Imbutterbeanroll

I own 4 different blogs those being @lulu-the-lunar @crownedau @andy-andromeda and @bootyshaker9000wastaken feel free to check them out! But @bootyshaker9000wastaken is under construction

I'm abrosexual

My favorite songs are American healthcare (glitzy) - Penelope Scott, Mr. Rager - Kid Cudi, Nintendo 64 - Alex G and I Deserve To Bleed - Sushi Soucy

The songs I relate to the most: Mr. Rager - Kid Cudi, I Deserve To Bleed - Sushi Soucy and Coffee - Jack Stauber

My disabilities: autonomic dysfunction also known as POTS and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome

I struggle with some bad stuff mentally so please no toxicity towards me or my friends!

I'm agender so call me anything:3

I like to draw and doodle TMNT stuff because I'm hyperfixated on it at the moment

Don't talk to me on July 19th unless I talk to you first

My birthday is May 6th

Ballad of a disabled person

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Dni

Part 3 too late for a cure

After what felt like millions of tests and appointments I got an appointment to a doctor from Christchurch.

He came over to fill in for someone because they were on holiday.

But he finally cracked the code.

I had Kawasaki disease. An aggressive autoimmune disease that is uncatchable. It usually targets kids under 5 years old, but I got it when I was 6.

My mother asked if there was any cure for it, and the good news was there was, but the bad news was that they were too late to give the cure so at the point I was at I was incurable.

So I was forced to just deal with the pain. Like it wasn't even there but it was.

But the doctors said to me that because of my suffering that other young kids like me will be able to get the cure in time and that I was a "hero"

Because I was the first to be diagnosed in the whole of Blenheim, and apparently after my fall many other kids fell to the illness as well, but because of my sacrifice they wouldn't have to suffer the pain I did.

Because I suffered for them.

I'll always be jealous of those kids who got the cure. Because they didn't have to sacrifice their biggest passion forever because of it.

I loved football, but now I'll never ever be able to run after the ball the same again.

The following week was hell

They'd do hundreds of blood tests, and they'd take so much blood I felt lightheaded.

And symptoms just got worse.

To the point I couldn't hold myself up and struggled to walk, and I couldn't even hold a spoon to feed myself.

I could only cry, and sleep.

So that's what I did, when my daily appointments and blood tests were done with, I'd sleep and sleep and sleep. Because sleeping was the only thing that wasn't agonizing.

Sleeping was my only comfort, the only thing that made me peaceful.

I had to learn early, that the only thing that won't kill or hurt you will be sleep.

But even in that condition I'd be left home alone, so I learnt to bare with the pain if I didn't want to go thirsty.

When will my everlasting pain finally end?

Spoiler alert, never. It continues even now, I just deal with it because I'm not allowed to be weak anymore.

Because I'm the strong sister, because I battled illness and 'won'

But I didn't win. I just survived. I never won. Because even now the wounds are still bleeding even 7 years later.

Part 1 The start

Well as I remember it

It all started in 2019, one month before Christmas to be exact.

I was mildly unwell. My mum brought me to the doctor, they said I was dehydrated and sent me away again.

It was nice for a bit, I was given Powerade every day but my sickness continued to spread. Till one night, I awoke screaming and crying in pain, a unbearable pain throbbed in my legs.

My older sister cried because I was crying in pain, and my screaming woke up my baby brother, and well the whole house.

My mum called my sisters granddad so she didn't have to see me in such a state, and my nana and mum rushed me to hospital leaving my baby brother and dad at home.

I remember being hooked up to machines, we got there around 3 am, and we stayed till 8 am. No one knew what was wrong with me. It hurted knowing I was a mystery and that I might not even be diagnosed with anything.