love is the answer.

My New Daily Affirmations.

Gorgeous Black Men

So we were approaching the [beach] scene, and I was talking to the two guys and they were both really, really, really, really nervous. Partly because they’d never performed a sex scene in a film before, they’d hardly acted at all, I hadn’t directed a sex scene, just all around we’re all green as hell. But we get there and the one kid, Jharrel Jerome, who plays Kevin, he’d asked me, he said, ‘So, Barry, what is this scene?’ I was like, ‘It’s in the script. Exactly the scene.’ I’m just trying to make it chopping wood. And I go, ‘Jharrel, are you a virgin?’ He goes, ‘No I’m not a virgin.’ I was like, ‘Okay, was the person you lost your virginity to more experienced, with the same experience?’ He was like, ‘No, she was more experienced.’ I was like, ‘Was it a good experience?’ He said, ‘Yeah, it was, she was really kind.’ And now, I like the actor to sort of talk their way into the solution, I don’t wanna give it. So I got quiet, and he said, ‘Is this the first time Kevin has kissed another man?’ I said, ‘No, it’s not the first time Kevin has kissed another man.’ Then I got really quiet and I just watched him. And he said, ‘Is this the first time Chiron has kissed another man?’ I didn’t say anything, and he said, ‘Oh, it’s the first time Chiron has kissed anyone.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ And that’s what the scene became about.

I want to be alone and I want people to notice me - both at the same time.