"draw a monster"

there’s an urge inside meto destroywhat i have been building non-stop foryears, years and yearsa single stone getting pulledby the same hands that put it to its placea terribly familiar story that will make your mouth dryand your eyes wet remind me who i am notand what i will never beit’s not the love you do not haveit’s the love you try to have for meand while it may be your intention to heal…

i want to be wrapped in a dozen layers of patiencei need themto hold my wrists and cross them over my heart’cause i am good at takingand tearing things apartwithout meaning toso tell mehow much it takes to feel loved?for this worthless creaturewho has never given anything backwho needs its hands tiedso it can’t steal time andsleep between the linesi can pay the price for damaged goodsi only need…

there’s an intruder, the forest whispers wetly in my earso i open my eyescause eternity is a long timeand i could use a companyvines would walk with me to the lakewhere you lay down on the sidenothing has felt so intriguing in yearson this endless Mobius stripyou open your eyesand i could write a thousand songs about how you looked under the afternoon sun you whisper my name like a death wishbut…

tell me what’s prettierthan an open woundshowing signs of healingand hurting so bad that the burn makes you feel alivetell me what’s more beautifulthan a healed scarlocking up all the memories and voices that came with themsitting gracefully on the skinturning it to a battlefieldand reminding you the war that has been won tell me what’s braverthan a man with fear of heights standing at the edge…

to you, only believer of this empty templeit’s time to shineto walk down all the roads like you’re walking to your own funeralit’s time to acceptwhat is there and what is notcould be’s and would be’sit’s time to come hometo yourself to you, the cold hearted child of hottest summersthe golden trophy of seasonswinning your heart could easily seem so impossiblebut with your lips partedwith the ray…

you came with stars and light on a suffocating saturday of Juneyou didn’t bring coolness, only fever and something burntyour skin was hot under the unforgiving summer sunyour fingers burning holes on my armsit wasn’t the heat that’s so inevitableit wasn’t me, either you leave with the same mantra every timei’m sick of fightingbut you love the painespecially coming from your own handslike the…

my monster has eyes of people i thought i knewshining brown, green, blue and hatefollowing me through my worst and my besthungry like sharks, smelling blood over a hundred milesthey never sleep but they became my nightmare my monster has noses that can smell all good thingsand bleed jealouslypicking the scent and airing it back to my memorieshunting down the precious moments, vulnarable onesand…

some nights, i fall asleep in my bedand wake up in my mindsometimes i try to explain the empty darkness in therewith my hands in the air, fingers searching for a hint to hold onwith my feet steady on the ground, just incase i trip over something’cause the darkness won’t forgive any falls, i knowit never did sometimes i try to see if there’s anything left from the strings of past sectionsi…

the library is dusty with all the books and memories insideyou drink your wine from the islands as you read a book with the same colored coverthe thirst is bearable but not quite a victory’cause you’re the drunk one, but i’m the one who looks happierthe clock is ticking, a door is opening somewhere in the castle“i brought you flowers,” you say, the crown on your head disappears for a split…

the crackle of the fireplace can be heard in the large roomdespite the quiet atmosphere, your hands look anxious as you write, write and writea smile creeps to general’s face“is everything politics for you, your highness?” he asks, even love? i add“yes,” you answer simply and your hands stop for a secondtwo glorious holes burn down my entire beingeven love.…the river is flowing a bit soundly in…

the afternoon sun is leaving its traces on the old paintings in the hallthe walls look a bit less intimidate, a bit more understandable with them“this looks a bit lonely,” you say, it’s Opheliathere she lies, with flowers and water surrounding her bodyshe looks kind of empty, for someone who’s going to die in such place“it’s supposed to, your highness.” i answer, maybe it’s the way she lays…

your dress is incredibly white among other souls with borrowed shirts and fancy clothsyet, it’s so familiar that i can almost taste the skin touching the silky materiallike i did a million times beforeunder a certain maple tree, behind the metal doors, on your well made bedyour dance partners come and go rather quickly tonighta colorful crowd is moving with the same sense of rhythmno one is…

the moon doesn’t stop following us until we’re back at your roomthis time it’s not the only source of light around usbut it’s still therewatching and reflecting the sun on the sheetsits job being similar to mine, i leave a kiss right between your eyes and nowi’m sure the sun is delightedto know that it can shine not only during the day but during the night too“i want to see,” you say and i close…

i hold my breath when the footsteps come closer to the wooden doora silent prayer falls from your lipsit sounded breathy, feigned and a bit mischievousbut it workedfootsteps fade into the night and nowthe only sound behind the door belongs to the crickets in the gardeni suck in a breath“what a night,” you whisper, your voice closer than ever“indeed,” i whisper back and send another prayer to the…

“it’s too hot,” you say, but you’re facing towards the suni always thought thatsummers between these stone cold walls should have felt cooler than anything“maybe up there,” i point a random tree between a thousand“is cooler, your highness.”your eyes find mine and we both know it nowi always thought thatold trees should have old roots too, like old friends“would you go there with me?” you ask but…

you always found a way into my heart like no one else did“i’ll take this”“this is yours”i’d gladly tidy up the little mess you createdand hold it close to my chestwhile you wait for me in the kitchen, sitting on the counteryour mouth red from the strawberries you just had and your legs swinging to a soft rhythm“you know this song”, you’d say as you jump to the ground, shifting the air around you…