#huntingnotes

there’s an urge inside meto destroywhat i have been building non-stop foryears, years and yearsa single stone getting pulledby the same hands that put it to its placea terribly familiar story that will make your mouth dryand your eyes wet remind me who i am notand what i will never beit’s not the love you do not haveit’s the love you try to have for meand while it may be your intention to heal…

i want to be wrapped in a dozen layers of patiencei need themto hold my wrists and cross them over my heart’cause i am good at takingand tearing things apartwithout meaning toso tell mehow much it takes to feel loved?for this worthless creaturewho has never given anything backwho needs its hands tiedso it can’t steal time andsleep between the linesi can pay the price for damaged goodsi only need…

tell me what’s prettierthan an open woundshowing signs of healingand hurting so bad that the burn makes you feel alivetell me what’s more beautifulthan a healed scarlocking up all the memories and voices that came with themsitting gracefully on the skinturning it to a battlefieldand reminding you the war that has been won tell me what’s braverthan a man with fear of heights standing at the edge…

my monster has eyes of people i thought i knewshining brown, green, blue and hatefollowing me through my worst and my besthungry like sharks, smelling blood over a hundred milesthey never sleep but they became my nightmare my monster has noses that can smell all good thingsand bleed jealouslypicking the scent and airing it back to my memorieshunting down the precious moments, vulnarable onesand…

some nights, i fall asleep in my bedand wake up in my mindsometimes i try to explain the empty darkness in therewith my hands in the air, fingers searching for a hint to hold onwith my feet steady on the ground, just incase i trip over something’cause the darkness won’t forgive any falls, i knowit never did sometimes i try to see if there’s anything left from the strings of past sectionsi…