i just enjoy when my mind is slightly off like when i don’t sleep enough and am up early or when ive had way too much caffeine and my eyes are all fuzzy bc everything just feels a bit dull and different which is nice

the raw truth of our biological world becomes so much more clear with severe anhedonia and depression. like i’m kinda just observing it all from the plateau above in silence

going to check out my new apartment today and bring some things over. can’t sleep there until i get help with moving my bed but excited to be in the space :) just need to get through this week (my sisters wedding) and then i can fully move out and have space

i can’t win

every now and then i log onto my old instagram account to look at people from schools account and see where people have ended up and this morning i found out a true angel who i never saw be anything but kind and warm passed away in 2022. he was so full of life it’s actually very sad to me but i still don’t know how he died.

my stomach also just hurts so fucking bad today like always but wayyy fucking worse like why

when you think you’re making progress in a toxic work relationship and then they throw a fucking manipulative swing at you for no reason other than to call me you out and make you feel bad

hoping to hear today that i got accepted for my apartment… anxiously waiting

was gunna say something now i forget

okay it went kinda okay so i’m glad i got that over with but im still anxious about their thoughts

walking walking walking trying not to think

just texted my mom basically telling her i’m moving out so wish me luck guys im so scared of her and my dads reaction ugh and they’re out together right now

also didn’t walk this morning so the whole routine is in flames but this will just give me a reason to go for a long walk this afternoon instead

so down bad about my digestion i ate a piece of toast before going to work this morning