* ( DRUNK IN LOVE !

| ◤° [ ‘ FIRST STEP IS angry faces, next step is you britney wildin’ with an umbrella through the fuckin windshield. don’t act like you’re not about to snap. ’ the woman tutted, rolling her eyes at the younger male as he complained. ‘ awh, baby boy. you’re just going to have to deal with it like the rest of us. ’

@BLVKBARBIE: i can blame them when they wanna look like dalmatians, yeah @BLVKBARBIE: i’m older than you i take offense to this. i wanna be grown and sexy, not adorable

BARBIE: i'm ashamed to know you

| ◤° [ ‘ IT’S JUST SOMETHING that happens. i’m not really thinkin’ about it. ’ if she did, she’d break down and no one knew barbie to be a weak bitch. she’d cried over this many too many years and refused to shed a single tear more. ‘ i don’t know how they didn’t all kill themselves. martha stuart tells my ass how much orange zest to add to an ounce of fucking anything and my family can’t even tell me how much pepper to put on macaroni and cheese. ’

@BLVKBARBIE: i mean i’m good not giving more reason to call me a bitch

@BLVKBARBIE: kind of like the troll justin timberlake did the voice over for

@BLVKBARBIE: nuh uh admit it some of these filters are 100% catfish @BLVKBARBIE: snapchat out here tryna hand out fake eyelashes, contour, lipstick, all these things you don’t got and tryna make you look like golden barbie 

@BLVKBARBIE: oh wow thanks i’ve never felt so great in my life  

| ◤° [ ‘I’M PRETTY SURE once the divorce is final, i move out, and i go my separate way from the big bad du haven family, no one’s going to really care what i’m doing. ’ she’d married zahkari for many reasons, love being the most of all, but when that wasn’t enough, barbie couldn’t bring it upon herself to just stay because it had helped start her career. ‘ at least they have them. my ‘buelita will be like ‘ you put a bitta this, a bitta that’. everything is fucking to taste. ’

@BLVKBARBIE: unpopular opinion but honestly every snapchat filter makes you look like a mfin toe

BARBIE: Yeah, you a fun sucker

@BLVKBARBIE: okay so why is everyone still obsessed with this filter i look like a grandma

BARBIE: do you tell small children santa ain't real

| ◤° [ ‘ NUH UH. YOU out here running your mouth about thanksgiving and that just what we are not gonna do, feel me? i’ll kick your ass back to the outback. ’ while she was only half joking, barbie could appreciate that luz wasn’t as sensitive as others. ‘ hot? hot where, sweetie? lookin’ hella homeless is what you are. besides? nah, that’s the WHOLE point. ’ 

BARBIE: you just... suck the fun out of everything, don't you?

| ◤° [ ‘ UHM, WE’LL SEE. ’ she replied vaguely, eyes diverting towards the ground as slim shoulders rose in a shrug. she’d wasted, it felt like, seven years on this and now she felt like she was giving up if she just outright said she was getting a divorce. ‘ hm, we all know you’d die without someone cookin’ for your feeble ass, so i’ve got you covered, boo .’