collecting a deck one card at a time

so done with tumblr. see u all in two minutes

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

there’s a swedish princess who’s currently sitting alone at wimbledon feeling all sulky and miserable because she was really looking forward to discussing swedish politics with shane hollander

guess who just got kicked out of pride today for, you guessed it, being italian

WHO THE FUCK IS FRANK IERO

Ilya comes into the locker room with a black eye he didn’t have the night before. Everyone’s oohing and aahing and shane is. Very quiet. A little perturbed. People are making jokes about their sex life and shane is seething into his locker. The team finally fully gangs up on shane like hollander what kind of freak shit are you doing, huh? Sex swing gone wrong?? Knee to the face? And shane turns, crosses his arms and stares at the floor and states, very solemnly, “ilya got a yo-yo”

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

“my friend is ALWAYS sick and cancelling our plans” it sounds like your friends life suuucks and you should check on them

Hollanov with the fattest fucking baby you’ve ever seen. They’re biting her lil arm rolls and she’s giggling like a hyena. Ilya’s carrying her on his hip with it jutted out in a pair of short shorts like an 80s mom and Shane is wearing the ugliest khaki pants available with a fanny pack full of baby wipes. and they’re all caked in sunscreen and smiling brighter than the sun that’s beating down. Baby Hollanovs First Waterpark. Are you seeing the vision I’m painting