN YOU, FUTURE BOY? PTA: a few liine2 down, after ii pretend liike iim goiing two diie. PTA: iim 2ure for a laugh on account of my iimmiinent banniing, FUCK how could you even do that two me. PTA: 2o cold man. PCG: ARE YOU REALLY STILL SORE AT ME FIVE HOURS LATER FOR RUNNING THAT VIRUS, GOD DAMN GET OVER IT. PCG: IT WAS YOUR FUCKING VIRUS ANYWAY, YOU'RE TO BLAME. PTA: eheh no bro we're cool about that, now future you ii2 connectiing wiith me 2o ii can enter the game. PCG: OH YEAH? PTA: yeah 2o thank2 for that fiive hour2 iin advance. [extract page 2543]

Sollux will die immediately after.

No, I won't touch this dialogue for now; let's think first about Sollux, in general. Sollux knows when he will die and how, in a very generic and vague way, at least from what transpires from his dialogues:

TA: ii am goiing two diie. TA: ii mean we all are. TA: but e2peciially me. TA: ii am goiing two get my a22 2erved two me twofold. TA: double the 2erviice. TA: liike two dude2 on doublebutler ii2land. TA: gettiing worked over by a 2iiame2e twiin ma22eu2e. TA: but before ii diie, iim goiing two go bliind liike you. TA: iit ha2 two happen liike that. TA: iim not 2ure why, but ii thiink iit2 liike... TA: fulfiilliing 2ome requiirement for a true prophet of doom. TA: iin order for the vii2iion2 two be riight, that ha2 two happen, and the uniiver2e wiill make 2ure iit wiill. TA: iit2 kiind of liike how a prophet earn2 hii2 2triipe2, by beiing bliind, liike how an angel earn2 iit2 wiing2.

[extract page 2082]

Now, we can be idiotic children and believe that SOLLUX, who told Terezi precisely that he will die twice, that he will become blind before dying in one of these, and that becoming blind and dying is the key to returning to life as a sighted person. according to a strange prophecy he mentions, he doesn't know when the fuck he'll die. It could be, although it is extremely unlikely. It's true that he doesn't say anything about the circumstances in which he will die, but the omission does not imply unawareness, BUT LET'S PRETEND TO BELIEVE HIM WHILE HE SAYS IT!

In any case (later in the comic), the words Sollux uses in his last dialogue with Karkat before his death #1 are strange, too confident and stupidly false.

PTA: yeah 2o thank2 for that fiive hour2 iin advance. PCG: THIS IS BS ISN'T IT. PCG: TROLLING ME FROM THE FUTURE, HOW JUVENILE CAN YOU GET. PTA: no man iit2 true, we are bulge bumpiing pupa pal2 agaiin. PCG: OH FUCK THIS CONDESCENDING FUTURE KNOWITALL ACT, WE AREN'T BUMPING SHIT, YOU ARE SO BANNED. PTA: nooooooo, not the ban, it buuuuuuurn2, oh god hahahaha.

In short, even Karkat doesn't believe they are sincere. I don't think the tone Sollux uses is condescending, but I'll talk more about it shortly later.

Why didn't Sollux tell Karkat right away that he was going to die? Simple answer: the prophecy had to be fulfilled. Sollux, who is a Doom player, accepts this and lets himself die because he knows that this will make the game progress.

And it's a good explanation, but it doesn't explain why he chose to say those things to Karkat, when there was absolutely no need to. You could justify it with "Sollux knows he's going to die because of Karkat so he's mad at him", and that might make sense initially, but then it becomes meaningless when you think about it again. Why act so genuinely, like he's having fun, instead of being pissed, being sarcastic, spiteful, or something like that?

THEORY, really, don't take my word for it, BUT I BELIEVE Sollux was trying to calm Karkat down. WEIRD THING I KNOW, but Sollux obviously knows Karkat better than anyone else, so Sollux knows he's going to die, he knows how Karkat will react to his death — because he knows Karkat is sensitive and, in general, cares about people — and he decides to make it funny; pretending to fake his death, so as to get himself blocked and at least delay the moment in which Karkat sees his corpse.

But maybe I'm just traveling in my mind. The other possible reason that comes to mind is that Sollux didn't really think about it; he knew he was going to die and contacted Karkat before doing so, making light of it. Here we could open a whole discussion on why Sollux chose Karkat, but I think the reason is "ironic" (just to see him get pissed off before dying, because it's funny).

Now we can go back to the previous scenes. Whether Sollux, in the dialogue discussed above, acted for ironic reasons or to reassure Karkat, it is equally undeniable that these two do give a damn about each other, but mainly it is Karkat who shows it:

Karkat crying (twice) over Sollux's deaths;

Karkat who feels guilty for his death;

Karkat, who is relieved that Sollux isn't dead, drags him to safety—despite the fact that a killer clown is following them and that Sollux greatly slows their escape.

These are some examples, the most famous - which is why I didn't dwell on them too much.

[PS: Another, very minor example of Sollux “proving not to give a damn about Karkat” is this scene here:

TA: KK DO NOT RUN THAT CODE. TA: hello?????????????? carcinoGeneticist's [CG'S] computer exploded. TA: oh my god.

[extract page 2086], but I’ll talk better about it NOW:]

The point is (GOD this is getting too long) that they are too “soft” with each other to be kismesis, despite the pitch flirting and insults.

Sending a virus < a kismesis might do it == warning that person right after and trying to “save” them from it after a change of heart < NOT kismesis.

Checking that the other is still alive after he faints following a battle < the comic suggests that this is not normal behavior between kismesis, but it may still be within the norm == carrying his body with you despite risking getting yourself kill yourself < NOT kismesis.

Insulting < normal for two kismesis == stop immediately when the other tells you he's not in the mood < NOT kismesis.

It might be bad for a fan to see that, in the end, kismesis do not have a “moral code and mutual respect” in the original comic, contrary to what has been around in the fandom for ages. It may still be that all the examples of kismessitude we have had are wrong and do not reflect the true troll concept of "pitch relationship", but, ultimately, we have never had any examples other than the ultra-violent ones. And I don't see it as unlikely that, in a society like that of Alternia, the Empire would try to normalize so much violence by labeling it as "romantic".

And Karkat and Sollux are not violent with each other. They’re not kismesis, the end.

But it must be said that they are not even moirails. They are much more likely to become moirails than kismesis, but they are not. The reason is very simple: they suck at talking about their emotions. The problem lies precisely in them as people (/trolls), which does not allow them to form any pale relationship, even with other trolls.

Karkat was in a pale relationship with Gamzee. It lasted two pages(7). Sollux was in an ambiguous relationship with Aradia, which could be either just friendship, or matespritism or moirallegiance — although I’ve already explained why I think they would suck as moirails. 

7: In this specific case -- gamkar shippers please don’t kill me -- I believe that Karkat had never had any LASTING "pale feelings" for Gamzee. Karkat cares about everyone's well-being, and when Gamzee -- an out of control highblood -- started killing everyone, obviously BIOLOGY TROLL and Karkat gave his ass away to calm him down. It wasn't something that was meant to last regardless, unlike other pale relationships like that between Equius and Nepeta, who actively nurse their moirallegiance. (it was a One Night thing, in short).

They could, eventually, find other forms of communication and establish a healthy relationship, actually, but the immutable fact would remain that they feel sexual attraction to each other. The first rule of a pale relationship is DO NOT BE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOUR MOIRAIL — which many translate as “don't fuck your moirail,” but I have a lot to say about that(8). They could be "atypical moirails", but at this point they could also be "atypical kismesis", one is as good as the other and why should I choose one and not the other?

8: OK I'LL SAY IT! Comfort sex is a thing. Moirallegiance is based above all on comforting, helping and protecting the other; so in certain situations, needs, etc., I don't think two moirails would have too much trouble fucking.

Moving forward, the last quadrant is missing - I won’t analyze the ash one for the simple reason that I have already said that they cannot be kismesis, and if they are, they would be too little dangerous to "earn" an auspice - the flushed quadrant.

It might seem like a good compromise: they care about each other and feel sexual attraction. But you only need to see their relationship for five seconds to understand… it doesn't make sense. Too many insults, too many threats, too much teasing, even in this case we would fall into an "atypical matespritism".

Their relationship, in conclusion, hangs on too many sides to give a precise definition:

Too serious flirt to be friends;

Too soft to be kismesis;

Too much physical attraction to be moirails;

Too mean to be matesprits.

There is only one solution, in my mind, that makes sense for these two.

The only solution I personally find is a quadrant vacillation, or even a mix.

In moments of flirtation and insults they are kismesis; in vulnerable moments they are moirails. I find it difficult to see them “mixing the two together” to vacillate red, but it could happen (a lot). Among other things, if they filled two quadrants at the same time, it would further satisfy Sollux's fetish for number two, and we're all happy.

The other idea, that of mixing pitch and pale, makes sense in the context of “atypical moirallegiance/kismessitude” that I have talked about so far, but I find it a little less likely as a path.

[Or they could just be Friends with Benefits, idk, that's likely too].

AND ANYWAY I FINISHED TALKING ABOUT THEM THANK GOD!