But Milkshake Headaches Call It Home

We’re nothing more than glow in the dark stars. Plastered onto ceilings, dripping sticky glue of half lived lives.

We’re the way children learn to stare at life hopeful, even when its promises are so obviously empty and dim.

We’re the shut in girl counting to three as she hears her parents scream. “One, two, three, someone please save me”. We’re the pennies saved up in a little boys pocket as he bargains for just one fantasy to come true. He thinks he got a deal, but they robbed him blind, one more life never meant to be left behind.

We’re the fake promises, the truthfulness in every lie. We’re nothing more than plastic beacons on empty beaches trying to get one child through the storm up to the sky.

Sharp nails full of cyanid

Eyes well up that can not cry

A heart sunk far beneath the toes

Pin me down

Slow down time

A romance of death without the crime

Plug me in

Give it back

Strings pull down instead of up

Make me a marionette doll just to stand

One step forward

One step down

My knees are cold

My arms are shaking

Lose the sight

Keep on walking

Lose your life

Keep on living

Specks of purple

Dots of gold

I wonder how you remember me.

Do I come in flashes to you as soft words and gentle moments and lost love?

Do you think of me as a destroyer, breaking everything I touch with an apology already on my lips?

Am I the one who got away or the one you’re glad you got away from?

Did you know I still can’t think about you without crying?

My heart hurts knowing it isn’t connected to yours anymore.

I wish I could tear it out, throw it at all the people I’ve been with just to try to feel.

You were my one great love, but the problem is now I can’t see love as great anymore.

Anything I’ve felt has just been a fraction of what I gave to you.

I don’t want you back, I don’t deserve you.

I know that I am still struggling, that my mind is hurting me still, and I know it would hurt you too.

Anytime I think about ending it, about ripping out my heart, I hope you know it’s still your words that keep me alive, you made me promise.

(N.) a love song sung at dawn

The sky rains sapphires,

thousands run to catch the startling lights.

my darling I sit on a flowerbed dawn to wait for you.

The birds heed no mind, the sapphires are but acorns that have lost their mind.

I rest my head and feel my sun,

droplets of gold on my skin,

The sapphire rain is harsh and cruel but your sunlight my love turns brass arrows to feathered dreams.

You fill empty promises,

You quiet angry sky’s,

A gold so soft when the light hits it I could never avert my eyes.

The rest of the world may have sapphire sky’s,

But my dear,