mom's minion memes for real justice
i posted these originally like 9 or 10 years ago or something but I can't find them anywhere, so now you get retortured.
dirt enthusiast
Stranger Things
Three Goblin Art
Claire Keane
Not today Justin
RMH
hello vonnie
Sade Olutola
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

titsay
Mike Driver

Product Placement

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

oozey mess
h
occasionally subtle


izzy's playlists!

Andulka
wallacepolsom
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@bwaylover1993
mom's minion memes for real justice
i posted these originally like 9 or 10 years ago or something but I can't find them anywhere, so now you get retortured.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“The Mirror/Phantom of the Opera/Music of the Night.” June 7, 2026, Sunday matinee.
Hugh Panaro and Francesca Mehrotra, with Dan Hoy. “Masquerade,” music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, from “Phantom of the Opera.”
Lee’s Art Shop, 218 West 57th Street, New York City
. ݁˖ . ݁🏳️⚧️ Happy Pride Month 🏳️🌈. ݁˖ . ݁
Phantom hugs! Dedicating this one to both @wheel-of-fish and @from-aldebaran - congratulations Deb on your first day as official stream host!
(pencil on paper | please don't repost without permission)

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Our Little Fool - Platonic!volturi King x female!Human!reader part 2
For one terrible moment, the throne room was silent.
Not the usual calm silence that accompanied the Volturi.
No.
This was fear.
Raw and awful and unfamiliar.
Because the human girl they loved—the one person in the castle who brought flowers into the throne room, who made Aro laugh, who listened to Marcus’s stories, who argued with Caius over scarves and meals and sleep schedules—
Was unconscious.
And covered in blood.
No heartbeat.
⸻
“Move.”
Everyone jumped.
Caius.
His voice shook.
Actually shook.
He knelt beside you immediately, uncaring of the blood staining his robes.
“My child.”
Nothing.
No response.
Your heartbeat.
Where was your heartbeat?
Felix looked ill.
Demetri looked worse.
“I’m sorry,” Felix whispered.
The enormous guard stood frozen, his hands covered in your blood.
“I’m sorry.”
Demetri couldn’t even speak.
His face had gone white.
Aro gently held your hand.
“Fetch Carlisle.”
Nobody had ever heard Aro sound like that before.
Quiet.
Not theatrical.
Not cheerful.
Scared.
Jane disappeared instantly.
Alec followed.
⸻
Marcus sat beside you.
His ancient eyes fixed on your face.
And something inside him twisted painfully.
He had lost so much.
So many bonds.
So many loves.
But you—
Bright, sweet, stubborn little you—
Had somehow wormed your way into his ancient heart.
And now—
“No.”
Marcus whispered it softly.
As though denying reality itself.
“No.”
⸻
Five minutes later, the doors burst open.
Carlisle Cullen rushed in.
Behind him came Esme Cullen.
Then Edward.
Alice.
Rosalie.
Emmett.
Jasper.
The entire Cullen family.
And immediately—
Esme gasped.
“My baby!”
Edward froze.
Alice burst into tears.
Rosalie looked murderous.
Emmett looked horrified.
Jasper’s eyes widened.
Carlisle was already moving.
“Everyone back.”
Nobody moved.
“Caius.”
Nothing.
“Aro.”
Nothing.
“Marcus.”
Nothing.
The three kings sat around you like gargoyles.
Carlisle softened.
“Gentlemen.”
Aro blinked.
Then immediately moved aside.
Marcus followed.
Caius remained.
“My lord—”
“No.”
“Caius.”
“No.”
Carlisle sighed.
“Please.”
Slowly—
Reluctantly—
Caius moved.
⸻
Carlisle worked quickly.
Broken ribs.
Concussion.
A fractured arm.
Bruising.
Cuts.
Heart started beating again.
Nothing fatal.
Nothing permanent.
But enough.
Enough to terrify everyone.
When Carlisle finally stepped away—
“She’ll recover.”
The room collectively sagged.
Aro nearly collapsed with relief.
Marcus closed his eyes.
And Caius sat down heavily.
Thank God.
⸻
Then came the guilt.
Felix still hadn’t moved.
He stood near the wall.
Silent.
Demetri beside him.
Neither guard had spoken in nearly twenty minutes.
You had risked yourself.
For them.
And because of that—
You were hurt.
Demetri swallowed.
“She thought we were losing.”
Felix’s voice cracked.
“We’re supposed to protect her.”
Nobody answered.
Because nobody knew what to say.
“We’re supposed to protect her,” Felix repeated.
His shoulders shook.
“And she protected us.”
Aro stood immediately.
“Felix—”
“No!”
Everyone froze.
Tears streamed down Felix’s face.
“If she’d died—”
His voice broke.
“I would’ve killed her.”
Silence.
“What?” Jane whispered.
Felix looked devastated.
“I would’ve killed her.”
He sank to his knees.
“Because I couldn’t live with myself.”
Demetri crouched beside him.
And for the first time in centuries—
The tracker wrapped his arms around his best friend.
Neither cared who saw.
Because both of them were shattered.
⸻
Hours passed.
Then days.
And you still hadn’t woken.
⸻
The kings refused to leave.
Absolutely refused.
Carlisle gave up arguing after day one.
Aro sat beside you reading books aloud.
Marcus quietly held your hand.
And Caius—
Caius complained.
Constantly.
“The blankets are insufficient.”
“The room is too cold.”
“Why are humans so breakable?”
“Who designed ribs?”
“Stupid things.”
But every few minutes—
His eyes drifted back to you.
Checking.
Always checking.
⸻
Esme cried.
Alice cried.
Rosalie threatened violence against everyone.
Emmett sat beside your bed and held your uninjured hand.
Jasper paced.
Edward remained silent.
Jane practically lived in your room.
And Alec quietly brought everyone tea.
⸻
Felix and Demetri never left either.
Though neither dared sit beside you.
They didn’t think they deserved to.
Which finally made Caius snap.
“For God’s sake.”
Felix blinked.
“My lord?”
“Come here.”
Felix obeyed automatically.
Caius pointed at the chair.
“Sit.”
“My lord—”
“Sit.”
Demetri looked confused.
“We failed her.”
Caius’s eyes narrowed.
“And who did she throw herself at that nomad for?”
Silence.
“You.”
“Yes.”
“And if she wakes to find the two idiots she nearly killed herself saving have abandoned her bedside—”
Caius looked personally offended.
“—she’ll be furious.”
Demetri’s eyes widened.
Felix looked hopeful.
“…Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Caius muttered.
“Ridiculous child.”
⸻
The fourth day.
Everyone was exhausted.
Even vampires somehow looked tired.
Aro sat with his head resting against your bed.
Marcus held your hand.
Caius pretended to read.
Jane curled up in a chair.
Felix and Demetri sat nearby.
Alice leaned against Jasper.
Esme rested beside Carlisle.
And Emmett quietly snored.
⸻
Then—
Movement.
Tiny.
Small.
But enough.
Marcus sat upright immediately.
Your fingers moved.
Aro gasped.
Caius dropped his book.
Jane practically teleported.
Felix stood so quickly his chair exploded.
Demetri screamed.
“CARLISLE!”
You groaned.
“Ow.”
Silence.
Then—
“Oh thank God.”
Aro.
Tears.
Actual tears.
You blinked.
Why was Aro crying?
Why was Jane crying?
Why was Felix crying?
Why—
“Caius?”
The ancient king immediately appeared beside you.
“Yes.”
His voice shook.
“I hurt.”
“I know.”
“My ribs hurt.”
“Yes.”
“My head hurts.”
“Yes.”
“My arm hurts.”
“Yes.”
“Everything hurts.”
“Yes.”
And suddenly—
Caius wrapped his arms around you.
The room froze.
Even Carlisle.
Even Marcus.
Even Aro.
Caius never hugged anyone.
Ever.
But now?
He held you tightly.
As though afraid you’d disappear.
“You foolish child.”
His voice cracked.
“You absolute little fool.”
And to everyone’s complete astonishment—
Caius was crying.
⸻
The room exploded.
Aro hugged you next.
Marcus held your hand.
Jane climbed onto the bed.
Alec smiled in relief.
Alice sobbed.
Esme cried.
Emmett cried.
Rosalie cried.
Jasper cried.
Carlisle smiled.
Edward laughed.
Demetri looked like he’d seen heaven.
And Felix—
Felix simply stood there.
Unable to move.
Until you smiled weakly.
“Hi.”
He burst into tears again.
“Kid.”
And suddenly this giant terrifying vampire was kneeling beside your bed.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Felix—”
“I’m sorry.”
“Felix.”
“I failed—”
“No.”
You squeezed his hand.
“No.”
Demetri had tears in his eyes.
“We almost lost.”
“No.”
You smiled softly.
“I saw my brothers needed help.”
Brothers.
Felix broke completely.
Demetri too.
And suddenly both guards were hugging you while trying very hard not to crush you.
⸻
Much later.
After everyone calmed down.
After Carlisle had shooed everyone away.
After the chaos settled—
Marcus quietly spoke.
“You scared us.”
You blinked.
“I’m sorry.”
“No.”
His hand squeezed yours.
“Do not apologize for loving.”
Aro nodded.
“You protected your family.”
Caius snorted.
“Though next time, perhaps use less self-sacrificial stupidity.”
You laughed.
And all three kings relaxed.
Because laughter.
Laughter meant life.
⸻
As you drifted to sleep again, you heard Caius mutter:
“We’re locking her inside.”
“No we’re not,” Carlisle said.
“Perhaps chains?”
“No.”
“A small cage?”
“No.”
Marcus smiled faintly.
“Too small.”
Aro gasped.
“Matching family armor!”
“No!” everyone shouted.
And for the first time in four terrible days—
The room filled with laughter.
Because their little fool had come back.
And none of them intended to let her out of their sight again.
Not for the next thousand years. ❤️
The Trials Expanded: Ao3 Links
The Trials
Winter Solstice
Eclipse of Spring
all chapters now available.
in love with this Henry piece by Tindu
links: ( X | tumblr )
such a reference for a later chapter of Wounds…
Michael Nicholson (with Olivia Safe)

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Eclipse of Spring: Paradise Lost
NSFW / 18+
Chapter One of Season Three of The Trials Expanded
Plot Summary: Something sinister is waiting on the edges of Spring. Waiting to unravel Theo and Jane's perfect life.
Pairing: Theo Deschamps x Jane Warfield!Reader
Content: domestic fluff, fpreg, this season is going to get dark just fyi, Black Ravens, dark magic, grumpy Theo, teasing, smut (dom/rough Theo, power play, fingering, orgasm denial, penetration, blowjob, oral), nightmare, cliffhanger.
WC: 7.5k
Erik & Christine Takarazuka Revue’s all-female production of Yeston and Kopit’s PHANTOM
Henry Creel/Mr. Whatsit takes Y/n, he holds her mind captive while caring for her in his home.
I have been looking for another good Mr.Whatsit story and came across this fluff on Wattpad. Let me tell you this brought tears to my eyes. Very beautiful and well written story. I recommend reading this, especially if you prefer no-smut stories (fluff). Must read❤️
A Sudden Wave
Suddenly, a woman's scream pierced the quiet woods. I drew my dagger and ran in her direction.
Legolas' body reacts before his mind fully processes the sound, the scream, sharp and terrified, slicing through the peaceful woods. In an instant, he's moving. No hesitation. No thought of danger, just instinct; a prince trained in battle since childhood, kicking into action.
He sprints after you, drawing his slender elven blade from its sheath in one fluid motion. Silver light glints off the steel as trees blur around them. His heart pounds, but not with fear for himself, but concern for whoever screamed... and what might be threatening them. The tranquil walk is over.
Up ahead, 3 orcs cornered a mother and a small child on the path. I ran and jumped on the back of the one closest to me, drawing my blade across its throat. It dropped to the ground, holding its neck as it bled out.
Legolas sees the scene flash in a split second; the orcs, hulking and foul, looming over a trembling woman clutching her child. One of them is already turning toward you as you leap as if wind were given form. Your dagger flashes, quick, precise, and the nearest Orc falls, throat slit before it can even roar. Without missing a beat...Legolas charges.
In one graceful arc, he lunges at the second Orc with his blade, elven steel slicing through grime-coated armor. The creature staggers but doesn't die instantly; Legolas follows up fast—a second strike to its chest.
The third whirls around with a crude axe raised. I tackled the Orc to the ground, but he rolled on top of me, straddling my arms at my side and raising his axe to strike.
Legolas sees it: your body pinned, the Orc looming over you with a gnarled axe raised high, ready to crush your skull.
Time slows.
His blood turns cold for you. Wren. The one who trusted him. Shared her loneliness. Was finally getting answers.
In a flash of silver and fury...He leaps. With elven speed honed by years of training and battle instinct, he closes the distance in less than a breath and slams his full weight into the Orc's side. The impact knocks the creature sideways off you with brutal force.
I rolled with the force of Legolas' tackle, this time rolling onto the Orc and driving my dagger into his eye socket.
The Orc jerks once, then collapses, lifeless, beneath you; a gruesome but effective kill.
Legolas rolls to his feet in the same motion, blade still raised, scanning for threats. One Orc down from your attack. One dead by his strike. The third? Dead.
The woman and child are crouched against a tree, safe now, but wide-eyed with terror. For a breathless second... silence returns to the woods. Only heavy breathing and rustling leaves fill the air. Then Legolas turns to you, not to judge your violence (necessary), not to scold (it saved lives), just checking: "Are you hurt?"
"I don't think so." I scrambled to my feet and rushed to the woman and child. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" I caressed the small boy's cheek, looking for signs of injury. The woman is pale, her hands trembling as she clutches the small boy, no older than five summers. Her eyes are wide with shock and lingering fear, but no blood stains her clothes or his.
"No," she whispers shakily. "They... they just grabbed us. The little one started crying..." She pulls the child closer instinctively as you gently check his face, the soft cheeks untouched by violence, no bruises yet from rough hands. The boy sniffles, still scared, but looks at you with huge, trusting eyes now that the monsters are gone.
Legolas steps forward quietly behind you, trying not to intrude on your moment of comfort, but standing guard like a sentinel in case more threats come.
I took the woman's hands between mine. "Are you alright? Is there anything I can do for you?"
The woman stares at your hands. They were gentle, steady, holding hers with such kindness that it seemed to unravel something in her. For a moment, she can't speak. She's been running on fear for minutes. Tears well up.
"No... no," she finally says softly, "I'm not hurt." She squeezes your hands back, grateful beyond words, not just for the rescue, but for how you're treating her: not as a victim to be questioned or scolded. Her voice cracks slightly. "You saved us."
I laughed gently. "Hardly that. Here..." I pulled out a small knife that I carried for various reasons. It wasn't a fighting weapon, but it would do. I handed it over to her. "Take this. And on your next stop, buy a sword. Ask the blacksmith for someone who can train you in swordsmanship."
The woman stares at the knife in your hand, small, simple, not a weapon of war... but still steel. A tool that could defend her child.
Her breath hitches. No one has given her anything like this before, not out of kindness, not freely. With trembling fingers, she takes it from you and holds it close to her chest like something sacred. "Thank you," she whispers. Her voice was thick with emotion. "I... I will find a blacksmith tomorrow."
"Go, continue with your heads held high. Show no fear."I smiled at her.
The woman nods, her shoulders squaring slightly, your words giving her a quiet strength. She lifts the boy into her arms and starts walking down the mossy path, clutching your knife in one hand like armor.
Legolas watches them go, their small figures growing smaller between trees until they vanish around a bend. Only then does he exhale. The tension in his body eases. The battle adrenaline fades. He turns to you, studying your face, finding the calm after violence, the gentle firmness that had comforted strangers so effortlessly. Without speaking yet...he simply looks at you.
"What on the gods' green Middle-Earth are Orcs doing this far North?" I knelt beside a corpse, looking for a sign of where they may have come from.
Legolas frowns deeply, his expression turning grim. Orcs this far north, so close to the peaceful villages of the Woodland Realm? That's not normal. They're usually confined to darker lands: Mordor, deep caves in the Misty Mountains... or sometimes roaming near human settlements. But here?
This is elf territory. Ancient woods. A quiet life. His mind races with implications, none good.
"Either they wandered too far by mistake," he says slowly, "or someone sent them." A cold thought follows: "Orcs don't travel alone unless commanded."
"Scouts?" My eyes filled with worry.
Legolas nods; slowly, grimly. "Scouts," he confirms, "or worse... a patrol. If they're this far north, it means someone is pushing their borders. Testing the edge of elven lands." His jaw tightens. Orc patrols usually come in larger groups, not just three like these. These might've been separated from a bigger force... or sent ahead to scout for weak points: villages, supply routes, unguarded paths.
"If there are more out there," he says quietly, "we need to warn the guards at the village."
"Let's." I took off at a steady run. There was no telling if we were already too late.
Legolas doesn't hesitate; he breaks into a sprint beside you, his long elven legs matching your pace easily. The trees blur as you both race down the winding forest path, boots thudding against earth and roots. No words now. Just urgency.
The village is an hour away on foot, but that's too long if orcs are already moving in force. If these three were scouts... others could be closer by now. Closing in on homes, children, and elders who can't fight. Legolas pushes faster with focused speed, the kind only trained warriors can sustain for hours at a time. At our pace, we reached the village in half an hour. We arrived to see an all-out battle taking place between the city's guards and a horde of Orcs that were trying to penetrate the city walls.
"No!" I screamed. I pulled my wind to me as Legolas, and I attacked from behind, allowing the city guards to push their frontline back.
The village is chaos, flames lick the thatched roofs, arrows fly in all directions, and orcs pour over the walls like a black tide. Guards, mostly elves armed with bows and short swords, are holding the line... but barely. Then you arrive.
And with you, the wind answers.
A sudden gale erupts from your body, not gentle this time, but fierce. A roaring blast of air slams into a cluster of orcs scaling the wall. They're ripped backward like leaves in a storm, crashing to the ground below or flung entirely out of reach.
Legolas doesn't waste a second. He sprints forward beside you, blade flashing, and cuts down an orc that had just scrambled up after your gust knocked it off balance. Together? You become fire and fury: he slices through enemies; you use bursts of wind to clear space for others. Within minutes, dozens of orcs lie dead.
Legolas exchanges swift words with the captain of the guards, an elf in bloodied silver armor, his face streaked with soot and sweat. The captain reports: no banners, no markings on uniforms... but their weapons are crude yet well-made. Not random orcs. These were organized. Trained.
And they came from the east; beyond the Misty Mountains, possibly from a stronghold that had been quiet for years. While Legolas gathers information...you kneel among fallen bodies, checking tunics, belts, any symbol or insignia burned into steel or cloth.
"There's nothing," I told Legolas as he made his way back to me, "There's nothing that tells us where they've come from. Does the guard know anything?"
Legolas frowns, shaking his head as he steps back to you. The guard had no answers, either, no banners, no sigils on armor or weapons—just standard issue for an orc warband: crude axes, iron-tipped spears... nothing distinctive.
"Nothing," he confirms quietly. "No symbols of Mordor." That was strange and troubling. Orcs usually serve a lord: Sauron's remnants in the east? But these... they came from somewhere new. Or worse, they were acting independently. And that meant chaos.
"It seems they've got the fires out. Hopefully, that's all the excitement they'll see today." I watched as men climbed roofs to toss water on the fires.
Legolas watches the village guards finally contain the flames, buckets of water passed from hand to hand, elves dousing burning thatch and straw—the smoke thins. Panic eases. The worst is over. No more orcs are scaling the walls. Not yet, anyway. The bodies scattered around suggest this was a single assault wave... not a siege. He exhales deeply; the kind of breath you take after surviving battle.
"Let's hope so," he says softly. "This village isn't fortified for long warfare." His eyes scan the damaged gates, broken fences... homes with charred edges where fire licked too close. A quiet anger stirs in him at whoever sent these monsters into peaceful lands.
"I'm sure your father will want to know about this. Shouldn't you go to him?" I asked urgently.
Legolas stiffens slightly at the mention of his father. Thranduil would definitely want to know immediately. An orc raid this close? Unprecedented in recent centuries. But the thought of leaving now... after all that just happened...He hesitates.
You'd fought beside him and saved lives together. The village is still recovering, and you're right here, standing amid smoke and wreckage, a Wind Elf who answered chaos with power.
And yet...Duty calls.
A prince can't ignore an attack on elven land, not when it might be part of something bigger: invasion? Espionage?
"Yes," he says finally. "I should go." He looks at you, not wanting to leave so soon.
I bowed my head at him. "I'm sure this won't be the last time we meet."
Legolas sees the bow and the quiet respect in it. Something warm blooms in his chest. He doesn't feel like royalty right now... just a fellow fighter who stood beside you in fire and blood. And yet, your words... They sound like hope.
He doesn't return a formal bow. He steps forward instead, closing the small distance between you, and gently places his hand on your shoulder. A real touch. Not princely distance, but camaraderie.
"Wren," he says softly, "you're right." Then—a small smile. "I'll find you again." With that promise hanging between them, he turns and breaks into a swift run toward the castle.
15 Years of Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger
15 YEARS?! That’s freaking crazy!

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Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.
Guess who got her hands on the 2025 Tokyo Revengers musical lmao. Anyways I love LOVE Shogo Suzuki as Baji he’s so peak. Also mild spoilers but Baji’s ghost (or a form of Baji’s memory) comes to talk to Chifuyu after the fight with Valhalla, because they rearrange the section with their first meeting to earlier in the musical, so that the whole line of halfing the yakisoba makes sense