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I have three (3) brain cells and one is dedicated to loving women, the other one gets excited when it sees dogs and shiny rocks and the third is just there for a laugh

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

im stressed out that ppl don’t know my intentions at all times. spoiler alert: top priority is, i love everyone. second priority is to have a sexy and fun time

this image barely survived the shift between dimensions

you make me feel all akjdsjkdf and kldkjgkjgdklh, you know?

I can’t fix everything, but I can listen to every word and hug you when you cry.

me, finally getting a chance to say something I’ve thought about for twelve days straight: oh, hey, that reminds me, funny thing, this just came to mind but

honestly reblog if you’re in a heinous mood

I hate when people call randomly… like if you’re not the love of my life or my mother, please text to schedule an appointment first.

If someone tells you to listen to a song, listen to it.  It may be the worst song you have ever heard but they wanted to share it with you.  That is really special.  If it makes them feel a certain way and they are so adamant about you hearing it, take 5 minutes to hear it.  It shows a lot about someone.  

justifying any weird thing with “sorry im just.. really horny” is top tier humor

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i overheard these two guys in the hallway at my school and one of them was like “you always look hot dude… no homo tho” and then like 5 seconds later he yelled “sike!” and slapped the other dude’s ass