oddly humbling to look back on old photos where you used to think "god I look so horrible here" and realising that no, you looked absolutely fine, the photo is cute and you had zero reason to be ashamed of any of it
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Thinking about a character "he's just as annoying as I wish I could be" and that is the problem
See, my list of favourite characters is shamefully masculine. Since I tend to pick them based personal identification, that could either mean that there's an interesting gender crisis waiting for me - or maybe it says more about a character archetype you somehow don't find in women.
Sherlock Holmes, Lucifer Morningstar, Patrick Jane, Richard Castle, Gregory House... They're essentially all the same character. Eccentric genius with flamboyant, unconventional tendencies and a depressing backstory, etc etc. Except the thing is: you can't find a single (popular) female character for this trope. The closest you get is the manic pixie dreamgirl, except:
The manic pixie dreamgirl is a product of the patriarchy. she's a shell for men to project onto. Her actions don't make sense, she has no agency or inner world of her own because she's there to serve the man of the story.
Meanwhile, the aforementioned male characters are all about rationality, and their actions might be "quirky" or polarising, but they're always justified in some way. They can be as rude and off-putting as they want, their intellect is always going to redeem them.
A female character doesn't get that liberty. Even if she's right, she doesn't get to be annoying about it, and god forbid she doesn't fit the mold society's laid out for her. A woman's main value in a story never gets to be her intelligence without costing her something else. Either it's her flaw and she's an obnoxious know it all, or, if she's attractive enough, it's just a nice little bonus to her sexuality (think 'hot teacher') that's supposed to be switched off when inconvenient.
A lot of these male protagonists are also typical womanizers or playboys; Lucifer for example. A girl on either arm, bed never cold, that type of thing. But for them that only makes them more desirable, and if it's seen as a flaw then only in a cheeky 'boys will be boys' manner.
As per usual, imagine the uproar if a woman did this. It's the typical discussion, a woman who sleeps with too many men isn't a player, she's "letting herself go" or "has no self respect". It makes her less desirable, not more.
And quite simply: where the male characters get a detailed, dramatic and touching backstory, their female counterparts are rarely afforded that luxury. Find me half as many female characters with the same depth and complexity.
Believe me, I'd love to find myself a Greta House or a Regina Castle or a Lucinda Morningstar, but as it is, it's nigh-impossible because there aren't any.
step 1. Have a father complex step 2. Get into shows with main characters like your dad step 3. accept the fact that all of your interests will forever be tainted by experiences in your childhood step 4. Figure out that your mother used to like the same shows step 5. No wait roll that back does my mum like the same men
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