yapper of pokemon (particularly with the main series, anime, pmd and other spin-offs, and fangames (mostly the rebornverse.)) this is my main special interest but i post about other stuff too.
i never check my inbox so if you send me something ily but i'll only see it after a million years have passed.
dni if you fetishise pedophilia, incest and abuse, including in fiction. these are my boundaries, and you will be blocked if you cross them.
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who cares if your 12 year old meows at people. it's grade school, not a job interview. and before anyone says anything no I wasn't the meowing kid. I was a wolf thank you very much
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i cant believe that there's still gamergate STANK on games that women enjoy. NASTY misogyny residue. stardew valley is in fact a video game. animal crossing is also a video game. so are otome games and dating sims and twee little cozy games. sometimes a bitch doesnt wanna play bloodborne that shit's hard
guys who mainly play 2k and fortnite will still be like oh youre not a real gamer for having 1000 hours in stardew. mother fucker you're larping as a basketball player
i see so many guys on this site act like it's impossible for them to ever pass as a cis man and that medical transition doesnt work and im here to tell you that it does!! testosterone and top surgery and metoidio and phallo are wonderful things, tell your friends
when i was younger i felt like I'd never pass and now at 4-5 years (i forgor <3) on T i am almost never misgendered in my day to day life. you can get to that point too, don't listen to anyone who says otherwise
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by the way. it never is too late to decide you want to be happy. the woman who helped me get hormones didnt start hers until she was 70, and i met her at 73, beautiful and smiling - and told me that the last three years of her life had been her favorite. your favorites might be ahead of you too. why not hang around and find out?
how do you know if you have severe enough trauma to be a system? this isn’t me claiming you aren’t one at all I just doubt myself quite a bit.
OOUHH. BEEN THERE.
I cared about that So Hard for So Long because I kept seeing people say that if your trauma isn't "severe enough" then none of your other experiences matter regardless of how obvious everything else is. I cared SO HARD that at age 14 I tried my very best to remember ALL MY TRAUMA in order to "prove" that I was really a system. very very bad idea. spent years doubly traumatised because I was NOT SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER ALL THAT.
all that to say. sometimes "knowing for sure" isn't the most important thing. sometimes seeking it out actually makes you feel worse.
human brains are also CRAZY THINGS. who knows what each person's individual threshold for becoming a system is?? there are current theories regarding trauma, absolutely, but there are also so many variations in brains that it can be impossible to account for every individual experience. for me, my trauma was ABSOLUTELY enough to account for this. but to others, it might not be.
if I were you, I would do my best to focus on the experiences that help you understand your situation better, rather than the experiences other people say should define your life.
to deny all your other experiences because you feel like you didn't "go through enough" is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. if you're here now, experiencing these things, you most likely went through MORE than enough.
and if you feel like there's more you can't remember, it's probably not a good idea to go looking. often, you can't easily re-bury what you uncover, and your brain has blocked it out for a reason. at the very least, explore that alongside a professional.
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the fact that I feel the need to go, "and don't forget about Black people" is the most damning indictment of tumblr that I can give without being tempted to mention photovoltaic bartholemew. I have to browbeat you people to reblog any kind of Melanistic Mention. I love you, but i despair of you understanding the way I interpret your suburban accent.
Tears that are driven by white guilt are self-indulgent. When we are mired in guilt, we are narcissistic and ineffective; guilt functions as an excuse for inaction. Further, because we so seldom have authentic and sustained cross-racial relationships, our tears do not feel like solidarity to people of color we have not previously supported. Instead, our tears function as impotent reflexes that don’t lead to constructive action. We need to reflect on when we cry and when we don’t, and why. In other words, what does it take to move us? Since many of us have not learned how racism works and our role in it, our tears may come from shock and distress about what we didn’t know or recognize. For people of color, our tears demonstrate our racial insulation and privilege.
I asked the woman of color I refer to in the opening of this chapter if I was missing anything in this list. This is her response:
It’s infuriating because of its audacity of disrespect to our experience. You are crying because you are uncomfortable with your feelings when we are barely allowed to have any. You are ashamed or some such thing and cry, but we are not allowed to have any feelings because then we are being difficult. We are supposed to remain stoic and strong because otherwise we become the angry and scary people of color. We are only allowed to have feelings for the sake of your entertainment, as in the presentation of our funerals. And even then, there are expectations of what is allowed for us to express. We are abused daily, beaten, raped, and killed but you are sad and that’s what is important. That’s why it is sooooo hard to take.
White Fragility, Robin DiAngelo (emphasis mine)
